Dear “Mr. Annoyed”: You Will Never Break Us Down
By RUStudentLife blogger Zahra Khozema
*Reader discretion: strong language*
On the 15th of April, the Vice-President of Equity for the Ryerson Student Union (RSU), Pascale Diverlus, “[found] out someone had put these flyers below all over campus in our school paper” as she described in her Facebook status.
Diverlus responded to this harassment fiercely by saying “First off: fuck you. Of course you would try to dictate what a black woman looks and dresses like” and “Have you ever thought that I don’t dress the way I do for your pervy eyes?”
Diverlus responded in full in the following:
I was going to wait until the end of my term to post this but in light of recent discoveries, now is as good as ever.
This year has been one of the best of my life. Getting elected (though now seems like a lifetime ago) didn’t even seem possible, let alone all the things we accomplished. From Loretta Ross to Nas to muhfukkin Laverne Cox, it’s been an unreal year.
That being said, this year was one of the hardest. Election time hit a few months ago and I saw a side of ryerson I desperately hoped did not exist. I was followed, stalked, harassed, and ripped apart every day. You can imagine what it was like for someone with a history of assault to experience this every day on a campus that was once a sanctuary for me. Even members of my family were sent messages. Despite that, I never came forward with it. I thought of this as part of elections and went along with it.
Months had passed and I put it behind me. Today I got to campus to find out someone had put these flyers below all over campus in our school paper. I don’t do this often but I thought I’d use this opportunity to address this bullshit.
Dear Mr. Annoyed, first off: fuck you. Of course you would try to dictate what a black woman looks and dresses like. Sadly this doesn’t surprise me. Since the time I went through puberty way earlier than everyone else (I had a bra in the 3rd grade; I’m actually proud of that fact now) I’ve had everyone from white teachers to white preachers to every white daddy telling me to cover up more.
Secondly, why you so mad Mr.Annoyed? Have you ever thought that I don’t dress the way I do for your pervy eyes? I see this as a challenge. For the next couple weeks I will commit to dressing as much as a hoe as possible. I hope the sight of my dimply ass hanging out of my batti riders angers you. I hope my boobs falling out my shirt makes you wanna rip your hair out. I sincerely pray my stomach poking out my crop top makes you have nightmares.
Now, I know this ain’t all about me. I know this motherfucker is mad of all the shit We’ve done this year. So he decided to reduce me down to my clothes and my body.
Lastly, I promised myself I wouldn’t get petty but meh: fuck you. Fuck your small minded piece of shit self. Kiss my fat stomach. Kiss my saggy tits. Kiss my thunder thighs.
Lastly, a big gigantic fuck you for trying to break me down. You forgot I am the daughter of immigrant parents who have been spit on, beaten and demoralized just because they were fighting for what’s right. YOU WILL NEVER EVER BREAK ME DOWN”
Diverlus’ couragous response sparked wild support from her online community, and, in honour of the #EndSH campaign RU Student Life is participating in, we would also like join the conversation and offer our two cents on the horrendous flyer circulated around campus, that is, if you’re willing to listen, “Mr. Annoyed.”
Dear Mr. Annoyed,
Yes, I’m talking to you. I’m aiming this at everyone who looks at women with judging eyes, to everyone who dares to touch her beautiful curves with their dirty thoughts, to everyone who feels entitled to voicing their unwanted opinions of misogyny, to everyone who dares to think they can limit the possibilities for dynamic, talented, independent, strong women.
As long as we are playing this ‘annoyed’ game, let me tell you what we are annoyed by:
We are ‘annoyed’ by the physical and emotional violence perpetuated against women in our media, in our homes, in our schools, in our workplaces.
We are ‘annoyed’ by the constant street harassment women have to face daily on campus.
We are ‘annoyed’ by getting slut shamed for dressing as we please.
We are ‘annoyed’ by women all over the world disappearing through infanticide, kidnappings, and murders.
It’s disgusting acts like yours today, Mr. Annoyed, that make people think the listed above is okay.
Normally, I try to ignore comments I receive on the streets because people tell me I’m just encouraging that behaviour, or I’m beating a dead horse; but I’ve realized I may actually be helping you, Mr. Annoyed, by not saying anything. Some people just look at harassment as whistling or hitting on someone without their being okay with it, but this contributes to bigger things — like domestic abuse, rape, violence against women. When things like this happen so often, they are taken in by society and become perceived as normal. Why are we still talking about this? Here’s why.
Oh, so you wouldn’t vote for a “half naked president” for Ryerson? How about one that accomplished securing “Loretta Ross to Nas to muhfukkin Laverne Cox” to our school events? Not to mention a woman who has assisted and supported the Centre for Women and Trans People and asserted the Women’s Hours at the RAC in which many women on campus, including myself, can have the opportunity to work out in a safe and inclusive space. So, please, tell me how much she wants your small-minded, slut-shaming, misogynist vote.
This grown woman is not “a little girl” waiting for your permission or approval to dress herself according to your standards.
Is our campus really so swallowed up by a rape culture that dictates what a woman can and cannot wear, how she can and cannot behave that flyers like these can be circulated without alarm? Thankfully, the response from Diverlus’s family, friends, and the Ryerson community has been extremely comforting and shows there is goodness in our community, there are voices that sound stronger than “Mr. Annoyed’s” hate.
Finally, as Diverlus herself said it best, “Fuck you. Fuck your small minded piece of shit self. Kiss my fat stomach. Kiss my saggy tits. Kiss my thunder thighs…YOU WILL NEVER EVER BREAK ME DOWN”.
RU Student Life would like to thank Pascale Diverlus for letting us share her story.
