How Not to Annoy Your Mentor
When seeking advice, make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons
The email beamed at me from my inbox with its simple querying subject line appealing directly to my ego: “Will you be my mentor?” Someone wanted me to mentor them? How validating!
Setting aside the very real possibility that someone was trying to catfish me, I eagerly opened the email. The message was a lengthy plea for me to review a resume, offer interview advice, and provide feedback on an impending major career pivot. The author was clearly driven and intelligent. The note was thorough, respectful, and heartfelt. It was also completely misguided.
The writer wanted someone else to validate their decision to quit their job to pursue a career in a new field. They laid out all their reasons, which appeared to be well-researched. They explained the pros and cons and concluded with where they were leaning—which is to say, they knew the answer already. It would have been easy for me to respond with exactly what they wanted, which would have been something like this:
You should go for this! You’ve looked at this from all angles and done your homework, and this is very clearly where your heart is leading you. Do not worry about walking away from a secure job with excellent pay and benefits. If you follow your…
