Men Explain Blockchain to Me
Imagine a marketplace of dick
If you’re going to a party in San Francisco, you’ll need two things: your Patagonia fleece and an ability to make casual cocktail conversation about blockchain technology. Your first five minutes will be spent talking about the obscene housing market, followed by chest puffing about crypto exchanges and the next new application of distributed networks. Upwardly mobile brogrammers love to explain blockchain to the uninitiated.
What follows is undoubtedly the best way to explain this exciting new technology at parties, especially parties where people arrive on motorized skateboards and tend make a sport out of superiority. Blockchain can be understood by anyone—it just isn’t always presented in a way that’s interesting or relevant to some people’s lives.
In an effort to do just that, I ask you to imagine a marketplace of dick.
In this marketplace, we all belong to a network that allows us to trade dick and keep a complete record of all dick activity. The Cockblockchain is a network of computers that all have the same record of dick use. In this way, it is decentralized, meaning that no one computer or person holds the records of dick transactions. As a dick gets traded from user to user, it is time-stamped and encrypted, creating a complete history of all dick activity…
