Taste the Mystery
The tantalizing rise of the mystery flavor
My obsession with mystery flavors started in the summer of 2014.
I was at a 7-Eleven — buying Blistex and Alka-Seltzer, probably — when a silver-foil package of DORITOS® JACKED™: Test Flavor 2653 caught my eye. “Be a Bold Taste Tester and you could get paid in gold!” blared the label. I had little interest in adding to my hoard of precious metals, but I had just begun researching the history of synthetic flavors in grad school, and this seemed like primary source material. Needless to say, I bought the Doritos.
I proceeded to forget all about them until a friend visiting from out of town unearthed the bag in the back of some little-used cabinet. I walked into the kitchen one morning to find her with the Doritos at arm’s length, holding the bag by one corner as if to minimize contact. The look on her face was disapproving and a little bit shocked, as though she had found some intimate personal device or discovered an embarrassing secret about me. “You’re a grown-ass woman,” her widening eyes seemed to say. “What are you doing with this nonsense?”
Ordinary Doritos would have been understandable; all of us were children once, after all, and sometimes Cool Ranch is the only glue that can hold body and soul together. But my friend was right: There is something peculiarly…
