The Problem with Performative Parenting
Broadcasting your parenting experiences on social media comes at what cost?
I used to have this rule: Never post a photo on Instagram until you’ve had time to absorb the full emotional weight of the moment. At the time, it was a good rule. It helped me to put my phone down and be present with my husband and kids. It gave me a healthy chance to process life internally before broadcasting my hopes and fears aimlessly onto the internet in exchange for a few likes. But what my rule didn’t do — what it couldn’t do — was erase the fear that brought me to the internet in the first place. Even if I created distance between me and my smartphone, I believed I didn’t exist as a good mother unless my motherhood was seen and celebrated.
While I’ll bet there are some very blessed souls who can parent sans electronic devices, for me, motherhood absent the internet would feel, well, disconnected. From week-by-week pregnancy apps (What vegetable is my baby this week?) to BabyCenter forums (Is my kid’s poop supposed to be this color?) and online registries (No, you definitely do not need a wipe warmer), if the tools we use online can subtract a little stress from the already complex equation of motherhood or at least make us feel less alone, they’re worth using.
