Dear Community of Veredas, Penjamo GTO,

I am writing to you in great pain. I know that what I will say will destroy your vision of “El Norte.” I know that every time you see me return you look at me and you see a successful girl. You see me in nice shoes, new clothes, enjoying my vacation. And this is something that you see in all the “norteños” who come to visit their families. But it is all a lie; it’s an illusion. You see that I am successful, but you have no idea how many sacrifices I’ve gone through to be able to go to college. To receive higher education, I’ve had to work two jobs while being a full-time student, sleeping four hours each night. You think I am enjoying my vacation but, every day that I am here, I am thinking of the living hell that will be waiting for me upon my return. Just like you, I came with the illusion that this country was the land of opportunities. I am telling you this because through my own eyes I’ve seen this illusion and I want you all to realize the lie behind the American dream, so that “you can no longer be lied to, [so] you [can] reject the Dream” (pg. 116)

I am one of the few people who has immigrated to this country and obtained a U.S citizenship. But a piece of paper stating my nationality to this country did not make me feel part of it. Instead, “It occurred to me that I was in someone else’s country and yet, in some necessary way, I was outside of their country” (Pg.124) My citizenship classifies me as a United States citizen, yet I am excluded based on my race.

During this past spring break, I got the opportunity to visit the U.S border. My university, Dominican University of California, scheduled a tour with border patrol where they give us their perspective on immigration issues. We asked them what the process was when someone was caught attempting to cross the U.S border. They said that they had to first point at them with their rifles and then nude them to make sure they weren’t carrying any weapons. The need to dehumanize my “paisanos” is disgusting. You and I know that we are not criminals who people should fear. On the contrary, we both know that when we see border patrol, our hearts stop beating. We freeze with fear. How could they think that we would hurt if all we risk our lives for safety? A safety that we can’t get in our country. We are running away from violence, but we run into the worst type of violence in the U.S dessert, we encounter death.

During my trip, I was able to walk near the U.S and Tijuana Border. There we found multiple gun shells left all over the dessert. The most painful moment was when we saw a blue and white striped sweater torn apart, with numerous gun shells surrounding it. It made us think of all those people who are hunting immigrants at the border whose only purpose is to kill the “intruders.” Not realizing that those who they call “intruders” are hardworking people who help fund government programs. What hurts most about this cruelty is that “the destroyers will rarely be held accountable. “Mostly they will receive pensions” (Pg. 9). The security pensions that U.S citizens get as part of their “service” to this county comes from the work and sweat of undocumented immigrants. Unfortunately, they are “those who lived in the dream, for whom the conversation [is] different. Ours [is] in men with guns who could only view us with the same contempt as the society that sent them” (Pg. 85). To them, we are objects that they call “illegal” who are unworthy of human rights.

One of the propaganda slogans used during this past election was to “Make America Great Again.” During my trip to the border, I was able to see the eight prototypes for the new wall that the U.S will construct next year. It’s evident the division that the border wall attempts to make. They have two borders separating Mexico, and the United States. Border patrol has no clue on what lies behind the Mexican border. All they want is to have a “white America [which] is a syndicate arrayed to protect its exclusive power to dominate and control our bodies” (Pg.42). The worst part of it all is that they hide behind a false mask. They insist that the wall is being made with “Good intentions”. [It is there excuse, their] hall pass through history, a sleeping pill that ensures the dream” (Pg. 27). They argue that it’s necessary to protect our country from smugglers and drug dealers. But if that is the case why would they incarcerate smugglers for one year at most. While undocumented immigrants who face a minimum of five years in prison if caught crossing the border?

Those who are fortunate enough to survive the deathly crossing of the U.S border only arrive to see the dream crushed in pieces. I understand that the majority of the time living on the ranch means poverty and starvation. There aren’t any job opportunities for you to get money, food, medical treatments or education. But coming here is even worst because you still don’t access to food, medical treatments or education yet you are living in a country who hates you for your race. The color of your skin disqualifies for a variety of jobs. Without a social security number, it is likely that you won’t get paid much. “It is common that “the little [that you can] make, [can] cover approximately two electric bills every year” (Pg. 86). You will work under very harsh conditions day and night, and you won’t even earn the minimum. There is nothing that protects you from the abuse of employers. They will use their power over you by saying “you don’t have a social security number. I can call “la migra” any time and they will kick you out.

Do not be fooled by the American Dream who promises you the opportunity to work hard and get money to sustain your family. It is a false advertisement; you are only cheap labor for them. Since you will most likely not get paid well by working in the fields, cook, dishwasher, janitor gardener you won’t have enough to rent a place never-the-less to pay for food. Although you help fund government programs, the programs exclude you. This semester I did my service at Canal Alliance, a non-profit whose goal is to serve the undocumented immigrant community by providing them with access to adequate and healthy food. I soon realized that more than four-thousand families depend on this program. I conducted some research, and there was an increase of food insecurity in undocumented immigrants after the enactment of the Welfare reform act of 1996 which restricted undocumented immigrants from accessing federal food programs based on their legal status. Consequently, by “reducing the participation in food stamps by 10 percent it increased household food insecurity by 5 percent” (Nord et al.). The worst of it all that “the abuses that have followed from these policies… are the product of democratic will” (Pg.79). The people of America, those who have a voice, decided to take away our voice, our rights. Luckily, some programs like Canal alliance see beyond a social security number and attempt to help. It is the only program that tries to alleviate the burden of food insecurity. It is the only place that we can feel safe and embrace our culture. But not all of America has these organizations. As soon as you arrive you will realize the hate that lies toward us, there will be no difference regarding starvation. You will still be hungry; the only difference is that you will be in a country who does not care to see you starve.

The county where I attend school, Marin County, was classified as a high performance and high disparity (Race Counts). This fact means that although our county has a variety of services and program, many of its members are suffering from poverty, homelessness and food insecurity. We live in a society where government programs and members of the community are continually excluding us. They have placed us in segregated classrooms, and they have discriminated us from their neighborhoods. That is when you realize you are not part of the American Dream. You will not come to America, get a job and potentially own a home. On the contrary, the members of the community push out of their neighborhoods. “You [become] powerless before the great crime of history that brought the ghettos to be” (Pg. 106) This is how the members of Marin County created “The Canal” a neighborhood whose is predominantly composed of Latino immigrants who society has labeled them as “illegal immigrants.” There is no way to counteract this reality. In this country your race excludes you. Even if you find a way to work multiple jobs to potentially own a home, when you say I want this house, but it’s a white neighbor hold there will be a consistent answer “I’m sorry, that house just sold yesterday.” Slowly “the realtors along with the community will steer [you] back toward ghetto block” (pg. 110).

I apologize for breaking your dreams. I am sure that you saw the United States as your salvation but in all honesty, it will lead to your destruction. America is not the land of opportunities. America is not the land of the free. America is not welcoming to all. You “cannot lean [on the] country for help…. The county [does what it knows] best-it forgets us.] The forgetting habit is yet another necessary component of the Dream. A dream that is only there to exclude us. There is no “if you work hard enough you will get educated, have a home and sustain your family.” My paisanos give it their all every single day and just like that the country turns its back on them. While I was at the U.S border, one of the border patrols got up and said that he was Mexican and that felt bad and understood “the struggle that [we] went through, but that securing our country with a wall was a necessary measurement.” After hearing that the patrol was Mexican many thought that he was empathetic. Well empathy is not enough. Empathy will not provide the kind of change that would arise [our] body to equality with your countrymen” (Pg. 96). Having empathy will not give us access to the American Dream, because the American does not exist for us. By our pure race, we are excluded from having the right to pursue life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. So please I beg of you do not risk your life for a country that does not want you. I am tired of seeing dead bodies on the border. I am tired of seeing how they humiliate and abuse of us in different jobs. I am tired that they segregate us to the outskirts of cities. I am tired that although we contribute to their economy, they are willing to see us starve. Whenever you see me back at the ranch, know that it is the only place that I feel at home. It is the only place that I can be free to embrace my culture, that it’s the only place that I can run free, it’s the only place that I know that even when they don’t have anything to eat they will offer the last thing they have. I love you all very much. I keep you all my prayers. Stay as one, work as one. I felt so proud when I stood on top of the hill and was able to see how colorful, live, and beautiful my Mexican side was, while the United States side seemed cold, lonely and dead just like the American Dream.