Personal Reflections from my Adventure into Working Life

From May 2016 to now, December 2016, I’ve been working full time as a Product Manager at a startup called Agora. It’s been a journey of a lifetime. This post is an exercise for me to reflect on my personal learnings of the past eight months — encapsulated in 7 lessons. These lessons are all a work in progress. They’re things I’ve realized I need to strive to implement in my life, but they are by no means mastered. In a way, they’re like my personal roadmap for this upcoming year.

Lesson 1: there’s no such thing as having my shit together 💩

People have this strange notion that there are two kinds of people in the world — those who are in control of their lives and those who aren’t. Strangely enough, most people believe that in comparison to everyone else, they are the ones not in control. They see others — people older, stronger, or more experienced perhaps. And they think, “Damn. If only I was as cool, smart and awesome as them. How amazing would it be if I had my shit together?”

At one point in time, I asked myself the same question. Then I realized that some people thought that I was the one with my shit together. HAHA! That one never fails to crack me up. So I started paying more attention to the people who I thought had their shit together. They had their own problems just like I did. Even though their problems seemed grander and bigger and better, they’re still problems. I realized that no matter how much I planned, things would never pan out as perfectly as I wanted them to. In the situations where I let my expectations exceed reality, I was always disappointed and left feeling out of control.

So what to do? Whether it’s tough or awkward conversations, figuring out the top priority of work or dealing with a medical issue, I had to be accepting of situations and be adaptable enough to take what I had in front of me and solve what I was facing. I don’t claim to be an expert on this, not at all. After all, I don’t have my shit together, and I can never be fully in control. And that’s okay. It was a strange truth to accept and wrap my head around. Doing so would get uncomfortable sometimes…

Lesson 2: being uncomfortable means I’m learning 💡

I had a check in with my CEO the second week of my full time experience. At that point, I felt like I was floating with a suddenly enormous/ambiguous workload, without my friends and the familiarity of my campus. That day, she told me something I’ll never forget. She said that being uncomfortable meant I was learning. She expected me to feel like this. If I didn’t feel uncomfortable at work every day, I was doing something wrong. I could push myself harder.

That’s when I discovered the comfort in being uncomfortable. From then on, I’d like to say I took discomfort in my stride and tried not to shy away from new tasks, events and things I was scared of. I learned a more fearless side of me, a side that’s still growing. Elenor Roosevelt once said — “Do one thing every day that scares you.” I try my best, but I still have a long way to go.

Lesson 3: keep my rocks close 🎈

It’s been absolutely amazing working full-time this semester, but it’s not been all flowers and helium balloons. As with any life transition, there were ups and downs. And sometimes, those downs hit hard. Those moments were where I truly realized the meaning of the relationships in my life.

My friends in school were, well, in school. I didn’t see them this semester half as much as I would have liked, and I found myself messing with logistics to see whether I could sneak a night or two on campus every now and then. Even though I wasn’t physically with them, though, I understood a simple truth. They were there for me, whether I asked them to be or not. They may not realize the impact it had — and they may not know how much their simple texts meant. But knowing they had my back was enough to keep me going.

My co-workers are among some of the most brilliant people in the world. I don’t know if I’ll ever find a team with quite the same personality, and I wouldn’t want to — nothing can really replace Team Agora. They too, silently became my rocks. When I felt lost in my new role and when I had health issues that needed appointments and recovery, the team was there to make me forget it all. While I worked at the office, I was just a problem solver, like all of them; working to build something brilliant from nothing at all.

I don’t exactly know how describe the support that my family provided me with during this time. When we say “family first,” we mean it. I think it’s safe to say that I would be utterly lost and alone without them. When I hung on to them, they never let go.

Lesson 4: stay excited to adventure on my own 🗺

While it was imperative that I kept close to the people in my life, I realized that there is a joy in exploring the world by myself. Simple moments, like walking through city streets, riding the train, and having a meal alone were things I hardly did in college.

I’m generally not a person who enjoys silence or isolation. I’m a fan of sound and music, social gatherings and lots of one on one hangouts. Life without people would be unimaginable. But somehow there’s this quiet clarity in being alone. It’s time where I can reflect and digest my experiences, instead of constantly reacting to the noisy inputs of life.

Being alone isn’t always easy. It’s frustrating at times. Sometimes, I found myself just wanting someone to hang out with. But being a solo explorer made me think differently and see the world in another light altogether. In my days and hours alone, I’ve learned a city inside and out, saw people of all shapes and sizes, had conversations with strangers, and learned more about who I am than ever before.

Lesson 5: the moment is better than the memory 📷

People have a fixation on capturing the moment instead of living it. I’m definitely guilty of that. I’m also guilty of wanting to post my life updates on social media — not only to share moments of my life with friends, but also to get validation from others. It’s a problem that many of us millennials face. “What will x think of me if I show them I did this super cool amazing thing?” That’s a question many of us have asked ourselves (even if we don’t want to admit it).

One of the biggest things I’ve learned in the past eight months is that the moment is better than the memory. I stopped capturing moments of my life — because taking out my phone ruined their magic. Instead, I just decided to enjoy it for what it was — a moment. I didn’t think about who would have thought what of me, and I certainly never documented the best of my moments on social media.

Because it’s simply impossible. The feeling of watching the city of Boston from the Longfellow Bridge on a warm fall evening with a thrill of progress in my heart could NEVER be captured with a picture. Trust me, I tried. I simply soaked it all in with a smile on my face, knowing that it was a secret with myself.

Lesson 6: it’s fun to fail 💯

Failure is part of life. I feel like I forgot that before I started working. I’ve always been hard on myself. That hasn’t changed. What has changed is my attitude toward criticism and what happens when I don’t meet my expectations. Instead of hating on myself, which used to be the de-facto way to deal with my failures, I embrace the criticism and learn from what the criticism tells me.

Feedback is an essential part of growth. I realize now that I’m someone who needs to have my work criticized. When I’m the only critic of my work, its quality goes way down. Sometimes, I need to be told that what I’m doing is crap or that my train of thought is out of whack. Even more important is finding out why my work is crap. When I find valid reasoning in how I can do something better, I push forward and fix it, doing even better next time.

At first, it’s tough not to take feedback personally. After all, especially when it comes to work — I put my heart and soul into it. Sometimes, harsh critiques of my work feel like a stab to me. But as I put in more effort and iterated with that feedback, I felt my work get better. The criticism is actually refreshing to hear. It makes me take a step back and see things differently — sometimes in a way that blows my mind. Now, when I hear someone tell me that my work is flawless, I realize they’re not doing me any favors.

Lesson 7: problems are awesome 🎉

Poor problems. They have a really bad reputation. People are always trying to get rid of them, thinking that they’re these evils things. At one point not too long ago, I wanted to get rid of all the problems in my life. Wouldn’t that be great? Well, let me ask this — what is life without problems? Isn’t everything we do just solving problems?

Being desperate to solve problems is the only way that things happen in this world. It’s the drive that makes the world go round. It’s the crux of entrepreneurship, of innovation, of change. A human being desperate to solve a problem is the most effective form of life there is. Because when you’ve hit that level of desperation, you have nothing to lose. People who step up and create brilliance in desperation truly make a difference. That’s who I aspire to be.

Bring on the problems, 2017. I can’t wait to see what you have in store for me.

Till next time,

~Saalik