These are all the marks that a girl needs to hit to make sure she’s keeping that guy she’s dating interested.

1. You have to like the music that he thinks is “good”.

Incorrect. You like the music that you think is good and that’s that. Don’t go learn that song that he posted the lyrics from last night on Twitter and act like you’ve liked the band for years.

2. You’ve got to be girly and wear cute clothes but not wear too much makeup, because, gosh, why can’t you be natural and just be yourself?

No. You wear whatever the fu*k you feel like wearing that day. Do you feel like looking like a girl who just walked out of a modeling gig? Then cool! Do you feel like a hoodie and leggings kinda day? That’s sexy as hell too.

3. You have to be in such bomb ass shape because with all these fitness girls posting insta pics out there, how can you compete?

Wait, we all could benefit from being healthier, honestly...but don’t do it for a guy, do it for you.

4. You have to care enough about him to be jealous because it’s cute, but not so jealous because he’ll think you're crazy.

Um… guys are gonna think girls are crazy regardless so this is just stupid. Care whatever amount you actually care, and if he has a problem with it, move the hell on; you guys probably shouldn’t be dating.

5. He wants you to check in on him to show that you’re “bae” and you care but not so much that you’re clingy.

Do you feel like checking in on him? I know I don’t ever feel like it, but then the guy doesn’t think I’m girlfriend material. Well, nothing you can do there, but if you are clingy, then yes, you need to chill out. But no one’s perfect.

6. You have to have all your shit together but it’s cool if they don’t just yet.

Dear guys, don’t dump a girl because she still lives at home if your only accomplishment thus far is graduating high school. You’re now 25, not attending school, and your hobbies include wasting the day playing video games before work.

7. You have to always look your bomb-est so they can be proud to show you off, but you can’t take too long getting ready.

Look how you want to look. He should think you’re beautiful regardless. You’re not dressing for his friends’ attention, and if you are, you’d be an attention whore. I don’ t think he’d want that. Be clean, comfortable, and put together; that’s all that matters.

8. You have to be mysterious and keep them wanting more, yet available enough that when it comes to it, you’re “down” for anything.

Girls, don’t plan how to be mysterious. You should have left any and all mind games back in high school. If you cannot see the guy you’re dating one night when he asks to hangout, it should be because you’re busy with other priorities, not because you’re playing hard to get. If you don’t want to go to his friends house again for cheap beer and a bad music playlist, don’t go. Don’t do things you don’t want to do just so he’ll think you’re laid back.

9. You can’t get worried when he checks out another girl because you’re obviously showing that you don’t have confidence and that’s not sexy.

Girls get worried. It’s natural. Especially early in a relationship, before you’re secure in your feelings for each other. This doesn’t mean you’re not confident. It means you like a guy and he just stared a little too long at Bootie McGee over there and now you’re contemplating if you didn’t look as good in those yoga pants as you thought you did.

10. Always tell a guy what you want to do on a date. He can’t read your mind.

Wrong. Guys need to make an effing plan once in a while and court their ladies like real men. Guys, stop blaming girls for not knowing what they want and then accusing them of being boring when the date was mediocre because when you picked her up, dear Lord I hope he picked you up, you asked “So what do you wanna do?” How about the guy plans one date and the girl plans the next? That way both sides get a taste of each other’s ideas of a good time.

This is the advice I give to all my girlfriends having these problems.

“Don’t give too much of a shit. Don’t over think. When guys have plans to hangout, then hangout, and have a fun ass time. If he doesn’t text you for a week, don’t stress… maybe he’s busy, or just not feeling you that week and needs his “me” time. Give it to him. If he doesn’t text you ever, then he’s not interested and you’re not dating anymore so move on. Feel like being flirty? Do it! Flirt. Don’t feel like being flirty? Then don’t. Feel like texting him first? That’s cool. The main key though: just take it day by day and be yourself.”