

“Top Gear” gang’s last season with the show is a HOOT
Story By Edward Venegas
When fans think about the “original” “Top Gear” — in other words, the U.K. version — they picture three middle-aged men driving around in anything from eco-friendly, to exotic hyper-cars at ridiculous speeds while bantering with one another about who has the better of what.
True fans, such as myself, will also paint a woefully lackluster image of the early seasons of “Top Gear” that were immersed in credible, yet sleep-inducing, consumerism. These episodes are filled with dialog so monotonous that I continue to use it as a sleep aid to this day.
In 13 years, however, “Top Gear” managed to blossom from a boring “pokey motoring show” into an international television sensation as it manages to capture 350 million viewers in over 200 countries a week.
Season 22 — “the last season,” as I now refer to it — successfully continued the magical irreverence as it opened smeared in controversy with the two-part “Patagonia Special.”
In these episodes, Jeremy Clarkson, James May, and Richard Hammond drive a Porsche 928 GT, Lotus Esprit V8, and a 1971 Ford Mustang Mach 1 (respectively) in a challenge to drive 1,600 miles through multiple terrains in Argentina to reach Ushuaia, in Tierra del Fuego, the southernmost city in the world.
True to form, Clarkson’s provocative mind figured it would be a good idea that his Porsche’s license plates read “H982 FKL.” This proved to stand as an awful, yet brilliantly entertaining, idea since many Argentinians took great offense to Clarkson’s apathetic move as they perceive it to be a deliberate reference to the British and Argentinian war over the Falkland Islands of 1982; a war that ended after 74 days with the Argentine surrender on June 14.
Inevitably, negotiations between the “Top Gear” producers and the leaders of the protesters fail spectacularly, and the crew is given an unreasonable three hours to leave the whole country of Argentina and never return. Even though the crew never reach the southernmost city of the world in their beautiful V8 cars, the two part special is still by far joyfully entertaining and worth watching.
“Special” episodes aside, season 22 continues to delight viewers around the world with beautifully portrayed irreverent automotive hooliganism's. In particular, in episode three, Clarkson, May, and Hammond are challenged to create the perfect ambulance.
In a hilarious display of cartoon-ish incompetence, Clarkson decides that a Porsche 944 Turbo will be an excellent alternative to the current establishment of ambulances. Equally comical, if not foreboding, May chooses to use a Ford Scorpio hearse to transport people to a hospital. Hammond, rather boringly, selects a Chevy G20 V8 Van with only his personality and outlandishly enormous grin to make up for his unexciting choice.
The episode results with Hammond getting sprayed with synthetic urine, Clarkson gagging as he nearly orally copulated a mannequin’s penis in the back of his Porsche, and May laughing his ass off in the process.
Season 22 of the BBC’s “Top Gear” will forever be remembered as the one that marked the sudden and unexpected end to its ties with Clarkson, May, and Hammond.
Despite the Clarkson “fracas,” I’m glad to see that, in the “final season” of “Top Gear,” the guys never lost sight of one fundamental truth: ungracefully carrying out challenges while blowing shit up makes for entertaining television.