Mirror Mirror..

Who is the fairest of them all…

In my last message to you I suggested you make a list of everything you are grateful for yourself for — I hope by now you found a few minutes to do this.

In fact I do this every single day. I have a Life Book, that is my Blueprint where I add in every day what I am grateful for myself for on the left side of the page and what I am grateful for outside of me on the right side. I make sure that I equally fill the page on both sides — each day building on my level of self worth — consistency being key.

This is only one of many techniques to build your self worth. I teach many unique methods in The MASTERY TechniqueTM program at my SACRED Leadership Academy.

I would love to share with you another technique which is something I learned to do as a young child and has stuck with me all through my life — apart from a period of a few years…..

But first we need to go back a few years….

In April 1999 I woke up from a coma after taking my 10th or 11th drug overdose in hospital, and as the memories flooded back into my mind of me taking this overdose standing in front of the mirror in my bathroom at home, my whole body wanting to reject every handful of pills I was chucking down my throat — I wondered why — when every other time my body embraced the thought of the inevitable oblivion that would come from the drugs slipping down my throat.

Why this time did my body try and reject the pills. I recalled how difficult it was to keep them down — the same bunch of 180 -200 pills made up of Rohypnols, Xenon and Valium.

I fell into a deep sleep again and woke up some hours or days later — I have no idea as ICU rooms tend to be dimly lit with no clocks or windows. I woke up with clarity, like a load had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt light with an ability to breath freely for the first time in so many years.

It had dawned on me as I woke up that second time, what was missing in my life, why I was so tortured to the point of self destruction, despite the apparent perfection of my life. The fantastic career, great money, superb flashy car, tons of friends, fantastic hobbies and sporting activities like Paragliding, Sailing, Waterskiing, Scuba Diving and much more, a phenomenal social life and action packed diary — from the outside my life was an enviable thriving existence.

Except from the inside — it was HELL. It was empty, lonely, devoid of depth and meaning. I was missing something desperately but I just could not put my finger on it. I tortured myself with guilt for being so pathetic, spiralling myself even further down the warren.

How can I be so unhappy, when only a few years before, my life was one of terror, beatings, rape, isolation, and bare existence living on only the very basics, no money, no heating, resorting at times to eating dog food — imprisoned by my father as I had been for many many years. Until I finally escaped in the middle of the night.

From escaping from my father in Ireland that night only a few years before to waking up in ICU after the 10th or 11th overdose had been one exciting journey of discovery and experiences as I learned to socialise and catch up on lost time in life with many great achievements.

The two worlds could not have been more opposite. But you will be shocked now when I tell you that in the years of my isolation and imprisonment, I had more inner peace, self love, self belief and self worth than I found myself having during the years of my freedom where my life was to all appearances — perfect.

In my efforts to be accepted and to be one of the many I lost touch with one simple but crucial element — myself!

I had come to essentially despise myself, always criticising myself, judging myself against others. I stopped listening to myself, stopped being authentic to myself — I forgot who I was. I lost touch with my passions and talents. My true goals, dreams and desires became buried in the flurry and immediate importance of being ‘accepted’ by society.

As a child I had a simple ritual, that despite being in ‘Hell’ on the outside I was in Heaven on this inside.

However during those years of trying to be accepted by society — I was in Heaven on the outside and Hell on the inside.

The technique —

Was simple….

But SO powerful..

I would connect with myself looking into a mirror — looking beyond my physical body. Deep into my soul. I didn’t call it my soul at the time — I called it my ‘something’ — I just intuitively knew it was the umbilical chord to my inner power — my higher self.

Looking into the heart of me, with no judgement and just listening to my inner voice strengthen and empower me.

There was no negative back talk, no ego minimising me — just inspiring, enlightening and empowering connection with my authentic self.

It is the single reason why during the years of imprisonment, beatings, rapes and torture — my spirit was never broken. Instead I grew stronger, more determined, more focused — until I eventually broke the mortal emotional bond — and escaped.

And when I did — I knew there was NOTHING I could not do or achieve. Which is exactly what I did over the next few years — but with the one mistake — I lost contact with my authentic self with serious consequences — but fortunately I realised it before it was too late and since then I have lived connected with myself, growing my self love and appreciation AND with a knowing that there is NOTHING I cannot do or achieve.

What a gift to be able to live that way — is that how you live your life?

Do an exercise — take a few minutes each day and look into the mirror — look into your eyes — beyond your eyes — and say those things you have written down that you are grateful for yourself for. Listen to the inner voice — what comes back? Are they messages of support, empowering you? or are they message from your ego — with negative back chat?

This is the quickest way you will find out what your thoughts are really telling you…

Remember — it has LONG been accepted that your thoughts create your reality. If you are in any doubt about this read Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill or listen to The Strangest Secret by Earl Nightingale.

In my next message to you, I will chat to you about that mortal emotional bond that held me back from breaking free — and it is the same bonds that I am pretty sure hold you back from accessing and releasing your phenomenal power within — which will affect the level of self worth you have.

Remember — your level of self worth is directly determines your level of net worth — with no exceptions.

Live with Power, Inspiration and Enthusiasm.

Love and Gratitude,

Judy

ps — Download a free copy of my bestselling book “Against the Grain” I co-wrote with Brian Tracy on www.judyvanniekerk.com follow me on twitter on @judyvanniekerk