SAG 2021 — Week 12 Report
This week has been Thanksgiving week over in the grand old US of A. The concept and tradition of Thanksgiving isn’t something that we Australians can readily relate to — I thought that it was a concerted effort to keep local turkey populations in check after the summer breeding frenzy and a way to turn all the Halloween pumpkin into a delicious dessert treat. But in the spirit of inclusivity and extending an open hand of understanding to our pan-pacific neighbors, the office of the commissioner has been flogging its indentured servants as they pour over the appropriate research texts to uncover the true meaning of this holiday. We turn now to the holy scripture of Wikipedia to fill in the blanks.
Thanksgiving was a tradition brought to America via its early pilgrim settlers. This celebration day is rooted in English traditions dating back to the 16th century, in which days were set aside to give thanks, offer prayers, and bless the previous seasons harvest. An interesting factoid is in that in England before 1536 there were 95 Church holidays, plus 52 Sundays, when people were required to attend church and forego work. This is evidence that the church was at one time progressive in its attitudes towards modern worker’s rights and may be the initial instigators of the 4-day work week. This timetable is also eerily like my first-year university schedule where various pubs were my ‘church’. There was much attending along with much foregoing of work.
Fast forward to the 1620’s and 1630’s, and Pilgrims and Puritans settlers from England brought these traditions of Thanksgiving celebrations to the New World. The ‘First Thanksgiving’ was said to have taken place in 1621 in Plymouth, Massachusetts, when the Pilgrims sat down to celebrate an especially bountiful harvest alongside some Wampanoags native Americans, who had helped the Plymouth pilgrims through a severe food shortage the winter prior. Debate exists around the providence of this ‘First Thanksgiving’ and a few other feasts of that time also lay claim to the title, a point of which is still quite contentious with Virginians who staunchly believe that their native state was indeed the first to host these celebrations. What is for sure, is that the first true National Day of Thanksgiving was proclaimed by the freshly minted President Geroge Washington on November 26, 1789. The proclamation marked this day “as a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favours of Almighty God”.
So where does Abraham Lincoln fit into this story? In my own down-under ignorance, I thought he had a role to play in nearly all great tales of American history, and I went to Washington one time and his statue is magnificent in person. Fear not fellow history buff, as the modern celebration of Thanksgiving was indeed another glorious idea from the grey matter of Honest Abe. Sort of. In fact, Sarah Josepha Hale petitioned politicians and government officials for 40 years in an effort to have an official day recognized. Abe eventual caved to her turkey-loving ways and in 1863, proclaimed that the final Thursday in November be officially marked as a national holiday. I’d say Sarah would have polished off a few brandies after this news came out, but then I’d again be wrong as due to the ongoing civil war at the time, nation-wide observance wasn’t seen until 1870. It does make me wonder how many other innovative ideas of Abe’s he pinched off other people that had taken up the quill and got something to filter though into his correspondence tray. I’d get the slaves at SAG HQ to research this for me, but I don’t want them getting any fanciful ideas reading some of his wider works.
Now that the holiday origin story is clearer, I’d like to take the opportunity to share what the Office of the Commissioner is thankful for this year. In no particular order:
- I am thankful for the irony that the Fantasy Gods possess in the fortune they have bestowed upon the Bandits after the hubris displayed in stockpiling so much cash.
- I am thankful for the OG GM Mr Brad Low returning to the SAG after what is not his first and surely not his last league hiatus.
- I am thankful for the Australian timezone, and perfect Monday morning distraction that is NFL Redzone.
- I am thankful for Express VPN and its power to enable dirt cheap purchasing of said NFL Redzone.
- I am thankful for Tuesdays, when I sequester myself at my desk and spend a glorious few hours buried in SAG stats, NFL tidbits and reviewing the past week’s WhatsApp thread to compile these reports for the growing legions of SAGgers.
Now to the recaps.
Channel4 lost to TacoCorp
Lopsided is the theme of this game. TacoCorp put up the ideal fantasy week — great consistent contributions from the whole list with a standout performance to spice the punch. Lenny was sensational for Tompa Bay, ending up in the end zone 4 times and showed some promising form heading into the late season where he has prior form in bullying tired defenses for big games. On the other side of the ledger, Channel4 stunk it up big time posting double figures for the first time this season. Only Dak, Thielen and a slowly improving Gallup were serviceable and there are some concerned heads at News Team HQ as they are still yet to lock in a Wildcard Weekend ticket.
Rubbers lost to Patches
The Bendigo based franchise nearly doubled their output from last week, but that still wasn’t enough to notch up a win. Not that another W is on the radar of the Rubbers as the roster fire sale continues. Those at the bottom half of the ladder will be a bit concerned with the effectiveness of this cobbled together team in putting up points — the burgers don’t look so safe anymore. Patches got out the green ink on their calendar to confirm an already penciled in victory. Very solid outing and the feedback is filtering out of Albert Park that a there’s a bit of head wobble developing. Bayside teams are looking particularly strong at this juncture of the season.
Cainers lost to Bandits
The WhatsApp thread is the real report on this game. Cocainers are most likely unsure of the current weekday with the team being long on tiny children at the present and they may or may not have been dialed in for this one. Bandits on the other hand squeaked over the line with what I think was the second last play of the week, with Russ getting the go-ahead TD for the Tassie team. It's not all beer and skittles though as there are concerns with the most expensive roster in the league and the log jam of five teams on five or six wins is becoming a real factor. One of these five will miss wildcard weekend and this one play result may heavily influence the outcome.
Gypos lost to JABs
Closer than expected, but in a results-based industry, the JABs keep on keeping on while the Gypsies still cling to the fact that not being in the Leonard Royale is in their own hands. JABs will be hoping this is the down week from which they can build a storming, non-asterisks run to another jacket. Any data set of significant population will see the odd outlier and no doubt this low-ish score will get classified that way in the JAB model. Gypos will be scheming and plotting and generally up to his usual slippery ways in developing a dastardly plan to get out of the Leonard calculations in the final 2 weeks.
Big, big, BIG couple of weeks for SAG coming up. I’m getting excited.
1st and 10,
Commish Clue.
