SAG 2021 — Week 9 Report
It was only a few weeks ago that we sat back and reminisced fondly on the fun and shenanigans of SAG seasons past and the monumental events and fashion statements that have shaped them. There were probably a few forgettable moments amongst them that in hindsight we would have acted differently. Would the offenders have taken them back? Probably not. But if the time was offered to them again, they may tweak a few behaviors around the edges. None were deemed worthy of dismissal from the ranks of SAG (although Selly did lose the Leonard jacket and hasn’t been seen since, so I may be wrong here).
What is categorical though, is that none of us decided to drive a late model Jaguar sedan through the streets of Hawthorn afterwards. Good to see that SAG GM’s have more common sense than our elected officials. More signs that the benevolent dictatorship of SAG is the most adept form of government (JAB will re-lecture me on causation and correlation but the threads are mine to weave into this fabulous cloak of self-indulgence).
Week 9 is in the books and the boffins have been double vaxxed and allowed into the SAG LAB+ to look at how the stats are travelling. The slide rulers, pocket protractors and abaci have been furiously tabulating the data and whiteboards have been filled with theorem and hypotheses. After countless hours of head scratching and hair pulling, a secretary through the weeks scores into the spreadsheet from last time and copied a few formulas across, promptly igniting a review of the data science division of the Commissioner’s Office and resulting in several nerd types getting fired.
So, how's everything tracking? Most consistent — C4NT. Daylight to second place here as the News Team has been the most consistent in output scores so far. No point being consistent when you’re only 5th in average score though. The battle for least consistent though is getting exciting. With the Cainer’s week on week growth early in the year more resembling a $GME run, there were some heady numbers posted. But you can never leave a good Bradlow out of the conversation, and when the subject is randomness and high volatility, then if you’re gonna come at the king you better make your shot count. TacoCorp has now managed to post a high/low spread of greater than 100 points in his weekly totals and is now the least consistent team. Art imitating life is truly a blessing.
Work is still ongoing into refining the trend metric. Some back testing has changed the initial formula and the story seems to now be matching the data. It’s likely to be proven completely wrong when opened for peer review, so let's make hay while the sun shines. JABs with their hot last month is way out in front on the trend thermometer, with Cainers the only other team in the positive territory for the season. The ridiculous rocket ship ride of week-to-week scoring is still helping prop up this metric so turning to the four-week rolling average and the tale of the tape is vastly different. Bye weeks and injuries are really biting hard on league scores and the whole league is subzero on the 4-Week Rolling Official Trend Temp (4WROTT). Just when you didn’t think the Rubbers annus horribilis couldn’t get any worse, the team is currently stone cold bottom of the 4WROTT chart. Flies would complain about how bad the stench is on this team right now.
In the final statistical insight before we dive into the game recaps, everyone’s favorite metric, the JAB’s Alternative Play Everyone Ladder (JAPEL) is back! First is the cumulative wins of each team if they were to play everyone else each week:
A top four, a middle three, and a relegation target clear on display. Now let's turn to the ladder snake:
What do we now know? Django is getting screwed by the head to head deities; Gypsies, C4NT and TacoCorp have wasted promising starts; JABs are on fire…and after all that analysis it feels like we knew all this already.
Onto the recaps.
Channel4 defeated Co-Cainers
Much like the NFL itself this week, a stunning upset. And the only difference was one man — Mr. James Conner. The Cards can do no wrong right now, even without Kyler Murray under center and AJ Green tripping up with a case of the spicy cough, the offense was going to get a test against the Niners. Rolling for a King Henry-like 37 points was a massive return for the one-time Pittsburgh RB1. So the Cainer Coaster continues its up and down ride to the finals in the back half of the season and the NewsTeam slips into the top 4.
The JABs defeated Rubbers
Consolation for the Rubbers — they can hold their head up that they were only the 3rd lowest scoring team this week. Plus, they scored more than the Gypsies which is personally a pleasing outcome for the Bendigo team. However, they got well and truly smacked by a rampaging JABs outfit. JT run up 30+ on Thursday night and then Lamar punched out 30+ in the early window and the cue was in the rack from there. The Asterisk Assault keeps on gaining momentum.
Bandits defeated Gypsies
For the second week in a row, something has gone awry with the Bandits. Not only is he content to let his own team fall to the wayside, but he’s also intent on bringing his opponents down to his level. Two weeks in a row with game totals that have been less than single team scoring high water marks and the Bandits are the common denominator. Something is beginning to stink. With scores this low I’m not even going to comment on individual performances because to call either of these two teams’ display a performance makes me feel dirty and unclean.
Patches defeated TacoCorp
And the lowest score of the season goes to … drum roll please… TACOCORP! The Tyreek/Mahomes stack had a shocker and to be honest, it’d be hard to try and score this low. One strength that TacoCorp shares with elite QB’s however is the ability to forget and get on with the next play. He’ll put a line through this and be back. On the Patches side, a 130 total is healthy and respectable. Dig a bit deeper and when 60 of the 130 are coming from two players, concerns are raised. The Mike White experiment is over and TB12 rolls back into town next week so not throwing the baby out with the bath water is a sound strategy for the Average Joes.
Looking forward to week 10 as we round the corner into the run to finals.
3rd and long,
Commish Clue.
