I really don’t know what this is

But if you ask me I’ll probably say this was a random essay written at a cafe by the sea, in the company of some indulgent mint choc chip cake. My husband wrote some of it. Then I wrote some of it. And then he wrote some more…so I wrote some more. Pure collaborative nonsense.

On a dark, stormy night, he whispered in her ear, ‘Walk with me’. And she did. Willingly and unwittingly, mesmerised by his dark eyes and haunting aura. There was something about the way he looked at her, like he knew her terrible dark secret. The one she’d been hiding for the past eighteen years. A secret so disgusting, it’d make her nauseous thinking about it. But in his presence, his dirty grimy personality made her secret seem not so bad.

He pulled her into an alleyway. Her eyes were drawn towards a faded poster above the trashcan that read “All men come from heaven, some rot in hell”. All of a sudden, he pushed her against the wall and snarled. The air around them crackled.

And he said in a voice devoid of emotion that made her think of dead things under dark swamps. He said, ‘You ate my cake.’

She looked at him and realize he’d known her secret all along. This entire day had been a ruse, the sweet things he’d said, the dinner he’d paid for. It was all for this one singular moment in time where he laid her soul bare.

He leaned in closer. His breath was moist and smelled of dead children. ‘It was fudge cake. With a cherry on top.’

She was suddenly aware that his fly was open. Momentarily distracted, she let her mind wander to faraway fields where birds sang and the twilight and dawn danced eternally to Michael Jackson songs.

And there, in the middle of the field, HE stood. HIS Harley Davidson parked carelessly. HE seemed annoyed. Was that a fly HE was shooing away? Oh…HIS fly was open too. That was strange. The Grim Reaper beckoned her to HIM. “Did you take the cake, and eat it too?”

She nodded solemnly.

“I’ve trained you so well, haven’t I? Anger needs to be taught a lesson. I’ve had to deal with too many nuisances because of that fool.” She couldn’t help but feel a longing pang. Lust had it coming. She wondered if he could perform the deed. To do a deal with Death HIMSELF would be….interesting, to say the least.

And then… she was back in front of that scarred, haunted face.

‘Where did you go?’ the man said angrily. He pinched her. ‘Are you still dreaming?’. The woman jerked, coming out of her reverie. She took a deep breath and looked the man in the eye. ‘There’s something I have to tell you. Something you should know.’

The man spat in her face. ‘Nothing you say will bring it back. Do you understand? NOTHING. I hate you. With all my blackened heart. You set me on the path of evil. Of retribution. It all began that day. When I met you.’

The woman bowed her head. ‘Let me show you. You can eat me afterwards. I deserve it.’

The man’s eyes were lit with murderous lust. ‘I will.’ He let her go. ‘Lead the way.’

There were some things you just don’t do. And there were some things that are worth blurring the line between good and right.

A short train ride later the woman unlocked a locker at the station. The door whined as if it hadn’t been opened in a long time. ‘There,’ She said simply.

The man stared inside the locker. He blinked. His skinny frame sagged as if the little bit of life in him ignited like the most fragile of flames. After a long time he turned to her. She was crying.

‘You didn’t even take a bite? The cherry… it’s still there. I don’t understand.’ A tear welled up in his eye. The tear was golden and soft, full of rainbows. ‘After all this time?’ he asked.

She looked inside the locker and seemed to steady herself. ‘Always.’