Born Again
Jesse arrived at the chapel late again. Half rubbing his temples, half shielding his eyes from the harsh sunlight, he hunched his shoulders against the buffeting wind and hurried to the front entrance. Inside, the light would be less harsh, and the air circulated by the slow-moving ceiling fans would be less assaulting. It had been a late night, and this would be a long service.
He shouldered the glass doors open and slipped inside. He just wanted to make it to Sunday School before Bishop Hale caught sight of him. He doubted he’d be so lucky.
Sure enough, the little man was in the foyer chatting with a member of the congregation. He stood in a power stance, his feet about shoulder width and his arms folded. When he spotted Jesse he touched the other man’s arm and said, “excuse me, Brother Davis,” then moved to intercept the young man. He waited until Jesse acknowledged him, then looked at his watch a little too pointedly.
“I thought we agreed you would be on time for service.”
Nope, just your decree. Jesse thought. Out loud he said, “Sorry.”
“That’s alright, son.” Bishop extended his hand to grip Jesse’s firmly. “I’m just glad your conscience still works to get you here at all!” he grinned. Jesse stiffened. Still grasping Jesse’s hand, he guided him down the hall. His arm found its way around Jesse’s shoulder in a patronizingly patriarchal fashion. Jesse was taller than Bishop, so he was forced to slouch a little to accommodate the position. “Let’s chat in my office for a moment.”
The office was a small room, about 10 square feet with a large desk dividing it in half. Bishop deposited him on a chair opposite the desk and opened a drawer to withdraw a paisley-patterned necktie. “Here,” he said, looping it around the collar of Jesse’s white button-up.
“I keep a couple extra on hand for the young men who forget to look their best for the Lord.” He chuckled, but it didn’t take the edge off his words. Twisting the fabric, he began to tie it. “How’ve you been Jesse?” Bishop said, finishing with the necktie and perching on the side of the desk.
Jesse shrugged. He resisted the urge to immediately loosen the tie a bit so he could breathe. He hated ties. They suffocated him.
Bishop shook his head ever so slightly. “I gotta tell you, Jesse. It’s not just that you’re consistently late that concerns me. You’re missing the kind of energy I like to see from my young adult members. You look…” he trailed off, spreading his hands, “tired.”
“Yeah, I’ve been stretched a little thin.” That was an understatement. He’d been spending most nights at Jordan’s. They played almost as hard as they studied. Jordan didn’t understand the obligation Jesse felt to continue attending service every Sunday. Jordan didn’t understand the guilt that drove him.
“Listen, I’ve been prayerfully considering your situation.” He paused to let that sink in. “I want to share with you some thoughts about repentance.” Jesse slipped his fingers behind the fabric knot and loosened it just a hair. It still felt like he was suffocating.
“Repentance,” Hale continued, “is translated in the bible from a Greek word that denotes a changing of one’s mind. When John the Baptist was ministering, he baptized his disciples unto repentance. Baptism is an ordinance that represents birth. Therefore, Baptism unto repentance means being born again in the new, or changed mindset.” He spoke without pausing for breath; it was unnatural. Maybe he didn’t need to breathe. That’s probably why he could stand to wear a tie all day, restricting life-giving air. The thought made Jesse smile.
“Ah, I see you understand,” Bishop said, the corners of his own mouth tugging to form a smile. Silence stretched while Bishop just looked at Jesse. “You do understand?” After a few seconds, the young man nodded once. Bishop Hale exhaled through pursed lips.
“I tell you the Greek meaning of the word because it’s this changing one’s mind that holds the power of rebirth. Simply changing one’s actions is not freeing. In fact, I would call it bondage to be living contrary to one’s beliefs. I tell you, true repentance is freeing because it means you change your very thoughts and desires. If you change your nature and your actions will follow.”
“I’ve never had it explained that way before,” Jesse said. He absently slipped his fingers again under the knot at his throat and slid it down a bit more. It felt good to breathe freely.
“The feelings you are experiencing are the symptoms of sin and the prescription is repentance!”
Jesse heard with half an ear. Maybe he did need to change something. He felt like he was trying to straddle the divide between two worlds. “Thanks Bishop,” he said, standing up from his chair. “I’ve been struggling to make a decision, and that helps.” Hale beamed, shaking his hand firmly.
Jesse left the confining office and headed back down the hall to the foyer. Then he crossed the open space to the exterior door, working at the necktie until the loop was long and loose. He pulled the thing off and tossed it over his shoulder, tugging at the door and stepping outside. Glancing back, he chuckled to note the necktie caught on the slow-moving ceiling fan.
Head clear, Jesse left the chapel early.
