Are Your Health Goals Inhibiting Your Long-Term Wellness?
Learning how to increase dopamine reactions made me revise my long-term health goals.
We are three (almost four) months away from the New Year and three months away from resolutions we habitually set in January. As a result, unmet health and wellness goals are a running joke at the end of each year, like when Michael Scott flosses his teeth at 11:59pm on December 31st to meet his New Year resolution. Blood everywhere, he says.
Not everyone is Michael Scott. Or, more accurately, they are Michael Scott, but when he runs a 5k to raise awareness about rabies. Dehydrated, lying face down in their own vomit. No? Sorry.
Anyway, what can we learn from accomplishing goals? Not only New Years’ Resolutions but further down the line, in a completely different mindset than ‘I need to really make these next 12 months count’. For example, what happens after you run the marathon or lose weight?
When I was fifteen, I was a tad overweight. Unfortunately, I grew up in a household of chronic dieters. My parents witnessed my weight gain as my hormones surged and my body couldn’t decide where to hold onto extra pounds. They wanted to help. So they decided the entire household would go on a strict low-carb diet.
I quickly became too thin because I was fifteen, and for my height, not carrying as much extra weight as I felt I was. I remember getting on the scale and celebrating losing seven pounds in one week. It was almost effortless. I carried myself confidently, my shoulders relaxed down my back, my heart open to the world.
The boys who teased me for my body and acne wanted my phone number. Girlfriends became enemies. Losing weight in high school was difficult. My identity as Funny Fat Friend was stripped, leaving a shy, awkward, fifteen-year-old girl in its place. It was difficult for my peers to decide who I was without my extra pounds and what label I deserved. I didn’t know, either. I was more confident in my appearance, but I felt too raw to the world around me without the shield of my body.
I thought losing weight would give me a new lease on life, the happiness I hadn’t yet known. But, without my body protecting me from people getting too close, I began to fall into a different trap. I wished to be so thin I could disappear.
I cut out carbs. All of them. I ate protein bars and protein shakes. I ate half a can of tuna because I was elated to know it was only 50 calories instead of 100. I liked going to bed hungry, feeling the emptiness in my abdomen and the yearning for food as it moaned and growled. Soon, I began dancing for hours a day. Each night I used the elliptical in our basement to evade the kitchen. The goal was to exhaust myself enough that I would collapse in bed, eager to wake up and eat my morning water and protein powder smoothie.
My only friend was loneliness, and our favorite hobby was to avoid eating.
For years I would fight my hunger. I would hate myself as I stuffed fistfuls of cereal in my mouth, trying to understand why my willpower was failing me when it had once been so strong.
My lifestyle was not sustainable. Even though I was hitting goals on the scale, the impact was fleeting and useless.
I had exhausted the list of things I could deprive myself of. I remember sitting at the kitchen counter, trying to see what else I could cut out. There was nothing else to subtract from my diet or add to my workout routine. I felt hopeless. My goals were obtainable for short, fleeting minutes.
Even though this version of myself is fifteen years behind me, a version of her exists today. Every time I set a goal like weight lift 4 times a week, cut sugar for 30 days, write ten articles a week, hike every Sunday, I know when the goal is marked off as done, the feeling of triumph is short-lived.
How can we make the impact of our goals last?
A goal is usually something we set that has an end date. So if we decide to train for and run a marathon, we see a day when it will be over. Therefore, the euphoric feeling of accomplishment has an expiration date. That’s ok. Our emotions are fleeting, but that does not mean we should avoid setting goals.
We are goal-oriented because of the genuine chemical reaction in our bodies when we achieve something. Dopamine. Dopamine is to thank for feelings of euphoria when we reach a goal or complete a task. And did you know that you can get a dopamine reaction in other ways?
Self-Care:
Dopamine reactions happen when you do self-care. This looks different for everyone. For example, I get a dopamine reaction after a 90-minute massage at a good spa. Oh my goodness. Everything from the fluffy white robes to the mint tea, I love the spa. Endorphins are released through physical touch, and then there is the dopamine reaction from feeling connected to your body. I love it. It’s a rare occasion, but it’s just as rare as hitting a weightless goal and is generally much more fun.
Good Food:
You can get a dopamine hit from eating good food. For me, that’s watermelon and pineapple off the grill. It’s crudite with tzatziki and some bubbly wine. Sometimes it’s a burger and french fries or pizza in Naples. Oh my god. Pizza in Naples. *drool emoji*
Good Sleep:
You can also get dopamine from a great night of sleep. Black-out curtains sleep with a noise machine, a low temperature, and lavender spray on your pillow. The key to a restful night’s sleep is to wake up refreshed and not groggy. Learning your sleep patterns, which might mean carefully tracking the cycle and the moon to see how it affects your sleep routine, can help you develop the right sleep formula for each phase of your cycle. Being in the ‘know’ with your body is a form of long-term self-care that will ensure a steady dopamine reaction across your lifetime.
Celebrating:
Finally, celebrating your wins will release a dopamine hit. Unfortunately, I am the worst at celebrating myself. I am at the end of twenty-nine, and it is occurring to me how many wins I’ve brushed under the rug like they didn’t matter. I am unsure how to celebrate myself and my accomplishments for the most part. Still, I know I lack the proper chemical reactions that should follow my successes. The result of this loss of dopamine is depression. I’ve found myself not trying as hard in some ways, not believing in myself in others, and tucking things under the rug to avoid sharing my small victories.
Maybe I think the celebration needs to be grand, which overwhelms me. I think about my graduation and my 30th birthday lining up on the same day this year, and I feel pressure to feel excited. Instead, I am worried about the friends I don’t have to invite to the party. I worry that the occasion will lead to loneliness. There’s a lot for me to unpack here before I can fully celebrate myself.
There’s also a chance to challenge what I need from a celebration. For example, can I get a dopamine hit by taking myself for a celebratory hike? Writing letters of gratitude to the mentors, I’ve met along the way? Maybe erratic crazy dancing with my bedroom door locked and my music too loud. Finding an authentic way to celebrate myself is the goal, and I hope to get to know myself better and to continually celebrate myself throughout my life.
From self-care to good food, from good sleep to celebrating, dopamine hits don’t have to be so few and far between. In fact, they shouldn’t be! Make time to invest in your wellbeing. Get to know what makes your happy hormones flow, then do more of it!
