Understanding Vicarious Trauma & The Two Factors To Fighting it

Sleeplessness, exhaustion, feelings of irritability and despair. These are just a few of the feelings experienced in veteran households across the country but they aren’t felt by veterans alone. Veteran spouses are equally susceptible.

Veteran spouses are often the primary caretakers post-deployment attempting to care for the range of symptoms their loved ones have experienced. Studies show the constant care and support veterans require, while necessary, can strain their family unit and their spouses, in particular, causing them to experience similar trauma-based symptoms.

Often referred to as Secondary Traumatic Stress or Secondary PTSD, Vicarious Trauma is a serious disorder where “a situation in which the intimate partners of trauma survivors themselves begin to experience symptoms of trauma”.

A 2008 report by the Rand Health and the Center for Military Health found “With respect to PTSD, there is extensive evidence that secondary traumatization, at least in its broader sense, occurs and has serious negative consequences for the emotional and psychological well-being of the spouses of veterans with PTSD”.

Common symptoms include sympathy, anger, guilt and depression and can increase if their loved one is not adjusting well to life post-deployment.

It’s easy to understand how Vicarious Trauma can manifest. Veterans return from deployment with a variety of physical, emotional and psychological issues and the primary interest of their family is to see their loved one healed and whole again. But more often then not spouses are making a very important misstep in the way they care for their loved one.

Too many wives and husbands try to care for their loved one alone. Spouses who care for their loved ones without assistance or taking time for self-care can become isolated and feel like victims themselves. Often, spouses are not sharing the strain due to their loved ones belief (or their own) that others will not understand. Not relying on a solid support system experience this disorder at a much higher rate.

Veterans and spouses who don’t lean on their family and friends or seek professional help often divorce twice as often, as well as, falling victim to domestic abuse and occasionally suicide.

How can spouses not fall victim to this disorder?

There is no one easy answer. Every veterans experience is different but it is imperative for a spouse to understand two key factors.

1. Don’t Go it Alone

No spouse should carry this weight on their own. Not only is it not healthy for you or your family but no veteran wants to see their spouse in pain. Create a support system with those who have walked in your footsteps and will understand how to support you.

Seeking professional counseling through the VA or privately is also beneficial. Counselors and therapists can provide objective insights and tools to move your family forward in a healthy and positive manner.

We see the benefits firsthand at our sister organization, Quality Life Center , where veterans and spouses are provided the tools to tackle symptoms of Vicarious Trauma & PTSD. We have found veteran families who seek help develop better coping skills and are better adjusted to life postdeployment.

2. Don’t Expect Your Loved One to Return the Same Person

Depending on your loved one’s deployment they have lived through experiences that have changed them. Expecting a loved one to be the same person who left for deployment can strain relationships between veterans and spouses.

Taking time to adjust to life postdeployment while remaining open & observant to changes in their demeanor can make your relationship and family life easier on everyone involved.

The truth is when our men and women are sent into harms way they are not the only people who experience war’s damaging effects. They are also not the only people who need care and support.

If you or a loved one are exhibiting signs of Vicarious Trauma, we encourage you to seek professional help.