How I met my mother — 3

Yes, God or No God!

Please read part two here.

I wrote “What do I want” in my notes (sent it out in the universe):

1. Visit Om Swami
2. Receive Diksha from Om Swami
3. Om Swami is my Guru, and he has accepted me
4. Focus on Meditation and Sadhana next two years……
And so on…

At that time, I was unaware of what Diksha or Sadhana stands for and why I would like to have a Diksha. Since I live in the US, I was not looking for a Guru. I never searched for one. Ironically, I always made fun of people who followed any Guru. I used to feel sorry for people who believed in God. I firmly believe that one with low self-confidence and self-esteem always looks for ways to surrender to some high power so they can play the blame game. (Or, maybe I was just hurt inside knowing my Krishna is not with me anymore?) If you are confident, you don’t need a guru or God. Be brave, be assured there is no other choice for you, Sona!

Of course, No God!

Three years ago, in BC (Before Covid-19!) My niece and I were visiting Antigua (West Indies), and we had a long discussion and a bit of an argument regarding GOD and his existence with our taxi driver. After dropping us off at our hotel, he was so upset that he said he would no longer give us a ride because we refused to believe in GOD! We were in big trouble, Antigua is a small island in the Caribbean, and we had another week to spend with very few taxi choices. But, my false pride in my brain was ready to walk for a week but wouldn’t accept God’s existence. I was Ok with it.

Maybe, Yes, God?

And now, for some unexplainable reason, I have become a spiritual person, desperate to meet the Divine and already accepting Om Swami Ji as my Guru in my heart! All I wanted was to be with the Divine. What is happening to me? Did Swami Ji’s videos and his book “If Truth Be Told: A Monk’s Memoir” completely change my world that fast? But I am not the kind of person who can fall for some teachings over a few videos online! I need to test myself; I need to test Swami Ji. I have to be 100% sure.

I decided to give myself a year. I started meditating daily; I knew I would be ready to meet Om Swami Ji next year, but not now! I was all set with my plan and one year in my hand. I was feeling good. Next year, in December 2022, I will visit India.

I did a bit of research about “Diksha.” After reading many blogs of Om Swami Ji’s devotees on os.me and his YouTube video on accepting a disciple, I realized it would be a long process. After the first meeting, he will test me for a year or two to check my true devotion, desire to meet and merge with the Divine, etc. Then I can fill out the form to request the Diksha, and eventually, I will get a chance in the next 2–3 years to be his disciple. I like my plan! I had no rush.

Definitely Yes, God

My surrender towards Swami Ji started growing slowly. Everything felt so natural and easy. There was no doubt or any question in my mind. I knew this was what I needed to do.

Simultaneously, I studied Swami Vivekananda and Swami Sarvapriyananda’s lectures on YouTube. Advaita Vedanta was easy and familiar to me. One thing is for sure, I was very clear about experiencing the Divine, to be with the Divine in the future. I don’t want anything else in life anymore.

Please read part four here.