Listen to Heart or Succumb to Conditioning?

As I walked from the parking area into the college campus, I noticed something. In one part of the garden in front of the college building, there are 6 stone benches, arranged in 2 parallel rows, 3 in each row. There were 6–7 students, scattered. I knew none of them. Right in the center of the two rows, there were 2 fallen dustbins, a red and a green, with some litter spread in front of them. I couldn’t stand that sight and an inner tussle followed. Though, it lasted for just a couple of moments.

I had two choices -

• Ignore them, the staff will take care.
• Keep the dustbins upright and put the trash in it.

My heart wanted me to pickup the second option. However, something, some invisible chain was trying to stop me. I sat on the bench in the corner and pondered. I realized, I am not here to please people. Why should I be bothered whatever someone thinks about me? I am not accountable to anyone except the Divine, inner self. Such a simple act, if I am unable to do this, it means some sort of ego, some little trace of it, some conditioning has remained. It was just an illusory bondage.

I had made up my mind. I got up, went to them, kept the dustbins properly and put the garbage (which included few disposable cups, a plastic bottle, bits of paper, etc) into them. I just walked away without turning around.

All the inner tussle lasted only until I had picked up the garbage. When I picked it up, I felt peaceful. I felt as if some burden was lift from my heart. I am glad that I followed my heart, acted freely, without getting affected by any conditioning. I felt extremely light. And I felt really happy.

Somewhere, I feel it was also a test by nature to test ego and social conditioning.

Originally published at https://os.me on July 25, 2022.