Why am I not happy?
Attitude of Happiness
You are all happy in the morning, holding a freshly brewed cup of coffee and checking the phone for unanswered messages and maybe some social network updates of undesirable and not-so-friendly people in another hand.
Morning is going so well; you are admiring the perfect amount of cream dissolved in that coffee, creating a cosmic dance with your dark coffee. You smile; such a beautiful morning this is!
You take one sip, aha! Perfect coffee! You are now checking out the updates, photos, and cute, funny animal videos. On social media, people look delightfully happy enjoying their cocktails at the sunset or family gatherings enjoying a birthday celebration. Hmmm… whatever!
Now all of a sudden, that coffee doesn’t taste good anymore. You notice a bit of swelling on your face and hands. Why am I swollen? “Oh no! “now you are thinking, you should have booked your hair appointment this week. You got that nagging uncomfortable feeling; your hair doesn’t look good! Your mind started thinking of more tricks to piss you off- “Did I gain some weight since yesterday? It Must be my cream in the coffee; I should stick with black coffee. But I hate black coffee. I need to find another lady to do my hair, this one is no good”. You just remembered that your extended family is coming for dinner this Friday! You have to cook!!! Cook!!! And, your hair is not perfect! Ugg! Why do good things not happen to me? What did I do wrong that only bad Karma is constantly hitting me? I am a good person; I don’t deserve this. I want to be happy too. I deserve that perfect life. I gave my fries to that street dog the other day. I care about animals too! I am a loving, caring person.
Now, you are counting and adding all your good Karma to your mind basket. You don’t want to live this sad little boring life. You wish to have all that happiness in those pictures on social media. You deserve to be happy. You want that sunset evening cocktail selfie to add on your social media with perfect hair.
Why? Am I not happy?
Let’s do some brainstorming:
Attitude helps evolve emotions. When we act in life, we must know how our mindset is while conducting our actions (karma points?).
Things to remember:
There are always many reasons to complain. Everyone experiences happiness and sorrow in life.
When our heart is in extreme pain or sadness, we always think whatever is good for us is the right way. Whatever favored us at that time seemed the correct way.
Happiness and blissfulness are in our minds. As my beloved Guruji says, these three things will help you reach true happiness:
· Grateful: One needs to be grateful for what they have in their life.
· Compassion: This is the only way to have a meaningful life. When you do something to help others, you are helping nature grow. Make sure not to have any expectations from the other person in return. Compassion gently holds forgiveness in our hearts.
· Forgiveness: Learn to say and live, “I am not going to hold anything in my heart against this person.” This doesn’t mean you forget the action of that person.
· Just as a lotus leaf is untouched by water, you dedicate all your actions to the attitude of equanimity explained here.
Srimad Bhagavad Gita: Chapter 2 section 38
सुखदुःखे समे कृत्वा लाभालाभौ जयाजयौ ।
ततो युद्धाय युज्यस्व नैवं पापमवाप्स्यसि ॥ २-३८॥
Perform your action with the attitude of equanimity.
Equanimity: If you treat and welcome victory and defeat, pleasure and pain as the same, you will never disappoint yourself. As long as your mind is aware that either outcome of your action is acceptable for you, your mind will not suffer if the outcome is negative, and on the other hand, will enjoy the positive outcome immensely. You will be happy regardless.
You can gain or lose in life but make your mind aware in advance to accept either one with grace and love. Attention should be on acting and not on the results. Either result shouldn’t affect it. If joy/ happiness arrives due to your action, that’s OK, or if sorrow or loss comes, that’s OK too. Both results are acceptable to me. Find that perfect balance in your action, mind, and thoughts.
We often associate our happiness with external factors. We are too busy gratifying our senses so we can feel pleasure in our hearts. However, that happiness is only temporary and gives sorrow the minute our temporary happiness is over.
Patanjali Yoga Sutras — Chapter II, Sūtra 42
saṃtoṣāt-anuttamaḥ sukha-lābhaḥ ||42||
From contentment, unsurpassed happiness is attained.
If you learn to develop the contentment of your mind, whatever the result is of your action, you will gain the highest level of pleasure and happiness.
True happiness can only emanate from a peaceful mind. It is independent of external factors and will remain tranquil in every situation.
PS: Girl, get your hair done for sure. That is the action needed to be done from your side. Oh! By the way, don’t worry about the result, be happy either way because you are always gorgeous — loads of love, smiles, and hugs.