What will I do I with the rest of my life?

Drinking my hot foamy cup of coffee this morning, and scrolling through some social media, one of my FB memories came up.

The video that played was of my oldest grandson singing, “You are my sunshine, Happy Birthday and Old McDonald”.

My heart swelled in love for this little one. The images pulled me back into the time when my own girls were so little.

How did the years of time go so fast?

Most of the parents I know say the same thing. It is so puzzling that some days feel as though they will never end and others end way too soon.

If I had control over time I would probably speed time up or slow it down, according to my desire. That would most likely screw up the rest of the world.

I fight hard to stay in the present moment. It is a muscle I have yet to build stronger.
But it is the most important one to exercise every day, for me, anyway.

The present moment is the place of authenticity. It is really the most natural place to be.

When I am in this place, time does seem to slow, or to at least pause.

Last night was my husband’s birthday.

Our youngest daughter and her husband came over to celebrate. We relaxed over apps and drinks, enjoying the sunset and one another.

We cooked together and sang Happy Birthday to Thom to a single lit candle in the center of the homemade pie that Stephanie made.

It was a present moment feeling.

All of us were right here, right now. We laughed and found all of our hearts lifted as Thom closed his eyes and made his wish. Each one of us took a turn wishing things over him for this next year.

I bought Thom a new kind of whiskey, with the essence of Smoked Maple.
As candle light created a glowing atmosphere, I pulled out the snifters and we savored the flavors.

Having just talked about a healthy fit friend who landed in the hospital in the last 24 hours, my daughter asked me, “How old was your dad when he died”?

“57”.

My dad was only 57 years old when he went to bed one night and passed away from a massive heart attack.

This question led us down the trail to the past. We spoke of our rebellious times, music from the 60’s and 70’s, relationships with mine and Thom’s parents and siblings and many past moments.

The feelings from that time were a myriad of happy and sad.

Reminiscing has caused me to see what a full and rich varied journey I have traveled. The night was a gift. Full of love and compassion. Full of Grace and learning.

I slept well. Dreams of pieces from our conversation flittered through my sleep.

So this morning I find it fitting that a memory popped up. It appears as though the theme of my life is remembering to live right here and right now.

For the memories of the past have mostly wizzed by too quickly.

My longing is to savor the now.

To be more awake, aware, more conscious, more fully present.

For it is only in the present moment that I am most fully me with you and with me.

The past is gone.

The future is (hopefully) still on it’s way.

Living means staying here.

Now.

And as I journey through my day, it is the fullness of awareness that makes today and tomorrow matter.

So what do I want to do with the rest of my life?

To be awake, aware, curious, teachable, loving, kind, giving, open, un-offended, inviting, encouraging, truthful, sparkly, forgiving, and fully here, right here, right now.