An Excerpt From The Diary Of An Interstellar Traveler
This is the story of how I became the first-ever human to cross the Solar System and yet make no one proud. So here goes….
“Telling I am lonely would be an understatement. I am literally a speck of dust amidst all these stars. I feel insignificant, yea that’s the right word. Just look at these weird-looking giant asteroids passing by. They look like my dad’s ugly face, hehe. I should probably run tests on them but, meh. Anyway, what else is an understatement is telling the job pays good. Its been almost a century since those insects first appeared with their ambitions for harvesting all our water, and patriotism has slowly died down leaving a once lucrative job as a space outpost keeper not in so much of a demand. But thankfully for some like me who were gifted with several outstanding credit bills of their beloved dad before they passed away, this was an ideal way to pay them off.
I never really cared for my family much, but if you are an adult brought up in the golden age of mankind, it was obvious that love, generosity, responsibility and the rest of human bullshit were demanded of you. And yes, i’m pretty sure my little socially responsible sister is donating delicious burgers generously to charities using the cash that I earned suffering in this loving dump. Look at all those blue flashing lights so far away. In my childhood it was said that when you see them, you should close your eyes, make a wish and it would definitely happen.
Let me make a wish then — I wish Humanity dissolves into nothingness in front of my eyes. Bwuhahahaha….
After all its that sick society, and that UN Office of Space Affairs who wouldn’t send me a shuttle to go back home even after three years past the end of my service. I would spit on all of you and rip your limbs apart and …. Why is it so blue suddenly? No comet is that bright.
I looked back and was dumbstruck to find those blue lights now as large as a planet moving at an incredible speed towards me growing larger by the moment. Within a blink of an eye it was as big as our Sun, completely overwhelming me. By the time I blinked a second time, it reached the colony on Jupiter’s moon which immediately exploded outwards with a blue haze. With my second and third blinks, I saw the Mars and the Earth respectively form great works of blue art for all of the cosmos to gape at. Spectacular, simply spectacular to watch!
I don’t recall how much time I spent watching these blue mushrooms flatten into blue pancakes but soon enough, my station was sucked into some sort of extremely weird looking asteroid. A big insect looking creature gave me a really enticing burger and I was immediately reminded of a memory of me giving a new bone for my pet dog Hector to chew on.
The Rabbi race have selected me to be the sole survivor for the human race and have taken me across the wide reaches of this galaxy and placed me here in this dome where I write these books that I read myself. Most of the books are really high rated, by the way. And the burgers here? Spot on.
