In the pursuit of increasing base level of happiness. And how the things you really wanted loose their spark after time.
50 % of our happiness set-point is defined by our genes
10% is affected primarily by circumstances like where we were born and to whom
40% is subject to our influence
If you have taken DNA test with 23andMe / MyHeritage you could look it up from your results. It is genome 17, gene SLC6A2. This gene is responsible for how well nerve cells manage to distribute serotonin — a chemical produced by the pineal gland in the brain which helps control mood.
So what happens with fulfilled dreams?
The first time I experienced hedonic adaption explicitly was in 2016 when I had been giving zumba classes for several months already. To begin with I was looking forward to each class and received a huge energy boosts and feeling of happiness after 60 minutes of training. My dream had become true — to be an instructor, to inspire others and make them healthier. Couple of months later I was driving to the training and found myself from the though “Ah I don’t feel like smiling and being infront of people right now.” After a busy day in the office I felt that instructing had suddenly become an obligation, excitement was vanished. I couldn’t belive that something that I had been wanting for a long time and worked hard for, started to feel like a work. So I started to wonder — what happens with fulfilled dreams?
I found an answer in 2019 — hedonic adaptation
Fast forward to 2019, running a start-up is an unforgiving game of ups and downs. Though, as a rookie you don’t know that 90% of card in the game are the “down”-cards. The “up”-card are rare but when they appear I’m in a lifted mood for couple of days mostly because people like to co-celebrate victories not failures. On the weekends I tried to shake off the pressure I feel in the everyday life and take away thoughts from work. All the fun picture on Instagram are from those weekends when you try to have fun meanwhile running away form anxious thoughts. Reality for me. Anyways this emotional roller-coster was starting to wear me off and I needed to find a cure for it. I was feeling bipolar, not in control and not satisfied with.. anything. So my goal was to find out how to keep myself emotionally balanced, meaning not to surf the highs and lows and be thrown around like a puppet. Then I discovered the concept of headonic adaptation. It got an explanation to what I had felt with zumba and it was an introduction to how to increase my base level happiness.
Hedonism refers to the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain as averaged over the long run. Hedonic means pleasant (or unpleasant) sensation. By reading about headonic adaptation I also found this:
— in order for the delayed greater good to motivate behavior, it must evoke a desire stronger than the desire for immediate pleasure.
It is like lifes own polygraph, a lie detector, which shows if you really want something or not.
Hedonic adaption explained
Human beings are remarkably adept at becoming rapidly accustomed to sensory or physiological changes. This phenomenon is occurs in hedonic shifts — relocations, marriages, job changes — it makes you happier for a time, but only a short time. Human beings adapt to favorable changes in wealth, housing, and possessions, and soon, their temporary happiness-boost disappears. Because of hedonic adaptation, neither money nor relationship status nor anything else can provide lasting happiness.
My favorite artickle about the concept.
Pleasures are more subject to hedonic adaptation
Pleasure — raw feelings such as laughter, excitement, comfort, clear sensory and strong emotional components. We get used to pleasures quickly and they become less pleasurable over time. Pleasures bring a quick lift in mood without a great deal of effort. Though lift in mood can lead to a chain reaction of positive feelings and increased stress resilience.
F.ex. ice cream after dinner, Netflix, fresh sheets, drinking tea, roller-coaster ride, fresh flowers, new shirt.
Tips! Rotate, alternate your pleasures so that they always feel new.
Gratifications are more immune to the effect of hedonic adaptation
Gratification — requires significant effort, presents strong sense of meaning to us. Gratifications are activities that get us into a feeling of “flow” where we don’t notice the passage of time. Activities not too difficult to feel discouraged but just difficult enough to keep us feeling challenged. The more we engage in gratifications, the more we enjoy the. In some cases there is “getting better proccess” involved. These activities may require energy and may not always be enjoyable while a person is engaged in them (they can be challenging), but they bring lasting results in terms of overall happiness and inner peace.
F.ex. learning a new skill, taking up a new hobby, making a favor to person/friend/family/collegue, creating art, creating (or investing into) close relationships, act from generousity or altruism.
As of now if know that those swings are unavoidable and natural part of my life. I have learned 2 important things:
- Perspective. When things feel really bad I have to come out of my cave and put myself into bigger perspective — who am I, what have I accomplished, how is this anxiety influencing me, am I going towards right direction etc. Problems are just questions not answered yet. I often remind myself the months I worked in the restaurant business where my biggest problem was that other waitress was chronically slacking off. This memory actually make me happy because I become thankful for that I have now definitely more interesting, challenging and advanced problems compared to a life when I was a waitress.
- Knowing this too shall pass. It is finite, an evolution, a school of life, a learning cycle. Don’t just suck it up, live it through with a whole heart and let it make me stronger. The day will come when I have answer to this problem.
