Finding Rudolf
My friendship with Santa’s most celebrated reindeer
When I was four, Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer was my best friend. He had been introduced to me by Santa one night when he stayed for milk and cookies to discuss the nuanced dichotomy between naughty and nice.
Rudolf and I became fast friends — kindred nose spirits, you might say. I never made fun of his red nose, and he never made fun of mine, chronically pink from allergies and flecked with a thousand freckles.
Rudolf came to pre-school with me and held my hand with his hoof when I felt scared. He also had a seat at our dinner table. My parents were instructed to give him all of my vegetables.
“He needs them for energy ’cause sleigh pulling is hard work,” I told them if they seemed suspicious.
Rudolf performed his sleigh work at night, right after I fell asleep and his large red nose had kissed my forehead.
When I entered kindergarten, my parents told me that I would make new friends. But the other children just made fun of my freckly pink nose.
“Hey maybe we can play connect the dots on it,” Tommy, the round faced boy snickered.
Trying to defend noses everywhere, I told them about Rudolf, but they laughed at me. “Rudolf isn’t real,” they said. “He’s just imaginary.”
“But of course he’s real. He’s standing right here.” I petted his downy back for reassurance.
“No he’s not,” said Tommy. “Because I can’t see him.”
I looked at Rudolf’s face in confusion. He winked and his shiny red nose glowed brighter.
“Maybe you have the wrong eyes,” I said.
“Don’t be dumb,” said Susie. “I can’t see him either. Rudolf isn’t real. If you don’t believe us we can ask Mr. Hackett.”
Mr. Hackett was the school principal. Asking Mr. Hackett to see Rudolf would have been like asking him to read Eskimo. Adults, especially important adults, lose their ability to see things as they get older. They need special glasses even to read a good book.
I went home and cried. Why didn’t people believe in Rudolf anymore? Rudolf passed me tissues and I blew my pink nose into them.
“Rudolf,” I said. “I see you. I promise. But maybe I should start going to school by myself.”
In the days and months that passed Rudolf volunteered to stay home. He used the excuse that he had to help Santa with extra chores.
As the years rolled on, I became busy with school and new friends. Rudolf spent more and more time pulling sleighs and I only saw him when he kissed my head goodnight, sending me to magical dreamlands.
One night, when I was 7, I told him I wouldn't see him next weekend because I had a slumber party with new friends. A thick tear hit my head as he said goodnight. I hugged his neck and promised him that just because I was busy, I would still see him on other visits.
Rudolf’s visits became less and less frequent but I was so busy I barely noticed. Multiplication tables and soccer practice turned into dances and makeup and exams. When I turned 14 I realized that Rudolf hadn’t come to visit me for three years. I started to wonder if I had just dreamt him up.
“Do you remember when you used to have an imaginary friend named Rudolf?” asked Susie, who had become my new best friend. We were in the school cafeteria, painting each other’s nails red in-between bites of cheesy pizza. It was mid October, the week of our Homecoming game.
“Kind of. ” I said. I had never thought Rudolf was imaginary before but now I wasn’t so sure.
“Well, it was really funny. You used to talk about him all the time and we thought you had a mental problem. I’m happy you turned out normal, not a reindeer fanatic.”
“Wait,what?” Peter, the 15 year old varsity soccer star had overheard us. He set down his tray piled high of pepperoni slices and looked at me. “You saw a reindeer?”
“Yeah, Heidi used to think she had a friend named Rudolf.” Susie laughed. “As if….”
Peter looked at me with an arched eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yes. For a while. But I, um, stopped. I’m normal. Don’t worry.” I said awkwardly, my cheeks flushing to a Rudolf nose red.
Susie, who was always good at leaving me in a puddle of awkward situations, got up and left. “I’ll leave you two to talk jingle bells,” she said.
Peter looked at me with concern. “I think we should talk. Let’s meet after school.” I noticed that Peter had lots of freckles on his nose too.
I’m sure Peter thought I was weirdo with an obsession for cartoon characters.
However, I decided to meet Peter by our bikes after school and ride to his house. The air snapped cold on my face as I pedaled, a sign winter would be here soon.
Peter’s house was a small yellow rectangle with large shutters and a wide front porch. However, he told me that we weren’t going in through the front. He led me to the back of the house to a big wooden barn. I was nervous. Maybe Peter was a teenage serial killer and he was going to murder me and hide my body in a stack of hay.
He slid the barn door open.
“Can you see anything,?” Peter asked.
All I saw was darkness.
“Think back to when you were a little girl. Who was your best friend?”
I finally allowed Rudolf to enter my mind.
A small red glow lit from the back.
“Randy, come here,” Peter said.
All of a sudden a svelte reindeer pranced out. I ran to him and threw my arms around his neck. “Rudolf I’ve missed you so much.” I said. “I’m sorry I haven’t thought of you in a while.”
“I call him Randy,” said Peter. “He helped me three years ago when some bullies started making fun of me for my small body and freckles. A year after I met him I grew 5 inches! I invited him to live in our barn when he’s in town. I feed him my dinner leftovers every night before he leaves to do sleigh work.”
“But that’s what….” I started to remember all the meals I had fed Rudolf over the years.
“I know,” said Peter. “He misses you.” Peter smiled at me.
Rudolf’s nose blinked extra bright and his eyes shone.
“I was thinking we could bring him to the Homecoming game for a special half-time performance,” Peter said.
“But what if people cannot see him?” I asked.
“Well, we have to help them. Everyone has the power to believe even if it’s buried deep. I bet you and Randy, um I mean Rudolf, can help people open their eyes and their hearts.”
I smiled. Bringing Rudolf to the football game would mark the start of the Christmas season.
As if he could hear my thoughts Rudolf started prancing in circles, kicking up his back hoofs up in glee.
The afternoon of the homecoming game Peter and I left school early to dress Rudolf up in a jingle bell collar. We tied big red bow on his left antler as if he were a Christmas present to be opened.
The three of us went to football stadium early to plan. The air was extra cold and little puffs of breath came out of all our noses.
As we crossed the field to duck under the left side bleachers we waved to a group of cheerleaders practicing. One girl in bouncy blond pigtails ran up to us. “Is that a reindeer!” she exclaimed. “Can I pet him?”
“You can see him?” I asked.
“Of course. I moved here last year with my family from Iceland, near Santa’s summer vacation home. We always believed in reindeers, especially the magical kind.” She smiled and kissed Rudolf’s red nose before running back to practice. “He’s our good luck charm!” she shouted.
We settled under the bleachers and waited for the crowds to fill the stands. The game was going to be a tough one. We were playing Ranger High who had linebackers the size of elephants.
We watched the game under the metal bleachers, petting Rudolf to keep him calm. I wasn’t sure if he could understand football, but his nose was picking up excitement from the crowds, blinking like a Christmas tree.
Our team was playing well, but it was getting hard to make it past the Ranger’s defense to make a touchdown. By the time halftime hit, the Rangers were ahead 6 to 0.
Losing the game wasn’t going to be the right time for a reindeer performance. Maybe this was a bad idea…
As soon as half time started the cheerleaders went out to perform their dance. The blond pig-tailed girl waved to us, encouraging us to join them. I looked at Peter.
“It’s time to go. How should we start?” I asked.
“I know just the thing, “ he said.
He grabbed a megaphone from the coach’s bench and ran out to the grounds, leaving me with Rudolf.
“In honor of our homecoming we have a special treat! But first everyone has to close their eyes.”
The crowds of teenagers snickered and yelled.
“Hey soccer player, get off the football field,” shouted an upperclassman from the bleachers.
“I don’t close my eyes!” yelled another.
People started throwing their half-eaten hot dogs out to the field, aiming for Peter’s nose.
I ran out to the field and grabbed the megaphone.
“Um. Helloooo Senior High! Do you want our team to win today?”
The hot dogs stopped flying and people started shouting “YES.”
“I can’t hear you. Do you want Senior High to win today?” I shouted.
“YES!” roared the crowd.
“Then we all have to believe. We have to believe in our team, in us, and in magic.”
I passed the megaphone back to Peter.
“Now close your eyes,” he repeated. This time no hot dogs flew.
“Remember when you were a kid. Remember everything you believed in.” Peter then whistled and Rudolf pranced out onto the field.
Peter pulled me in close so we could both speak into the megaphone.
“Now trust your belief. And open your eyes!”
At first the crowd was silent. I looked at Rudolf prancing, his jingle bell collar jingling and his nose blinking. All of a sudden I heard a gasp from the bleachers. It was Susie.
“It’s a REINDEER!!” she said and pointed down to Rudolf’s dance.
Susie’s gasp confirmed what everyone was hoping they saw. The whole crowd laughed in delight and exclaims of wonder carried across the cold air.
The cheerleaders started a new cheer.
“Rudolf with your nose so bright!
Rudolf’s gonna help us WIN tonight!
Go Rudolf. Go Senior High!”
Rudolf pranced in circles around the cheerleaders, his nose never so red.
“Rudolf is our new new magical red nosed mascot!” the blond pig-tailed girl squealed.
Peter and I looked at each other and grinned. We had unleashed belief.
“You know there is a dance tomorrow night,” Peter said. “If you don’t already have plans with Susie, would you like to come with me?”
“Only if we can bring Rudolf,” I said.
Rudolf came over to us and licked both our faces in glee. He had never had so many people believing in him at once.
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