Hua Hin

Published in

sanuk tour

9 min readMar 7, 2015

Hit and miss

The first, and only, time we were aware the country is under martial law was when we were making out way to Hua Hin. Even then, if we had snoozed for a couple of minutes, we would have missed it. We were coming from the south, and there was a checkpoint on the road. The van we were travelling in was stopped, and a soldier asked the locals for their identification. They didn’t bother with us, and pretty soon we were on our way again.

We had taken a mini-van up from Ranong, one that left us at Chumphon station, with five ours to kill. An empty JJ Seafood across the road would have to do. Free fast wi-fi, delicious food and a few Changs, and we were still not ready for the dozens of rats that happily walk around the station. Dozens! Crazy entertainment, watching them go all over the place, but we’re not squeamish by now. Maybe that was a sign of what was to come.

After getting out of the train at 1 AM and walking all the way to the hotel we expected a nicer reception, but the guy at the counter was not a nice person. A few harsh words later we were laying down our backpacks and coming right down for some food. There’s a Burger King right next door, 24/7, and we caved in. It was either that or a hooker bar. We went with the double cheeseburgers.

The hotel was not on our list, but the ones we had picked had no rooms available and one of them offered to help, setting us up at another hotel from the group, a new one. From the email conversations we could not get a real feel for the thing, it was the most surreal exchange we had. A quick online search later and the hotel did seem ok, and new so we had booked a room there. The room was not bad and the location was indeed central. Check and check. Just don’t look out the window, or depression will strike. Buildings and more buildings, and not even the good kind. Uglyyyyy ones.

If we had to pick a place to skip from the whole month, this would be it.

Sure, there’s Phraya Nakhon Cave, and that alone makes the city worth a visit, and Moo Sea Food at the night market, and that is also a reason to visit the town. And it’s the Royal’s beach getaway city, and most of affluent Bangkokians come here on weekends too, if you trust the Lonely Planet’s guide. We couldn’t spot them.

Apart from that, it’s like being in Florida, with retired people all over, but with a lot of mixed couples. Some live here most of the time, some others come for extended periods, three months at a time, and stay at the same place they always do, for twenty years or so. They feel at home, easily understandable, but I bet they would also feel at home anywhere else in the country. Why pick Hua Hin ? Beats me. We missed something, for sure.

There’s a Swiss restaurant, a German restaurant, Swede restaurants and, if you make an effort, you might even find some Thai restaurants. We read somewhere that there’s plenty of golf courses too. We did see a couple of dudes carrying golf clubs, and shops selling them.

And the beach is just ridiculous when you’re coming from the islands. Crowded, almost no trees, a mountain of high-rise buildings right there on the sand, horses for rent and people walking the beach trying to sell you a variety of goods. Not nice. If you’re not a big beach fan, you can always sit in one of the restaurants and have a Chang or two while eavesdropping on old people’s conversations. That’s what I did. I didn’t even have to try that hard, as the place is so crowded they sat a couple of them on my table.

We were not in heaven, I can tell you that. We had made a stop here only because we couldn’t find accommodation in Petchaburi and we were trying to make the most of this unwanted stop.

It’s not a big city, walkable, but it feels like Quarteira, if you’ve ever been there, with hooker bars added to the mix. The bars open at 10am, the girls busy with their morning prayers and duties. By 10:10 there’s already plenty of old guys sitting, drinking Chang and other, stronger, stuff. And, to be fair, it seems not only the older kind of foreigner comes to these places looking for companionship. We could also spot more than a few younger fellows, guys in their 20's, with a local girlfriend. I’m not judging (well, not a lot anyway), it just makes the place look seedier than I would personally like. We had be trying to skip places where this kind of business was more visible, and also places that have a lot of tourists, and here we found both of these situations.

There’s also this side to Thailand, for sure, and missing it would be impossible. And we were there to experience the whole country, so I guess that’s ok. This is the softer version anyway, or so I’m told, as there are cities where it’s on a much bigger scale. Saw it, didn’t like it, moving on.

There’s a really pretty train station, the prettiest we’ve seen, with a nice Royal Pavilion. And the mandatory night market is pretty decent. Apart from that you can find all the fake stuff you want, if you want that kind of thing, and not much else. A couple of nice places to have breakfast, and a lot of tailors too, but you have them all over the place in most cities. Usually ran by indians.

And we did make the trip to Phraya Nakhon. Everyone and their cousin is selling day trips there and to a bunch of other landmarks in the area, we went with a travel agency that had a booth set up on the corner just across the street from our hotel. All the booth agencies had the same prices, so this was the most convenient. We approached the nice lady and she quickly picked up the phone and summoned a driver. It took him around five minutes to get there, maybe even less, but she had time to give the car a good clean, inside and out.

You get a car with a private driver, he takes to Bang Pu beach, and you have two choices when you get there: either climb a huge hill and come down on the other side, on a pristine beach, or get ripped off by a gang of ladies who have a fleet of boats to take you around said hill. We went with the con ladies, and soon were getting off the boat on the beach, ready to become mountaineers and explorers.

It’s a beautiful cave, with a Royal Throne inside. There’s some vegetation, forest-like vegetation, growing inside, and a lot more of that on the outside. It’s a steep walk up the mountain to get there, not fit for those you are couch potatoes. Please make sure you have enough water for the adventure, you will need it. There’s a restaurant on the beach, if you forgot to bring enough.

When you get back down the boat will be waiting for you, drop you back on the other side, and you can refresh yourself with a cold beer and some food, before getting back on the car and enjoy the aircon for the 45 minutes it takes to get back to Hua Hin. All of the journey, apart from the cave itself is a bit of a tourist trap, and it sure feels that way. But the cave is really really nice.

You can then have your daily healthy meal at Moo Sea Food, in the night market, next to a… you guessed it, 7-Eleven. We also ate, and very well I might add, at Bam Bam Restaurant. There were a few restaurants at the pier, but it was too hot when we went by and we didn’t have the courage to get back for a meal. Maybe we missed something there, you never know…

Even the big wat in town is a little sadder than we were used to. On the map it looks big, and when you’re walking around it, it looks even bigger hiding behind it’s huge wall. But when we got to the entrance we found out most of the area is a parking lot, and the actual wat is actually quite small. Interesting (we really loved them) but nothing to rave about.

There’s always the market, the day one, that’ll keep you busy for a bit, and the night one. Chatsila Night Market feels a little too touristy, but maybe we were just fed up with Hua Hin. It’s a covered market, and you can’t find a local there if you’re not counting the people who are selling stuff and massaging your feet. But step outside, to the real night market, and it’s as fun as any other in the country.