I Think Dogs Are Evolving to Become More Human
“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.”
Nothing that I’m about to write or publish is important or even all that sensible, but it’s just this weird theory I need to get off my chest. After all, if it actually came true, maybe sociologists and biologists would find this article in hundreds of years and I’d be labeled a prophet. Wheelroute could be spoken of in the same breath as Einstein and Copernicus.
I think dogs are evolving to become more human. Both in terms of dogs I’ve known in real life and in dogs who have been the stars of viral videos, it seems like they’re getting closer to being able to talk and speak languages. They just seem to be getting more vocal overall, but it also seems close to being linguistically inclined.
Additionally, there are a lot of bizarre people on social media with weird, parasocial relationships with their dogs who don’t really think about them as parental figures at all. Yet, these people continue to dress them in outfits that are themed to seasons that Pagans — not pugs — would be aware of. The more people treat dogs like children and the more they alter their diets and wardrobes, the less dogs feel inclined to keep in touch with their wild spirits and ancestors. What dog would choose to scavenge for food when they can be pampered and have breakfast and ice cream delivered to them in bed?
Lastly, I think dogs are spending more and more time on their hind legs than ever before. I have no source for this and I don’t even know of any fun TikToks or Instagram pictures about this happening. But I do know that Max, our family’s dog when I was a child, was never on his hind legs and Sam, our family’s dog now, is always on his hind legs. Granted, Sam is much smaller than Max, but still, it feels like this is happening nationwide. Just based on the vibe of things, you know?
All in all, it seems like dogs are closer to being humans than ever before; they just need their brains to catch up with them. It won’t happen in our lifetime, but I predict that one day, dogs will be walking and talking, even if they are unable to kickstart their own civilization.
