The Unspoken Art and Science of Selling Yourself
Stop underselling yourself and start closing what you deserve
“Put that coffee down. The coffee is for closers only.” says Alec Baldwin.
I press the pause button and look blankly towards my laptop’s screen. The image is still but the cogs in my head are rotating quickly.
Glengarry Glen Ross has been one of those movies that I have watched multiple times but at that very moment it feels like I have discovered something that I have not noticed before.
Maybe it was me being mature enough to actually understand the movie’s central idea, or I was approaching it from a different angle than any other viewing before.
Some people will do anything to sell while some other people will find themselves on their backs for not closing a deal. It is a zero sum game. If you do not sell, somebody else will do that for you.
Disclaimer: I am not approaching this concept from the literal and physical procedure of selling and haggling.
If we try to explore semantically the activity of buying and selling — or simply a transaction — we understand that there is no limits on the applications of this concept. Essentially, any transaction showcases the Marshall’s Law of Supply and Demand and Newton’s Third Law of Action and Reaction, meaning: Two sides which affect each other exchange resources.
Take a moment and put the following into perspective: Almost every human relationship, to its core components, can be viewed as a selling and buying — sometimes even mutual two-way — transaction. And the usual resources exchanged are the two persons’ time, effort, power or monetary resources.
We are selling our companionship to our friends in exchange for their trustworthiness and their willingness to share some life experiences with us. We are selling ourselves to our bosses or to a potential job interview in exchange for a position or promotion. Myself included, I am right now selling to you my ideas and viewpoint towards the world in exchange for a few minutes of your time.
And even though services and products are not actually exchanged, we all need to be capable salespeople in order to manage to get our way. It is a skill that all of us need to utilize and still most of us fail to capitalize on it. Some of us do not even realize the incredible gravity it is holding in our lives. We think of it as a redundant skill that will come naturally when we possess the confidence and the certainty of the team’s star player.
Well the bad news is that maybe we will never reach this level of confidence.
The complimentary worse news is that a person’s performance and value has little to do with how they are carrying themselves.
Meeting the requester’s needs
Many a time, someone who is less skilled or capable will receive the promotion we have been striving to get. We will lose a partner to someone who is less beautiful or funny. We will lose an argument, despite the fact that we are the supporting the side which is, clearly, on the right.
The common denominator of all those scenarios is not our inability to perform, but our opponent’s ability to sell themselves. And they will do that because they will convince the other party that they will manage to meet their needs in a better way — as we said a simple Supply and Demand game.
It all boils down to who appears to meet the needs of the other party in a better way.
They sell a lesser product than us but in a better package, in a more desirable price and with a better brand name.
Maybe they have been advertising their products for longer or more vividly than us.
Or maybe they have a pitch line, full of character and sophistication, which they have been practicing for years.
And the more we analyze the selling aspect of the above social situations, the lesser the product itself matters.
It all boils down to who appears to meet the needs of the other party in a better way. Who reacted more efficiently the other party’s needs. Who possesses the legitimacy to close the sell.
This is why an individual’s personal brand is important. Curate it and there is a high chance that you will benefit from the way people see you. Enrich it and you will see heads turning your way. Advertise your specialization and you will be considered as an authority in your field of knowledge.
This is the way for you to advertise that you are capable of solving issues, of meeting the other ends requests, of being the person with the ownership and the ability to act.
And this is the main reason why everyone needs to take the time to carry themselves and their product in a more appealing package. If your product, which is an extension of yourself, is not eye-catching enough then you will be easily overpowered by competitive offerings of similar or even lower caliber. While if you stand tall, the difficulty to fall prey to lesser opponents becomes slimmer.
But why don’t we sell our selves sufficiently?
The main challenge with this concept is that most people confuse personal branding and advertising with bragging and empty boasting. They feel that the main action of the selling process is the manipulation of their co-discussant and that they need to toot their own horn in order to achieve that.
The all-go-no-show mentality can be more catastrophic since your true value is undermined and you are not viewed as the person who is up for the task.
Thus, they prefer to stay silent and to let their accomplishments do the talking for them. They take the high moral ground solution. They stay true to themselves by not waving their own flags.
However, such a passive approach will only undermine their personal brand and the achievements they have done. It downplays their capabilities and virtues. And most definitely does not work synergistically to their ambitions or help them win an argument, make more friends or get the promotion they wanted or to meet any demand it lands on their lap.
And before you misjudge me, I am not trying to indoctrinate you in an all-show-no-go cult. What I am trying to underline is the opposite: the all-go-no-show mentality can be more catastrophic since your true value is undermined and you are not viewed as the person who is up for the task.
But if none of those two approaches are faulty what is a person supposed to do?
Well, obviously, binary thinking is not an ally in this debate, thus, we need to to find the solution in the gray zone between those two ends. And the equilibrium between substance and advertising is a personalized procedure and can be settled through trial and error.
But as a general principle, if you are, often enough, resentful and bitter about other people with less talent or skills overtaking you, then, most likely, you are investing way too little in your personal branding. You are selling too badly. Your product sucks (on the outside at least). And the prospects pivot to your competitors for more complete solutions to their problems.
At the end of the day, you should be able to stand confidently and tall and communicate in an assertive manner your skills and personal idiosyncrasies.
You should be able to convince your friends and significant other of what a treasure of a person you are.
You should be able to remind people of the times that you were up for the task and that you were there for them.
You should be able to advertise your caliber regardless of your co-discussant.
And if your strategy does not work, then, do not stress yourself too much. Play the Supply and Demand game by listening to the side that demands. Take the requirements and special needs the other side has, as feedback, and put your best foot forward. Attempt to move towards your goals and ambitions by helping the others to meet their own needs.
It means the world when you can actually achieve to make other people see you, as you see yourself. The talented, skilled, beautiful, funny and competent human being that you are. And it means even more, when you help them solve a problem they are facing.
Of course, you can also take the high moral ground and stay silent and assume that you will be noticed somehow someday. But that will not get you far. Or at least in my mind, it will not get you as far as the other option.
Did I manage to sell my viewpoint to you?
Peace and tranquility.
