What will happen in 5 years?

5 years ago,

I said, “I’m going to be a field engineer and work all around the globe.”

4 years ago,

I said, “Wow I think I’m made for this. I should just be a reservoir engineer instead and work at an office. Get a job that requires the minimum time at field possible.”

3 years ago,

I said, “I don’t think what I’ve learned so far is enough, I’m gonna apply to grad school. That way, I could have a real career in reservoir characterization.”

2 years ago,

I said, “If I couldn’t even get an admission offer from A&M, how am I supposed to get one from UT?”

1 year ago,

I said, “Wow, I’m really good at this. Maybe, I should apply for a Ph.D. in this subject.”

Now,

“I’m graduating soon, and for sure, I will not apply for a Ph.D. program now. Is this even for me?”

As I write this post as a response to this week’s prompt, I realized how I changed my mind so many times.

The five-years-ago me would think that by now I would be somewhere in the Middle East, working so hard that I wouldn’t even keep track of how much I tip at restaurants. Working so hard that I would buy my weekly groceries at an overpriced organic-locally-sourced fair-trade store.

None of that happened.

Now I find myself here at a coffee shop in Austin, TX, writing my medium post instead of preparing my upcoming job interview, wondering to myself: “What will happen in 5 years?”

I don’t know.

Although,

What if in 5 years I’ll be able to pick up my violin again. Maybe I’ll be able to play Edward Elgar’s Salut D’amour I listened so often in middle school. And how about that violin solo in Chrisye’s Cintaku song? Or at least I’ll be able to put my niece to sleep with that Twinkle-Twinkle Little Star song.

Or maybe, I will learn how to be a better cook. Maybe I’ll be able to properly make fresh pasta, bake choux pastries, or even cook up some Texas BBQ Brisket. Maybe I will master the art of grilling with coal. Or even better, learn how to cook sous vide.

But above all that, in 5 years I do hope to be a better person than now. Someone who is independent and comfortable in my own skin. Secure enough with myself that I wouldn’t need approval from other people besides me. To be stronger in my faith and to have love so deep the ocean would be envious.

So maybe it was never about what I will do for a living.

Maybe it was never about how my career will look like in 5 years.

Maybe it was just about me being able to rekindle with my lost love for music, to challenge my passion in culinary, and perhaps to learn how to always say to -myself, “that’s okay, God has it all figured out, just follow Him.”