(ChatGPT co-blog): The Power in Rejection

As I sat down to write this post, I found myself reflecting on a hot-off-the-press rejection letter I just received for a fellowship. I’ve received two other such rejections over the past few months, and they seem to follow the same pattern. I get to the final round, then…no dice. But there’s something I’ve come to realize: while I’m selective in where I apply, it turns out in hindsight that they often don’t align to my path. Instead, it’s the unexpected wins that seem to have the most significant impact on my life goals.

There’s a powerful book called Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes, which documents her journey to challenge herself to say “yes” to everything that scared her for an entire year. The book describes how this transformative experience led her to embrace new opportunities and experiences, ultimately leading to personal and professional growth. Shoutout to Knikole Taylor (@knikole) for introducing me to this book in her EduMatch Snapshot in Education (2016) chapter.

Beginning in 2013, I had a few years of saying “yes” professionally. I jumped into new things, like applying out of my area to present at educational conferences, organizing edcamps, applying for awards, and more. I embraced every opportunity that came my way, and this lasted for several years, perhaps until 2016 when I had to buckle down and finish my dissertation before timing out.

After completing my dissertation, I was pretty burnt out, and my time became even more precious. I still said “yes” to some things but also began to make myself more and more scarce. Around this time, I embarked on a new chapter: my personal life. When the pandemic happened, things came to a grinding halt — except for this area, which took off. I got married in December 2020 and focused even more on nurturing this new aspect of my life. I became pregnant in 2021, and my time and energy shifted primarily to this area.

Once I had my daughter, things were a bit chaotic. It took some time to find my footing again, but when I did, things started happening quickly! There’s nothing like having a baby to light a fire under you. EduMatch, an organization I founded that focuses on connecting educators, began to pivot. We rapidly scaled the professional development arm, and began securing more contracts and forming key partnerships.

We often share our wins on social media, but as I learned from Jennie Magiera’s 2017 ISTE keynote, it’s essential to be transparent about the rejections too. While the latest recent rejection stung a bit, I ultimately see that it’s for the best. Had I been accepted, it could have taken more time away from what’s truly important to me: first, my family; second, reaching my potential through my existing district work and through EduMatch.

As I’ve experienced more rejections lately than I have in a long time, it’s important to recognize the silver lining. For every no, there has been a yes; actually many more. I’ve been putting myself out there more, which means I’m back to my “year of yes.” Let the yeses continue in 2023, but let them be the right yeses.

In retrospect, it’s clear that rejection has its own power. It can help us stay on track, reassess our priorities, and ultimately find our way to the opportunities that are truly meant for us. Rejection may sting, but it’s a valuable part of life, allowing us to grow and learn from our experiences.

So, as we navigate through the ups and downs of life, let us embrace the power in rejection. Remember, sometimes the most significant opportunities come from the paths we didn’t initially choose. Here’s to a year filled with the right yeses, growth, and self-discovery.

What have been your experiences with rejection? How have you grown from them, and what lessons have you learned?