It’s All About Balance

Monday’s ceremony was the first religious ceremony I’ve witnessed or been a part of in a very long time. My family isn’t very religious, and I’m not even baptized, so religious ceremonies aren’t commonplace in my life. This may be part of why yesterday’s events seemed so beautiful and new. I’ve been an extremely cynical person, since I could talk (I figured out the secret behind Santa, the tooth fairy, and the Easter bunny when I was three). In addition to this, the last year and a half has not been good to me. Because of this, I’m too cynical and angry to be able to believe in any sort of higher power. I went in to the ceremony on Monday with the idea that I would be experiencing it without believing and without really feeling anything deep. What I didn’t expect was to feel so peaceful. The water poured on my head made me feel like I was being water-boarded, but it was a beautiful, flowery water boarding. Sitting and looking out to the ocean while covered in water and flowers felt so much better than it sounds. I wish I could say that the ceremony and the temples changed something inside me, or that I feel like a new person. Many times in my life I have wanted religion to turn to for support, but couldn’t believe in anything. I realized after it was over that I had actually wished the ceremony and the praying would change something inside me or heal me in some way. I found myself disappointed that another thing that might have helped me heal, didn’t end up helping me. I did find the ceremony to be beautiful and life changing, but not because of a personal religious reason. I love learning about religions, and being able to be a part of a ceremony, so different from what I’ve ever experienced or seen before will be something I will never forget. I wish we had gone to the healing temple first, because by the time we got there I was very tired, and my body hurt from sitting on the ground for so long. I found that temple so much more meaningful than the others because it was so intertwined with nature. Being able to close my eyes, hear the rain, and feel the energy of nature is an experience I don’t get to do very often. Maybe I was feeling the energy of the temple, I can’t really say.

I got to see more about what my project is on, and being able to talk to some people has changed my path a bit. I learned about the belief that everything has to be balanced in the world. The black and white fabric on the shrines represents the balance of light and dark, of good and evil. I want to focus more on the balance concept, because I find it very interesting, and connects with my spiritual beliefs in general.