Do my sartorial choices make you insecure about your masculinity?
“Men shouldn’t wear makeup!”
“Excuse me?”
“No, men shouldn’t wear makeup,” she pointed towards my friend’s eyes.
“What? Who are you? And why does what he wears matter to you?” I replied, confused.
“I’m just advising him out of concern,” she said. She seemed angry.
“Ma’am, we don’t even know you. Can you please mind your own business?” he said, losing his cool.
“Fuck you! People like you deserve to be beaten up,” she screamed out, as she walked away.
This incident happened a few weeks ago while a friend and I were walking home from a night out in town. Although he has been stared at in the past for his sartorial choices, and admittedly loves the thought of stopping traffic, this time, it was quite disturbing.
I didn’t need to go through this incident to know what some women and men (queer or otherwise) go through on a daily basis. They’re constantly told to ‘tone down’, ‘cover up’ or wear ‘appropriate’ clothes. I too have been told, on multiple occasions, to wear shorts of “modest” length.
Granted that he had a bold liner on, and the hemlines on his shorts were a bit high. But why are these people so angry about what some of us wear? Does he challenge their traditional notions of masculinity? Isn’t the idea that some of us should only wear certain clothes and look a specific way, such a rigid and old-fashioned way of thinking?
I believe that to be truly progressive, we should step out of our gendered fashion box — and do it in more dramatic ways than eye makeup and shorts with a five-inch inseam. While you will be guaranteed some backlash for playing with people’s gendered sartorial expectations, I urge you to carry on doing it. Let’s shock those who cling to traditional ideas of masculinity and start redefining what being a man truly means. If my friend’s masculinity (or femininity) challenges their age-old idea of what it means to be a man, then we know we are winning.
Do my short-shorts make you insecure about your masculinity? Do my bare legs cause you anxiety about your own repressed identity and sexuality?
Good, I’m glad.
Originally published at medium.com on September 18, 2015.
