Empress Merkel In Last Ditch Plea To Britons Not To Leave The Empire
Augustus Imperator Merkel, Empress of Rome, today pled with her subjects in the province of Britain not to leave the Empire:
“Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me the financial authority of your central banks. I come not to praise Jean-Claude Juncker, but to bury him. The evil that men does is better not talked about, the good often has to be exaggerated, so let it be with the Empire. The noble Cameronus hath told you that Borissii was ambitious. So let them stab each other in the backs and get it over with.”
Meanwhile the Menare and Relinquo factions, led respectively by Provincial Governor Cameronus and Senator Borisii, have been preparing for the final epic battle between their forces, which is widely expectedly to lead to the banishement and ostracism of the loser from whatever remains of the scarred remains of Northern Province.
Cameronus made one last rallying call to his forces:
Old men! Women! Take up arms and defend the Empire! We must not lose today or all is for naught and my legacy will be like toast!
Chief commander of the Menare Northern forces, General Corbynus, could not be reached for comment as he was preparing for a lute recital. A terse statement from his centurians noted that the General was “not really bothered” about the outcome.
“Either way, this is the first step on the road to final defeat”.
For the Relinquo faction, General Faragus saw this as a cumulation of twenty years of a career dedidacted to making to the Empire look as useless as possible.
This is it boys! The chance to kick Johnny Foreigner out of Britain for good — erm I mean to keep our borders secure from hordes of ravening Goths, to take back the reigns of power from the Polis and Procurators of Rome and to put it back in the hands of the Britons!
Augeries as to the outcome of the battle are unclear, with the Oracles at Delphi saying the result is “too close to call”.