Scotland Outlaws Criticism of Immigration

Scotland has become the first country on earth to make it illegal to critise any aspect of immigration and immigration policy.

First Named Person For Life Nicola Sturgeon

Announcing the new decree outside of Scotland’s Parliament, the country’s leader First Named Person For Life Nicola Sturgeon explained:

It is vital that we do everything we can to support people who have gone through unimaginable hardships to travel accross the world to escape oppression. Any negative stories, jokes or publicity about immigration could be used by right-wingers and racists for their own loathsome and vile reasons. For that purpose, I have today declared that any public utterance which is not 100% positive about the benefits of immigration for everyone involved, will be a hate crime under Scots Law.

The measure complements the recent Racist Publications (Daily Mail) Act, which make it compulsary for any public publication or utterance related to the Daily mail to refer to the said outlet as a “racist newspaper”.

Speaking on behalf of the Secular Society of Scotland, spokesperson Winnie O’Brien praised the move:

Only by restricting so-called free-speech can we protect the rights of minorities from the 1984-like tyranny of people with agendas.

The first people arrested under the new law have been named as “Abd” and “Hasan”, two refugees from Syria, recently settled in the Isle of Bute in Scotland, with their familes.

Despite expressing gratutude to their hosts and praising the Scottish weather, both men had made statements which were not 100% supportive of immigration policy.

Abd, 42, who lives with his wife Rasha, 35, and their four children, said:

‘At first, of course, I was really happy to come to the UK. It is the mother of freedom.‘People treated me really well, really nice. Scotland is beautiful.
‘I love the weather. There are some people who like this weather and I like it. I like the winter. But for six, seven months now there has been nowhere to go.
‘There is no movement, there is nothing. I’m not bored any more. I am depressed now. I feel like I have one option now — to die here. Only die here, nothing else.’
Scottish Government Approved Literature, supportive of immigration policy

According to racist newspaper The Daily Mail, both Abd and Hasan said they were excited by the prospect of moving to either Glasgow or Manchester.

The racist newspaper also claims that Abd and Hasan were both imprisoned and tortured in their homeland and spoke of the huge relief to escape the district of Baba Amr in Homs, which was destroyed by bombing.

Both men have now been removed from their familes and imprisoned, pending assignment to re-education camps where they will receive ongoing therapy and support to ensure that they know not to read racist newspapers, criticise any aspect of immigration policy in case it encourages racism, or otherwise have any independent thoughts.