One Glass of Rosé
My feet were heavy on the streets of D.C.
Carrying a phantom
In the soles of my feet.
Walked a couple miles,
Probably three or four,
Listened to an album that you liked,
Guilted into temple
That Yom Kippur.
My head was reeling as I rode back and forth,
Staring out the windows
Of the nighttime Megabus course.
Looking for an angel
To put my mind at ease,
Settling on you,
And the cloud-like curve of your cheeks.
Maybe I got reckless,
Or I was just bored.
I’m constantly running in circles,
Not really going towards
Anything,
I think of too many things
That I’d be better off to ignore.
Maybe I got reckless,
Or I was just bored.
I’m constantly running in circles,
Not really going towards
Anything,
I think of too many things
That I’d be better off to just ignore.
If my eyes were the color of that mailbox,
Think that you could love me then?
If I was a little bit older?
Had wider shoulders?
Was worlds less innocent?
If I didn’t lack faith in God
Unless I wanted something bad?
I won’t take back what I said
Because I meant every word of it.
I’ve never lied to you,
Maybe you would’ve preferred me to.
I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve ever felt
From the very start,
We both knew there was no way this could ever end well.
I’m a smart girl but I’d ignore my foresight,
I’ll change my schedule to fit your nights.
I’m much braver than you’ve ever been,
You think this is easy?
Putting myself in your hands
Just to be dropped over and over again?
The ground where you walk is sacred
Like the airport floor in Tel Aviv,
I know my logic is half-baked and
My friends were terrified of what you did to me.
This ain’t the Western Wall,
It’s just the tarmac,
But I bend too easily
To just go back.
I’ve already made the call,
There’s nothing anyone can say
That could change a thing
At all.
I would never kill you Goliath,
But God, you make me feel so small.
I’m proud of myself
For sticking up for myself this way.
Do you miss me?
I hope you do.
But you don’t miss me
Half as much as I miss you.
I wouldn’t take it back
Because I don’t regret it,
I was in love with you
And that’s brave and not pathetic.
You don’t scare me,
You can’t,
I’ve laughed in the face of things I hope you’ll never see
And never understand.
You don’t scare me,
You’re just a reminder of tragedy:
That I could build you a kingdom
But I still can’t make you love me.
I’m doing well,
I’m doing fine,
I act like you’re not on my mind.
I’m writing a lot,
So I guess that’s something at least.
I don’t write for you,
I only write for me.
I’m trying to put the past behind
And move beyond my misgivings.
I contend with ghosts
And they don’t want to share me with the living.
Think it’s time to sit with the living,
But you’re better company.
I’m doing well, I’m doing fine.
It’s not easy, it takes time.
I’m doing well, I’m doing fine.
I need to take my time
I need to take my time
I need to take my time
I need to take my time
I need to take my time
Need to take my time
I need to take my time
It’s taking so much time
I need to take my time
I need to take my time
I need to take my time
I’m gonna be just fine
Gonna be just fine
I can take my time.
My feet were heavy on the streets of D.C.
Carrying your phantom
In the soles of my feet.
Walked a couple miles,
Probably three or four,
Listened to an album that you liked,
One day I hope I can listen to it
When the thought of you
Doesn’t hurt me
Anymore.
Other Posts by Rebecca:
Ernest Hemingway In An 8am Psychology Lecture
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