White Cranberry Juice Tastes Pretty Good

And other takeaways from my first colonoscopy.

My beacon of hope on an otherwise stormy night. Author’s photo.

I had my first colonoscopy this week. I had to not eat for a day and drink a horrible concoction so that they could get a clear view of my colon. It was a weird experience, but I learned a few things, and I’m relieved to have received positive results.

Here are some takeaways.

1. The prep concoction wasn’t nearly as bad as I had been led to believe.

Don’t get me wrong, that stuff was nasty, and drinking it wasn’t fun. But they told me it was the vilest thing I would ever have to drink, and I’ve had worse, or at least can imagine worse. I didn’t gag once while drinking it, and my wife was a little horrified at how quickly I chugged the eight-ounce shots. But chugging anything at 4 am is never a good idea, and you shouldn’t believe everything they tell you because you’re likely to have your own opinions.

2. Writing is kind of like having surgery.

When I got there, they gave me two gowns, one that opens in the back and one that opens in the front, and told me to take off all of my clothes, even my underwear. A nurse came in and had me sign some forms, took my vitals, and hooked up an IV.