Thank you for the thoughtful response, I can tell you've been in this space for quite some time, and have thought through all this well.

I'm really sorry to hear about the abuse of the church and the experience you had. There is never an excuse for abuse, and most especially when done "in the name of God"

To be honest, we probably share much of the same distrust in the church. It's what kept me away from the faith until my mid-thirties. There is no shortage of hypocrisy, bad behavior and evil that comes from men and women that claim the name of Christ.

And what changed my heart was reading The Bible and seeing that it's always been that way, that Jesus is most severe to those who are more "religious" and that it is not the will of God to be like that. I believe that God was pursuing me all through my life, even when I claimed to be an atheist, and through His word is how he brought me back.

We're all broken, that's pretty plain to see, whether or not you believe in the God of The Bible. We all seek to save ourselves through fleeting endeavors and material idols, and still feel that hole in our hearts even after attaining our affections. That leads us to an ultimate dead-end, constantly pursuing, rarely satisfying. I call it a life of death because I've been there, I've lived it, and I know it to be true.

I can't say that I believe that all people are secretly Christian, I'm currently wrestling with John Calvin. But what I can say is that I'm not going to take the chance in not sharing the Gospel. I do think that being upset that someone is telling you that you're going to hell, when you don't believe in hell, is like getting upset that someone is telling you you're not going to Narnia, even though we know that doesn't exist. My reaction would be, and was when I was atheist, "Cool story, bro".

However, I don't think that's actually what is insulting.

If I'm hearing you right, you're more insulted and hurt that Christians believe that you, and other non-believers, are despicable, and are somehow lesser people than us "righteous" Christians.

To that, I'd say, the majority of Christians probably do act and think that way. I'm sorry for that. But those Christians haven't read The Bible very well, or truly understood what Jesus came to do. We are all sinners. Yes, even us Christians. We are all dead in our sin. I have felt that before I became a believer, and I can still feel that at times now. I just think about the emptiness I felt after a night of drinking, or after meaningless casual sex, or lying, or myriad other ways that I acted against my conscious. The good news of the gospel is that through Jesus we are now saved. What salvation looks like is still a real mystery to me, and I also struggle with the cross, and why that was the only way to save us. What I do know is that I don't have to live with that sin anymore because I have chosen a new life, one that is less focused on me and more focused on something greater.

The way you frame the good news is, indeed, mean, scary and not at all loving. I can see how many people receive that message. But what if we look at a different way? What if we were walking down the same street, and I came up to you and said that there's danger if you keep going in the direction you are headed. What if I told you that because I have already been down that road and know that it's a bad idea, and instead to follow me in the other direction. Would that be mean? Wouldn't it be even more mean, more unloving, to not tell you and let you find out for yourself? If I truly believe in the gospel and in the hope that Jesus brings us. If I were to really call myself a Christian, and believe with all my heart what Jesus says, that those who don't come to Him will perish, then wouldn't I do everything I could to save as many people as I could? Perhaps my tact can be off, but if my heart is in the right place, isn't that a truly loving thing to do?

I can also empathize with the "Do this or else!" perspective of religion. That's present in every religion. The other good news of the gospel is that we are not saved by this way of being. We are saved by faith alone, not by our works. That's a whole other topic for a different time. I have an alternative perspective to the one you presented. What if we looked at what God wants for us less from a "do this or else" view and more from the view of doing things in the way God designed us to as a way to ultimately lead us to human flourishing and a fulfilling relationship with The God of the Universe and with others? What if we didn't see God's wrath as a punishment for not pleasing a cantankerous man in the clouds, and more as a natural consequence of our choice to be our own gods?

I don't view "doting on Him all the time" as pandering to an almighty narcissist, but rather an urge for us to recognize ourselves as small pieces of the infinite, and to put into perspective the beauty and love of our created world. It brings me to tears when I think about how amazing everything this world is made of, and the love that God has shown me throughout my life, even when I denied him.

This vengeful and jealous God is the same that wants our hearts. Hosea 6:6 says this, "I don’t want your sacrifices—I want your love; I don’t want your offerings—I want you to know me."

What if all of this religion, the ugly and the beautiful is really for our best interest? What if all God wants is to have a relationship with us, to show us how beautiful life really can be, if we trust Him, fully, and follow what He's set out for us?

This is what I see in the gospel, this is what I want others to see. And I'm sorry that the church has hurt you and separated you from this kind of relationship with God. I know you're one voice among many, and that is a real tragedy.

Thank you for engaging in this conversation. I appreciate your openness and willingness to respond. I hope to keep this going.