Some New Jingles For Coke?

Coke Is Based in Atlanta, and I Live in Atlanta, So Let Me Write Your Jingles and Slogans, Coca-Cola!

Coke’s a pretty good drink, but their jingles are a little old-fashioned. I can see the Coke building from my house sometimes, so I wrote five little ditties Coca-Cola can use in their commercials FREE OF CHARGE! Don’t even bother checking with the copyright office because this is all totally above board and definitely original compositions!

Coke Jingle #1

[Verse 1]
wellll COKE takes your thirst away 
to Guantanemo Bay 
for Vice President’s Day

that’s where Dick Cheney rolls a joint 
for all the vice presidents except for Pence 
smoke in Obama’s Coachella tents

Coke Jingle #2

[Verse 1]
Coke takes your thirst to jail
it’s the COKEshank redemption
And there is no bail
It’s me Morgan Freeman
help me fix a sail

on my boat in Zihuatanejo
All aboard the S.S. Pokémon Go
Andy Dufresne in a Poké Ball 
A Magikarp poster on the wall

Uh oh, he got out!!

Coke Jingle #3

[to the tune of “Fu-Gee-La” by Fugees]

[Verse 1]
Ha Ha Ha Ha, buy a Coke at the store, and
Ha Ha Ha Ha, throw it in the air like Mary Tyler Moore, and
Ha Ha Ha Ha, You have to respect PEPSI, cause I’m “Mary Ty” when I’m super-high on the COKE-Gee-La (and Adderall)

Oooh La La La
It’s the way that we throw Coke when we’re doing our thang
Oooh La La La
I put Adderall in a vending machine
Oooh La La La La La La Lalala La Laaah
Sweeeeet Coke
She love me like Mary T. Moore…
Hey Hey

Coke Jingle #4

[Verse 1]
Coke takes your thirst away 
Live to sip another day
Fight the ghost of your thirst
Honor the spirit of the first
Dude who ever drank a Coke
Roll up in a soda hearse

So just marry Beetlejuice and say Goooodbyyyyeee
to the Pepsi curse!

Coke Jingle #5

[to the tune of “Roxanne” by The Police]

[Verse 1]
Red Can
You don’t have to wear that dress tonight
Sting said he’d give me money
If I’d let him fly my kite!

Red Can
You don’t have to let Sting fly my kite
Red Can
Ben Franklin had an orgy and loved kites

(Red Can) Please help me hide kite
(Red Can) Please help me hide kite
(Red Can) Please help me hide kite
(Red Can) Please help me hide kite
(Red Can) Please help me hide kite

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