On the Most Important Endeavor of My Life
by Cristian King
My favorite professor once said the study of literature was both “one of the most useless and one of the most important endeavors in the world.” To me then — as sometimes now — it was the single most important endeavor in my life. The study and art of literature is to ask some of the most fundamental questions of what it means to be alive. How could I even begin to search for the answers if I didn’t first know the questions? It was Toni Morrison and Shakespeare and Virginia Woolf and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and countless other writers who offered answers, guidance, and perspective. I was not a scholar — I was a mediocre student at best — but my studies, I believe, made me a kinder, more compassionate, more aware person.
Years later after college I would read a poet who asks:
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
Can you answer this for yourself, reader? I can. I can answer the question of how I will earn a living, but, more importantly, I can answer the question of what kind of person I would like to be, of what kind of life I would like to live. This is the precious gift of my education.
Still, that does not mean I did not have my doubts and struggles with my studies. During my senior year of college, I often thought with dread, ‘This is not the life I imagined I would be living — how did I end up here?” Again and again the phrase would pop in my head: while folding shirts, riding the train to work, showering, or during lunch on vacation in my hometown.
I feared I had squandered my college years studying something impractical. I studied English Literature for no other reason than I loved to read. It was passion lacking practicality. My peers, however, had seemed to be blessed with the intersection of passion and practicality: they were learning how to market developing tech to consumers, how to solve the mathematical calculations required to properly construct a bridge, how to determine the interaction of medicines with the human body.
I don’t mean to suggest that they did not also have their doubts — I know they did. During senior year, all you do is commiserate over the uncertainty of the future with your friends. But I did feel as though their education had better equipped them with the tangible skills they needed to successfully transition out of college.
In the bubble of college, it was acceptable enough for me to live for my studies, but it could not last. The economic realities of a college education were banging on the door, and it was becoming more and more difficult to ignore. My capacity to compartmentalize my life — here was me as a student, there was me as a retail worker, even further away was me as a soon-to-be “real” adult — was unraveling. I could no longer say, “I will figure it out later.” Later had become now, and I still had not figured anything out. How could I confront the very real, very practical questions of how to earn a living, pay back my loans, or buy a house? How could I justify the past four years? Where was I to go next?
I had forgotten a lesson countless people had taught me (which I now also teach my students):
Your major does not determine your destiny, and your education must not be solely about career preparation.
I am not a fool. We do, of course, live in a society that demands students take on more than ever before: internships, leadership experience, skills more tangible and measurable than critical thinking. But, reader, if you are preparing to enter college, I beg you to please remember that you can achieve these things and explore the beauty of learning at the same time. They were never mutually exclusive for me, and they never will be for you. I just did not have the awareness I had now. It’s unfortunate, but true, that some things simply come with age.
(By the way, my English Literature education helped me develop numerous skills which prepared me to begin my career. My passion never lacked practicality. Even though I probably won’t be buying a house anytime soon, I am earning a living and am more than comfortably paying back my loans. I do not need to justify those four years to anyone. Who knows where I will go next? I do know, however, wherever that may be, I will carry my education and all it gave me.)
I will leave you with this: the day of my graduation is warm with a soft blue sky. After the ceremony, my family and I go to lunch at a beautiful cliffside restaurant overlooking the ocean. By chance, our waiter is one of my fellow English classmates. He is not graduating this year, but congratulates me with a smile so kind and sincere that my heart feels as though it might burst.
In less than a week I will be gone from this city. In less than a month I will move again to a new city to begin my first post-college job. I will pack away my books and clothes into my car. I will not know it at the time, but this job will be a life altering experience — one which frames the following years with further clarity of what a fully lived life could be. It will not be the life I imagined, but it will be a life I am truly grateful for.
I will arrive in my new city after two straight days of driving. And, finally, when I settle into the room I will be subletting for the summer, I will begin to read a novel.
Originally from San Diego, Cristian is a first-generation college student who graduated from San Francisco State University with a B.A. in English Literature. After graduating, Cristian served as an AmeriCorps member at City Year Seattle/King County mentoring 7th grade students. This life changing experience solidified his passion for equity in education, and he dedicates his work to the incredible students he served. Cristian believes every student deserves access to higher education and is thrilled to be a part of the ScholarMatch family. In his free time, you will find him nose-deep in a novel, lost in thought at an art museum, or watching professional e-sports.
#MyCollegeStory is a ScholarMatch original series highlighting the diverse and varied journeys to and through higher education. Check back each month for new stories!
