High Dive: A Metaphor for Life

by Livy Porter

Around the third week of my freshman year of college (my highest and most daring dive thus far!!), I was sitting in my spacious double bedroom — on a hot Ohio night — typing in different configurations of “tight, black, short, skirt, dress, sexy” into the eBay search bar. After the search left me empty-handed, I began to raid my nicely organized dresser (honestly, I found some cute things on eBay — I just didn’t want to pay the $10 shipping and I also didn’t know where the post-office was). I ended up finding my black American Apparel miniskirt from 8th grade amongst my underwear and socks (I think I used it to wrap a mason jar [so small I could only fit one jar]). The second my roommate went to use the microwave in the common room, I slipped that skirt on and spent the rest of the night wishing I hadn’t. I can honestly say this ended up being the most uncomfortable night of my freshman year. I couldn’t walk, bend, or dance without this headband of a skirt riding up to my belly button (also what underwear are you supposed to wear?!) Anyway, this was my plie off the cliff — the deep squat right before the jump — the night I realized I’d much rather drop it low in baggy silk pants than go to the bathroom every 30 minutes to pull my skirt down and untwist my underwear.

1. Find a cliff with an appropriate amount of water beneath it.
2. Surround yourself with people who will laugh WITH YOU when your bathing suit falls off after the dive.
3. Choose a decent sized cliff — it doesn’t have to be the size of Mt. Everest but challenge yourself and step out of your comfort zone!
4. If you are afraid of heights, don’t jump because everyone else is jumping.
5. If you are afraid of heights, you’ve probably already stopped reading this to go get a glass of water or to dry your hands (I know this because I’ve already done both).
6. Maybe try water aerobics?
7. Don’t worry about the picture; be in the moment!
8. Practice the motion of jumping a couple times but don’t think too much about it.
9. After you pull out the wedgie that’s been bothering you for the past ten minutes, sink into a deep squat.
10. Just jump!!