If It’s A War They Want…

by Grey…

If it’s a war they want…

If it’s a war they want then they’ve got the fixings for a hell of a good fight. I see people dying at rates that are unnatural and horrific. Dying in ways that are inhumane and murderous. Leaving behind swollen bodies and countless arguments on who’s to blame! And who is to blame. The officer? The courts? The government? The victim? Yourself?

I personally always blame myself because in my mind these events could have been stopped and prevented. And in my mind I could’ve done more to make sure something like this didn’t happen.

I now know the feeling of empathy and sympathetic value because this world, this country, this state, this town Im currently living in have taught me it in the most cruel and absurd way. I’ve seen pure hatred in people who aren’t supposed to hate! In people that I’m supposed to trust!

A cop shouldn’t be someone that strikes fear into the hearts of innocent people. But they do. They do because they have weapons and authority to take a life away physically or metaphorically. That’s a lot of power to have. And like we’ve learned through out history. People who have power sometimes are not fit to have it and many abuse it. I don’t have to tell anyone that. I don’t have to explain the differences between murder and defense or go into detail about the history of police brutality in black communities because you know that. That’s all that any of us will ever bring up at times like this because those things are facts — no one is going to question it or oppose it, they’d obviously look like an idiot if they did that.

So instead I’m going to tell you my opinion.

Our murders have been covered up and our murderers have been set free, given higher salaries,and made to seem like victims! I wouldn’t trust such kangaroo courts to do the right thing. I wouldn’t expect for any judge to rule in our favor. So I don’t wait for judicial justice in any of the 1000’s of cases pending that are all to similar to each other. We see the headline almost every month and it goes something like this…

“Black __________shot dead by Police in ___________, claims it was self defense”

(Attach a photo of the victim that looks threatening or like the person was bad)

“Blah,blah,blah apparently was doing this (non threatening or dangerous thing) and was stopped and told to put down a (weapon they didn’t have) then the officer shot and killed them.

“The victims family speaks out and protesters have already started crowding the streets and a memoriam has been made in their honor”

(Then the news casters say words like “sad” and “spark a conversation” and “gun laws”. Then say “Now onto Kim Kardashian committing to love and who did wear it best”!)

Seeing these types of news reports sickens me to my core. A life is supposed to mean something before death just as much as it does after! This isn’t a trendy and friendly topic. This is murder. It’s televised and product based and sold to the highest bidder. I’ve seen more violence in movies then I’ve seen sex or love making (not that I’d want to see that) but why is violence so easily accepted by our culture. When I see people being nonchalant to someone being suffocated or beaten to death I wonder who is to blame for that conditioning. I shouldn’t shrug at the fact that a cop put a gun to a man’s chest and blew him away. I shouldn’t and I don’t but I feel like I’m not responding in a big enough way to make any real difference. I feel like the protest and the post and the essays are all being ignored. Don’t you?

I’m not asking for gun control and I’m not asking for no police! I just propose that maybe since we have all these officers with very radical, impulsive, and violent tendencies we refrain from using real bullets. A man told me that he rather wake up in a hospital then not wake up at all. Now obviously all weapons can help or hinder your life expectancy but let’s not act like the weapons use themselves.

People kill people! People kill people! People kill other people!

I may be too young to understand the plight of my people in this country and practically any other because I didn’t live in a mostly militant and racist society. But I’m slowly but surely realizing that history is trying to repeat itself in the worst way possible. We protest and march and shake our fist in the air peacefully. Almost never striking down on our oppressors and abusers. Black people are for the most part a peaceful people. Our history on this planet proves that we are docile even when sold into slavery, robbed of our land, taken out of books, convicted of petty crimes, called less than a person, turned away from jobs, constantly stereotyped and misjudged, held to higher standards, labeled as low class, treated like animals and idiots, shot down in the street by police who sit and watch us die then leave us lying there cold on pavement! As a race of humans on this planet with all the mental and physical torture we’ve been put through I’m not surprised at what happened in Texas.

“Negroes

Sweet and docile,

Meek, humble, and kind:

Beware the day

They change their minds!

Wind

In the cotton fields,

Gentle breeze:

Beware the hour

It uproots trees!”

― Langston Hughes

You push people enough and they are going to push you back…eventually.

This isn’t me justifying killing cops. But I’m not going to lie to you and say that I didn’t feel gratification once I read the news. I felt really good for a moment after reading that my people fought back and defended themselves. I’m not a evil person and I don’t believe anyone should decide other than the universe who lives and who dies. I’m just stating the fact that we all knew one day if these white police officers kept killing innocent or unarmed black people that the response was going to be deadly. An eye for an eye is the leading principal in an act like this one. You took ours so we take yours is the slogan.

I can’t sit here and say to you that a small part of me didn’t want to say, “Well thats what those cops get, about time somebody did it instead of just sitting back and saying they would if they could.” And that small part of me fails to use wit and brains and focuses more on the emotions I was feeling. But I try my hardest not to be a hypocrite. Those cops that were killed didn’t kill Alton Sterling and they didn’t kill Trayvon Martin and they didn’t kill and cover up Sandra Bland’s death. And even if they did… we as people on this planet cannot do exactly what the guilty police officers did! That doesn’t make us any better! We then have blood on our hands! Righteousness and equality are not enforced by more hate and violence!

I get that we are tired of not seeing results. I understand that many of us are scared for ourselves or a second party. I understand that that could have been you. I understand that that could’ve been me! I understand that a mother has to bury her child! And I understand that we are fucking angry and hurt and want to feel like we’ve done something to protect ourselves and respect the ones who’s lives have been ripped away from them! I understand that I’m falling on deaf ears and preaching to the choir at the same time. I understand.

If I could lock all the evil murderous monsters away in a dungeon and throw away the key, I would, but I can’t. They keep letting them loose and letting them live their lives as if they haven’t done anything horribly wrong. It’s like rewards are given out every time a cop kills a black kid. Nothing more than a slap on the wrist for show and then back to normal office hours.

And who’s to fucking blame for this. Who’s to blame for white people thinking that black people are threatening and dangerous. Who’s to blame for guns being given to people in authority who are not fit to handle them? Who’s to fucking blame for all of this fucked up shit!!!!!

Who the hell is it. What the hell is it and where did it come from?

I don’t know.

But we must find any peaceful and proficient way to help the families of the victims and let’s get the world’s attention once we do! We will not let another black person’s or any person’s calculated or uncalculated murder be given to the demographics and media platforms without something actually visibly changing!