How to deal with unhappy and angry customers
One of the topics I’m most asked for in my full course is how to deal with unhappy and angry customers. I will break this topic down into two parts: in the first one, I’ll give some reasons why customers get angry and how to solve them, in a practical way. In the next lesson, I will talk about a model that I created for the attendants to base their behavior.
Dealing with difficult customers is one of the heaviest tasks for many people in customer service. It usually requires a lot of emotional intelligence, since the client is probably in a state of high irritability. This means that any misstep of yours can be misinterpreted and have a huge burden on the company. After all, the chances of the situation staying the same with the customer or only getting worse are much greater than that of reversing the situation.
Therefore, many people come to me in my courses to talk and learn specifically about it. We’ll start by talking about why customers get angry, how to react when you’re in the middle of the situation and the first things to do. We will have a second part dedicated to a model of how to deal with unhappy and angry customers.
I always like to comment, when I talk about dealing with angry customers, that:
- It doesn’t matter if you feel empathy or not, what matters is your customer realizing that you care.
- You can’t discuss emotion, so you have to direct the conversation to solve the problem.
Why do customers get angry?
One of the things I always ask is, why do customers get angry? One thing that is interesting to take notice is that everyone knows that customer service is important. Many know that it is easier to sell to an existing customer or past customer than to a new person. And that recommendation coming from a customer is much more powerful than marketing and an unhappy customer causes much more noise than a satisfied customer. Despite all that, bad service still happens. Why?
Here is what happens: when I ask this question in my face-to-face courses, what I usually hear is that the customer didn’t look for the information, the contractor delayed the service, or that customer didn’t understand the information, etc. It’s very common to always put the blame on an external factor, even if it’s the team itself. But the fact is: the world is imperfect and customer service exists to deal with these imperfections.
In my experience, customers get angry for three reasons.
The customer didn’t feel heard.
This happens mainly when they are trying to talk to your team or to complain, but they either find resistance, or find the channel difficult, or have no response. You, while serving the customer, must always be accessible — but not always available. Customer service must be easy to find and to access.
Even if you don’t have the complete answer, at least say that you’re aware of it, that you are handling the request or complaint.
Your role as customer service is to give attention to all customers. A customer who doesn’t feel heard, even if they are not even angry, may well escalate the situation. If there’s one thing you don’t need, it’s a fairly satisfied customer turning against you and your company. Or even “the product is good, but the service is bad”.
Not feeling important.
After they feel heard, they want you to at least consider and understand their point of view. There’s a very quick reaction, I have felt it during my courses, in unconsciously demeaning or relativizing the pain of your client.
Even if you know how to use some resource or technology better than your client, you have to give the benefit of the doubt and not invalidate their arguments or feelings. This will only cause harm to your brand, we’ll discuss more about it in the next lesson. Cool?
Your client is important, no matter what stage they are at. Even if you are using scripted answers, for minor requests, they cannot be poorly constructed or leave room for misinterpretation. Your role is to show that, yes, you care about your customer and your voice is relevant — no matter how much you are paying (or not paying).
Misalignment of expectations.
It happens a lot. Your customer expected a different service from what you were going to provide. Sometimes they understood that something else was going to happen, when you never promised that.
This misalignment of expectations is very common in customer service and sales and makes it difficult to learn how to deal with unhappy and angry customers. That is why it’s so important to reinforce and confirm what is being discussed — no wonder that the confirmation step is in the recipe for the perfect message of Customer Success.
Be very concerned about having your customer on board with you, always understanding what they can and what they cannot expect from your service. If you frequently receive complaints like this, try to check that there is nothing in your sales process, on your website or in the way you treat your customers that might make it sound like that. If it’s repetitive, probably some pattern can be found.
In fact, it may even be that your client is so used to it because of your industry, that you have to proactively say that you are not going to do it. It’s like arriving at the restaurant and not having anything to drink. Is it a customer’s right to complain if the restaurant didn’t tell you upfront that they don’t sell drinks? Is it an obligation to sell drinks? Well no. But it’s such a common practice that now everyone expects it.
How to deal with unhappy and angry customers:
Remember: it’s probably not about you. If you take a stance that you are there to bridge the gap between the customer’s complaint and the solution, it can be easier to solve the issue. I know, easier said than done, I also struggle with that sometimes, but it’s true. It’s probably not about you, it’s about the company you work for.
The first thing you should do, without a doubt, is to listen to the other side. You have to give care and attention to your customer, with a genuine intention to understand their point of view, what happened and why they are complaining.
Ask questions, show that you care and say that you’re sorry that they are having that experience. The important thing here, in the first approach, will be that you show yourself available to them and that your customer is important.
Ask for more information, make the person tell their experience, find the root of the problem. This makes it easier to deal with unhappy and angry customers if we solve it directly instead of making inferences. Our role is not to judge, it’s to accept the facts.
Taking action:
Now that you’ve heard them, you must show empathy. One thing I have in mind is that, in customer service, it doesn’t really matter if you feel empathy. That is, you “feel what the other person feels”, but actually show it. It’s comparable, in my view, to you feeling that you’re a good person, but not behaving like one.
Say that you are sorry, reinforce that you understand that the person is frustrated or angry. And that they have the right to be that way, as it’s a normal feeling. Finish by saying that, despite the fact that it happened, now we’re going to work to resolve the issue and end up with a good experience. This makes it easier to deal with unhappy and angry customers.
After listening, it is important that you accept the facts, not ignoring the feelings, but keeping focused on what actually happened. Repeat to the person only the facts, without claiming that the fault is in the person, but that something is not happening.
You could say “so you’re having difficulties with the portal”. But the best would be “I understand. Would you like to access the student portal? I’ll make that work for you.”
It is always nice to give the person options, so they can choose a path that is more pleasant to them. Remember, they had a friction with the experience and it’s our role to turn the case around. That way, we can have the optimal solution at hand, but for the person it can be an extra job. Get it?
Even if you give a more costly option, the person can choose it, since they may realize that it will be less onerous to them. In addition, people feel much happier when they are in control of the situation. So a decision that the customer made will give the impression that they chose that path.
Beware of the paradox of choice, alright?
How to calm unhappy and angry customers:
Last but not least, if your customer is very angry, let them speak. Often, the person just needs to express their anger. If they’re too serious about it, don’t worry about asking too many questions now, but reinforce that you’re listening. Don’t think about answering now, let alone apologize. Even if the person makes a mistake in their judgment or narrative of the facts, deal with it later.
Angry customers often just need some space to voice their feelings. Be patient.
Depending on the anger level, show empathy by saying things like “I’m really sad that this happened to you, tell me more”, or even pointing to specific questions. It will show that you care.
We don’t discuss emotions. Your focus here is to “change” the person’s mental state to one that is more rational, only then will you be able to talk to the person. Not because feelings are not important, but emotions you feel, you live them, it’s not up for debate. There is no negotiation. As long as the customer is in an angry state, there will be no room for discussions.
It may even be the case that, after the person speaks and you realize that they’re still very agitated, you recommend that they go for a walk, thinking about their well-being, and that you talk later. There are conversations where I simply said: “I realize that you are upset. In order for us to arrive at a conclusion and design a way to solve this situation, I suggest we talk later. Is it possible?” And it worked.
Final point on how to deal with unhappy and angry customers:
It’s important for you to understand that it may not be about you directly. Although it can often be that it was your fault, and that’s okay. Remember that people need two things: care and attention. And that the world is imperfect. It’s our role as customer service to deal with the imperfections of the world and give care and attention to people. Dealing with unhappy and angry customers is an uncomfortable part of the job, but it is part of it.
We will cover in the next lesson a very practical model on how to deal with these situations, how about that? Better than that, just twice that.
The article’s treasure:
In the end of each article, I will write a final recap for you to memorize the main takeaways.
This is what I presented in this article:
- We understood the three reasons why a customer gets angry: not feeling heard, not feeling important and misalignment of expectations.
- We also saw how to react when you meet an unhappy customer. A quick guide to help you navigate through these waters.
- Remember: it doesn’t really matter if you feel empathy, you have to show it too.
In the next lesson, we’ll cover the model that will help you LAY the ground before dealing with angry customers, a 9-step walkthrough and phrases you can follow to calm down and defuse the situation.
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Always look both ways. See you in the future.
