Biology Is Weird — No tears left to cry.
Sticks and stones may break my bones. Words may shatter my soul. But onions have access to neither and they still make me cry a river. — Alicia Enyinna.
Now, that is a pretty nice quote if I do say so myself. And it gives insight to the matter at hand today. The little devil veggie called an onion. Essential for health and taste, but a pain in the eye.
Onions are mostly made of water, carbohydrates and gut-friendly fiber but they also contain Vitamin C, Vitamin B6, folate and potassium. All of which are vital for good health and all that jazz. But onions seem to take offense to our desire for good living.
In another feat of evolutionary wonder, onions developed a defense mechanism against predators like us. They are bulbs and spend most of their lives underground so this mechanism also prevents critters from eating them. Onion cells release sulfenic acid and enzymes, which join together to produce a gas called syn-Propanethial-S-oxide whenever these cells are broken, whether by knife or by teeth. This gas is irritating to our eyes, so our body decides to defend itself.
Our eyes have ‘lacrimal glands’ which produce tears to protect them, whether from dust, allergens, smoke and basically any foreign or irritating substance. So, we cut the onion, it gets mad and blasts us with some sulfur, our body fights back by flushing out the syn-Propanethial-S-oxide molecules but the onion is undeterred and sends another wave, this constant back and forth is what shows up as you crying profusely. The sulfuric molecules making contact with our eyes is what causes the stinging sensation that predates the crying.
The sulfur content of onions is also responsible for the foul odor that shows up once we start hacking into the vegetable. And the odor it leaves in our mouth. And the one it leaves in our bodies (Or causes to leave our bodies. You know what I mean). It’s not the same gas that makes you cry but they have a common element. Even after the onion is ingested, sulfur likes to make itself known. Our bodies have no use of the sulfuric compounds produced in the defensive onions and look to expel them. Sometimes it goes through our lungs which is what causes the mouth odor, other times through our skin, which explains the other odor.
In essence, our eyes are stuck in the middle of a cold war between onions and our bellies. Other animals are deterred by the smelly and tear-inducing power of onions but we humans do not give up. However, this is the age of GMOs, i.e. Genetically Modified Organisms, and so we do have genetically modified onions called “sunions” that claim to have all the taste and none of the pain, but, I don’t buy that story.
Anyways, there are ways to combat onions without punishing your eyes, such as;
- Cutting under running water.
- Freezing the onion beforehand.
- Cutting in front of a fan blowing away from you.
- Wearing a hazmat suit with an oxygen mask.
- Cutting quickly with a very sharp knife.
None of these methods are a 100% effective but I’m sure there’s a bunch of other ways so google them if you want. Fair warning, goggles don’t help much because the chemical also triggers the lacrimal glands when you breathe it in. Smart onions.
That is it for today. Go out, dear readers and discover new ways to eat onions without crying. We are humans and we will not be defeated by mere vegetables! I hope you learned something or at least smiled once. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
