3 Tips to Shorten Your Stay in ‘Struggle City’
Everyone will visit at some point in their lives — “Struggle City.” Some of us are frequent flyers, and a few are lucky enough to pass through town rarely. We all know someone struggling — health challenges, work (or lack of it), financial woes, addiction, depression, and worse. Maybe you are visiting or living there right now. If so, you know the vacancy sign is continuously lit, and it is certainly not a vacation. Yes, we struggle because we are human. And the good news is that we don’t have to struggle alone.
In September 2019, I took up temporary residence on the outskirts of Struggle City in a dreamy Airstream pulled by my husband’s fictitious fully-loaded pickup. The road trip was prompted by my back surgery and featured an all-inclusive six-week recovery. Before my departure, I was registered as a student at Rush-Copley Hospital’s Spine School. Staff navigators issued my trip tik with needed information to pack the Airstream and walk me through my hospital stay, plus a nose swab for good measure. Yes, seeing all the equipment I had to acquire for my upcoming trip was sobering and motivating. My first reaction was, “I won’t need that,” to the grabber, squatty potty, and other suggestions that looked like they belonged in a nursing home. Well, I was wrong.
The realization that I should plan for and journal through my road trip was inspiring. I hadn’t visited Struggle City in a while but packed extremely well for this trip thanks to my medical team and friends, who stowed specialized equipment for such occasions. Good thing I didn’t fly… I needed the trailer to pull all the items to aid my safe recovery: walker, tray tables, shower chair, bed rail, and yes, even the grabber. I didn’t pack the squatty potty but made do with my grandmother’s needlepoint stool. Nobody ever said constipation is fun, but why not go with vintage when you can?
My extended stay was a total of six painfully slow weeks. I barely left the trailer the first week — it was a chore to get around and take care of the basics, not to mention picking up the many items too heavy or slippery for the grabber. Solid pre-trip planning lined up a cast of family and friends to stay or visit me to ensure my basic needs were met. My first adventure outside the Airstream was navigating the walker 50 yards to the stop sign, next down the block 200 yards, and graduating to around the block. Yes, it was a fall in Struggle City with yard work not to be done and rules to be followed: don’t bend, don’t squat, don’t twist, and don’t lift more than 10 pounds until the end of the sixth week. Slow and steady was thy name.
I practiced my impending disability before surgery, but nothing was more real than actually parking the trailer in Struggle City for a non-negotiable, non-refundable six-week stay. Block walking made its way to miles, and the walker was replaced by hiking poles as my medical team issued the green light to briefly leave the neighborhood with a 1–2 hour pass. Incremental progress was made each day and each week. The disabling L4 back pain I had before surgery was all but gone. So yes, the trip was worth it after all.
What are my three tips for the best stay? First, ask for help from family and friends before surgery. People are happy to help when you give them plenty of lead-time and are specific about the help you need. Creating a calendar of care is critical, especially to make sure they can all fit in the Airstream. All this groundwork led me to realize that the upside of being down is spending time with people you want to be around. Thank you to my friends and family for making my stay the best it could be.
The second tip is preparation. I got really, really organized with everything from food preparation to house cleaning and from countertop organization to pajama shopping. If you can take the bypass around Struggle City, why wouldn’t you? Passing the time during my recovery, I wrote up a 10-page manual entitled “Top Tips Before and After Back Surgery.” Highlights include equipment reviews, preparation checklists, and tips to make your recovery easier for you (and those around you). Very “Britta,” if you know me, so check it out for your detailed packing list. If you or someone you know wants a copy, send them the link or holler, as the windows of my airstream are nearly always down to catch the breeze.
A third tip is to use your voice to advocate for yourself with your doctors and care team. If you find it hard to speak up, be proactive and invite an ally who can help you pack, accompany you on your trip and be there when you need them. It is worth repeating — asking for help is not a sign of weakness but rather an invitation to be present. If you don’t ask for help, how can people know you need it?
Here’s wishing you only brief stays in Struggle City with good friends to share the journey and help carry the load. As for me, I returned home after my six-week trip of restrictions, rested up, and ready for my next adventure. That is as long as I don’t drop my grabber, cell phone, and car keys.
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Self-reflection: Is there someone in your life who has taken up residence in Struggle City? You can help shorten their stay or brighten up their day by taking the initiative instead of waiting to be asked to help. The residents of Struggle City appreciate a supportive text, note of encouragement, ride to the doctor, a healthy meal delivered, or short visit to listen. If you are currently dwelling in Struggle City, look me up and be encouraged to reach out to your family, friends, and local resources for help.
