Anxiety Is Our Newest BFF, Tough-Love Style
Much anxiety going around about removing that very anxiety. It is an endless loop.
According to a study (a statistical study summarizing all the viable data about the subject matter in all relevant studies) in 2013, as many as 28.3% of people globally reported symptoms suitable for a diagnosis of anxiety disorder.
The situations in different cultures vary, but clearly, anxiety is a looming cloud over us all. Instinctively, our reaction is to be rid of such negative emotions. That would be a huge mistake.
The Making of Anxiety
Anxiety is future-oriented. In other words, anxiety appears when we are anticipating a future negative event.
From this angle, then, those of us who feel like something in the present is invoking anxiety, what is really making them anxious is the anticipated negative result that might be caused by what’s happening in the present.
Indeed, anxiety often involves worry and rumination, a psychological term referring to the act of fixating on consequences (not solutions) of a problem, often carrying negative connotations due to what psychologists call negativity bias, where our attention is particularly gripped by negative aspects of an event.
Worry, while widely and normally experienced, needs a definition here to distinguish it from rumination. Worry refers to constant thinking and reflecting on the uncertain outcome of an event or endeavour. Rumination occurs when the outcome is certain, but the thoughts of a person are fixated on that outcome, as has been established by researchers.
Just imagine, for example, the situation where you’re certain you’ll lose your job in a month. Though the outcome of job loss and the strategy (to start looking for a job or apply for unemployment support programs) is certain, focusing one’s attention on that loss will ensure a whole lot of anxiety.
The same group of researchers have also found that people who worry have the belief that if they try or worry hard enough, the outcome might tilt in their favour, while those who ruminate dread over the fact that the outcome is out of their hands. One can see why they’d both be very anxious.
Underlying both of these, as far as I can tell, is the assumption that what we do in the present has a definite causal connection to what happens in the future. This is no surprise.
Research in child psychology found children naturally explore new explanations when there are inconsistencies in the ones provided. That means our need to find a coherent explanation for our experiences is inbuilt, to make sense of our little world.
From this perspective, it may be said that anxiety is the result of anticipation of the fallout of our current explanation of the world and with it, a future loss (or failure to obtain) something important to us.
If I were being honest, anxiety seems to be on our side as opposed to working against us.
Anxiety seems to be more like a BFF who’s got a judgment and attitude issue and is generally unpleasant. But, this BFF is good for us, at the end of the day, and though it’s a tough thing, I think it’s important for us to learn to love it.
Keyword is Future
Anxiety is future-oriented. While it always judges ourselves and efforts to be not enough for whatever lies ahead, inducing stress, distress, and even sleep loss, its judgment is not without value.
As covered above, part of anxiety comes from our negativity bias, the tendency to focus on the negative aspects. Evolutionary psychologists have established advantages to this bias which include greater chances of survival and contributions to learning, as it’s been found that people generally consider negative stimuli more complex and more informative than positive ones.
By fixating on the negative consequences, anxiety could serve our interest by providing information about what’s lacking from the present compared to a more desirable future. The main obstacle to our absorbing, analyzing and acting on this information is no other than worry or rumination.
Regardless of which one we engage in, we end up focusing on the negative consequences of an imminent problem, rather than solutions to it. If we keep thinking of anxiety as only an irritable emotion that’s best to be rid of, then on top of the problems we do have, we have to be extra-distressed about the anxiety itself. That can only make it worse.
The resolution of this strained relationship with anxiety may start by shifting our mindset. Although indeed, anxiety as an emotion cannot be controlled, much less willed away, we can still decide what to do with it.
Rather than seeing it as a mental health problem involving a nagging emotion, regard anxiety as a friendly messenger whose ways of communicating — granted — is a bit rough. It tells us what parts of our map to the future are being threatened, and therefore what actions need to be taken.
One way of achieving this is to remember our negativity bias — we are wired by evolution to focus more on the negative aspects. Noting down some positive things that are not affected by whatever problem that’s causing the anxiety can prevent us from cascading down the negative path.
Another effective way, according to the research finding that the main factors in anxiety — rumination and worry — undermine problem-solving, is to stop listing pros and cons about an anxiety-inducing situation.
Instead, use language like, “things that are still good,” and “problems to be solved,” emphasis on the latter in particular. As I said, anxiety is a messenger telling us that we’ve got a problem that should be treated seriously, so viewing the whole situation as a problem that can be solved will help us mitigate the anxiety (because, well, at least we’re listening). Plus, the first phrase cultivates gratitude, which is a powerful antidote to negative emotions.
Anxiety is a helpful, tough-love style BFF that is eager to have us solve imminent problems that are important to us. To be rid of it is a huge mistake. Instead, listen and work with it.
