Eating Disorders Choose Me As a Teen
I'm still suffering from them as all teens
Who doesn't wanna get a perfect body according to society's beauty standards? I want.
I have always had a bad relationship with food, as much as I admire food I hate it.
“Skinny is beauty” society says.
For me, I have always been a binge eater. Whenever I started eating I didn't stop until I felt that I'm gonna puke. Such a relationship with food isn't healthy at all.
I started dieting and quitting since I was 14, I had not any knowledge about what is healthy and what is not. I didn't exercise back then because I didn't know where and how to start, I thought walking is a good exercise so I did it.
One year ago when I was 18, I wanted deeply to reach my goal, lose weight and become fit. I started searching on google, I wanted to find a good diet that works for me, although I have a slow metabolism so it has always been hard to lose weight no matter how much I tried.
I lost weight at the beginning, but it was not as much as I expected. So I started focusing more on reducing my calorie intake.
I weighed myself daily, I was obsessed with the number on the scale. Every time I saw that the number was stuck and stable I would reduce my calorie intake even more.
I lost 9 kg’s in two months, my tight clothes became oversized, I was so happy with the results, and my weight was just healthy, but I didn't reach my goal weight yet.
To reach it, I had eaten 400 calories a day, which is dangerous, as an adult I have to eat at least 1200 calories a day. At the time, my body was convinced that it doesn't need food, and I really lost my appetite.
Food was not delicious or satisfying anymore, every time I forced myself to eat, I saw food just as a number of calories. So I decided to try something new, which was crazy but I did it.
After a month of eating almost nothing, I wanted to cut off eating! I started fasting, nothing went through my mouth except water. I couldn't do it for more than three days. Headaches were bad and I could barely do any activity.
Guess what happened then. Sure, I started eating again, gained weight, and became a binge just like I've always been. I think it's expected for people to switch from binge to anorexic every so often, especially if they have a bad relationship with food just like me.
I have met so many teenagers just like me, who don't like their bodies. But I believe that everyone can become confident no matter how they look, it comes by time and being used to look at the mirror, telling yourself that you are good enough, and believe in it gradually.
And don't be like me, never hurt your body by not eating!
