How ‘Ka onwu hu gi ndu’ changed my life.
It is that time of the year again when we look back at our new year’s resolution and try to achieve as much as possible in the shortest time possible to give ourselves an illusion of progress. A rat race we run in because we live in a society where we are strafed with opinions about what we are to do, how we are to do it and where to do it by faceless identities and nameless people. We find ourselves living for people’s approval — that it becomes hard to be our authentic selves. Clutched by human nature to be social creatures first, that we often forget our individuality for social acceptance — sidetracked by our environment, we resort to priding ourselves in fickle things and get threatened when we see someone in a better off situation than us. Our pride comes into question, and we become insecure. We forget the peace that comes with being our person with our thoughts, dreams and aspirations, creating your environment and being in charge of your happiness.
I forgot all of this and was in the same rat race until I stumbled on the proverb “Ka onwu hu gi ndu.” which is Igbo for “let death see you alive.” Puzzled by this seemingly paradoxical and personified statement I began to reflect on the meaning and how I could apply it to my journey through life. Death has no face, dreams, beauty or ambitions. It comes with no judgements; like a mirror, your reflections are what gives it life; it’s rooting for you. Death is final; it does not give second chances, as it is in no position to do so. It just comes and goes that its job. The idea of the proverb is not to focus on “living every day like it is your last” but as to just living, living for yourself, being kind to yourself, allowing yourself to start from scratch, living for yourself unapologetically. Do things because you want to do them, and you love doing them and doing the hard stuff, too, because they make you a better person. Do not bury the voice that doubts you. Hear it out, make peace with it and let it go. Be with people who love you and want the absolute best for you; distance yourself from people who do not bring you peace. Learn to say no because you can.
Accept change, aim for change. Work on yourself from a place of love and not hate. Love the process as much as the outcome; cut the aux on self-depreciation. Being kind to yourself is an intentional act; because of the amount of negative output and the pressure that comes from the world, it is sometimes hard to experience failure at your own pace, but the ultimate act of kindness is allowing yourself to fail and try again. I have had my fair share of failures. It sucks having to fail and start again, especially when you see people moving faster than you, but that in most cases, if not all, is an illusion because you are not running a race with anyone; you are on your journey. You need to internalise that you are not behind anyone when you fail. You failed, and that is okay; you aren’t a failure if you get back up. You are not late. You are right on time. You are always right on time. Experience the failure, cry because you can, feel bad because you can. It is part of the human experience. Life sucks but don’t give in.
And to this a poem:
When death comes, I hope it sees you smile
I hope it sees you crying
I hope it sees you planning and debugging
I hope it sees you experiencing love
I hope it sees you working on who you want to be
I hope it sees you kicking ass and taking names
Breaking boundaries and barriers
Getting tired but not giving up
Feeling everything and anything, experiencing the highs and lows
Finding the good in the bitter,
I hope it sees you working on the things you dreamt of
I hope it sees you dancing under the rain with childlike love
And When death comes, May it find you life. Isee (Ka onwu hu gi ndu)
