How To Turn Your Life Around
Six years ago my life was a mess. Today I graduated from college at the top of my class. You can read about my life story here, but in this story I discuss specific strategies that helped me get my life back on track. Making major life changes is a slow process — it often involves years of hard work. We all want to live fulfilling lives, but many of us get lost along the way. How do we find our way back after getting lost? This is one of the most difficult questions to answer, but it is also one of the most important.
Let Go Of The Past
Everyone goes through difficult times. Some people have certainly had it worse than others. Regardless of what you’ve been through, you will only be able to start fresh when you come to peace with your past. Forgive yourself. Let go of the mistakes you’ve made, knowing that they were stepping stones to something better. Forgive others. Let go of the pain other people have caused you, knowing that they probably only hurt you because they had unresolved problems of their own. Don’t let your past dictate your future.
Cut Off Toxic Relationships
The term toxic relationship usually describes a deeply unhealthy romantic relationships of some kind. Karen Young gives a very good explanation of what toxic relationships look like in her blog. Take it from me, you don’t want to learn this one the hard way. Avoid these relationships at all cost.
Make New Friends
If you’re living an unhealthy lifestyle, then you probably have friends that are also living unhealthy lifestyles. To change your lifestyle you need to stop spending time with these friends. Humans are highly impressionable; our behavior is influenced by the behavior of those we spend time with. These friends might be good people. It doesn’t matter. A fresh start requires cutting off relationships that are having a negative influence on your life.
You may think that you and your friends can change together. This is unlikely. Personal growth happens when you’re ready for it. You can’t expect your friends to have the same revelation as you, especially not at the same time. Everyone is on their own journey. Walk your path. Let them walk theirs.
Rethink Everything
Forget everything you think you know about life. Start learning about things you’ve never researched before. Start questioning things that you’ve always assumed were true. Spend time around people that challenge your worldview, and see how well your beliefs hold up to honest criticism. You will start growing, questioning, and reevaluating everything you thought you knew about life. This will help you build a strong foundation for your future.
Start Asking The Big Questions
Dramatic changes in life are often motivated by a desire for something better. Identify what you want out of life and work to make it part of your reality. Ask yourself questions like:
- What do I want out of life?
- What makes me happy?
- What is important to me?
- Where do I want to be in five years?
- What do I want to do before I die?
Don’t be afraid to ask these questions now; if you don’t, you may find yourself asking them too late.
Value Your Time And Energy
Start getting more picky about how you spend your time, who you let into your life, and what you give your energy to. Your time and energy are valuable, and the better you use them the more valuable they become. Stop wasting time on fruitless relationships and activities.
Prioritize Your Health
There are countless amazing things that happen when you start taking care of yourself. You often have more energy, more patience, and more optimism. You are often less anxious, less depressed, and less irritable. Neglecting your health will have negative consequences in every area of your life. Start taking care of your physical and mental health. Get sober. Stop stressing and stop worrying about what others think. Start eating healthy, start working out, and start getting more sleep. Self care goes a long way; you won’t regret it.
Find a Mentor
Mentors are people that inspire us and help us grow. They provide sage counsel and lead by example. Find a mentor to guide you as you embark on this journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Find someone that you admire and respect; someone with habits and traits that you wish you had yourself. I mentioned earlier that humans are highly impressionable; use this to your advantage. Learn as much as you can from your mentor and try to spend lots of time around them. One of the easiest ways to change your lifestyle is to adapt it to that of others that you admire and respect.
I have had many mentors over the years, all of whom dramatically changed my life for the better. You might find a mentor at work, at school, in an existing relationship, or in a new one. In any case, let these relationships develop naturally and be grateful when you find them.
Establish Habits That Support Your Goals
Humans are highly habitual creatures. This can be a strength or a weakness depending on whether or not you have healthy habits. If you have unhealthy habits then you are likely spending most of your time resisting unhealthy tendencies, eventually just giving in, and then inevitably feeling guilty about it. If you have healthy habits then you are likely spending every day doing productive things with little effort. Habits are a big deal. Take control of your life by deliberately developing healthy habits that support your goals.
Find New Hobbies
It’s important to enjoy life. You should regularly make time for the recreational activities that you enjoy. As you start to let go of your unhealthy habits, try to develop healthy ones that you also enjoy. I really enjoy playing computer games, reading, exercising, playing sports, going to beautiful places, playing board games, and spending time with family and friends.
Do Your Best And Be Patient
Try to do all these things at once. You probably won’t be able to, and that’s okay. Change happens slowly. Just do your best. You will start seeing progress sooner than you think, and this progress will motivate you to keep going. Just be patient and stay focused on your goals.
