Criticize Vs Advise
Criticism, while it may seem evil, is deemed necessary for this world to function. In the words of Elbert Hubbard, “To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.” But criticism is always lost in translation and presumed to be another form of its vicious cousin, unsolicited advice.
The problem with unsolicited advice is that the person who gives it heavily underestimates the negative impact it may have on the receiving side. It is very easy for the lines to fuzz between the two because people tend to misconstrue criticism as something negative. But if one were to reflect upon words, it is very easy to differentiate between the two. Criticism is something that would help you improve and while you are yet to realize it, it may pan out very well in the long run. Advice, on the other hand, can be categorized. Is it coming from someone who knows you personally? Is it someone who has been a mentor to you and feels like they could advise you to make a few different decisions? Or is it someone simply trying to set the world on fire?
Speaking of unsolicited advice, a lot of people would agree on the fact that it makes them feel a little uncomfortable and in extreme conditions, it affects their ability to think and perceive that situation incorrectly. Very often, such advice comes from people whose experience is based on pure hearsay and may not have experienced the same on many levels. But even the ones who are speaking from experience, may sometimes completely disregard your feeling and not understand the other side of the story. A woman struggling with PCOS would be advised to diet or lose weight, and in some extreme cases be convinced of the fact that there is some fault in her stars and she’s generally unlucky. A 12th standard student would be advised to choose a branch that would help him/her be “well-settled” rather than something that would make him/her happy and content in life. Sometimes people reach a level of saturation where they tend to make extremely rash decisions or tend to overthink themselves into panic and anxiety.
But there’s also a lot of rather strong-willed people who choose to take the good in the harshest of the words. In simpler terms, “They only gave, they didn’t take away” which is something I grew up listening to from my grandparents. They believe in the fact that there is always a scope for improving upon oneself and sometimes even in malice, lies a stream of truth. Having said that, not being able to take the good out of advice doesn’t make you weak, just sensitive. And in a world where survival demands street-smartness, sensitivity is a blessed virtue.
In summary, there will be a lot of advice and criticism coming your way; unsolicited, needed, unwanted, random. We’re all in charge of our frame of mind, and learning how to filter out what is necessary and what isn’t is something we need to learn. And as far as the people who continue to provide unsolicited advice are concerned, they could use some themselves.
