Why it’s time to build your network.
What I learnt from moving to two new cities in one year — it isn’t always easy. Growing up, we are gifted with the tent poles of our childhoods; school/sporting friends, family, consistent relationships built on support and years of shared experience. Though, when you move to a new city, all of that is ripped away and you’re left to build new social connections as an adult, from scratch. And for anyone who has seen the film, ‘I love you man,’ sometimes, it can be a strange and awkward experience.
I was born and bred on the Gold Coast. When I tell people this they are always shocked, as if I just said I grew up in a theme park raised by carnies. For me, Sydney was the ‘make or break it’ city you leap to if you want to have a crack at the big time. I moved there with no real connections or prospects and hustled away for six months. I had some great experiences and some seriously tough times. Just as I started to settle in, I landed a job with Network Ten in Adelaide and the process began all over again. Although I wouldnt change the experience for the world, one of the biggest things I learnt is the importance of social connection.
Countless studies have highlighted that relationships are an integral part of our wellbeing. As said by Martin Seligman in Flourish, “Well-being cannot exist just in your own head. Well-being is a combination of feeling good as well as actually having meaning, good relationships and accomplishment”. Also, as the video below explains, low social connection is actually worse for us than obesity, smoking and high blood pressure!
In studies of cultures from all over the world, it has been found that wellbeing is consistently influenced by the quality of human relationships. For example, in Hong Kong, people have been found to base their life satisfaction equally on self-esteem and relationship harmony. This then links wellbeing to happiness, as feelings of happiness are affected relatively more by the evaluation of others and one’s quality of personal relationships.
Social support is also found to help bolster your resilience. The research on resilience is varied, though one shining truth is the importance of social connection. Resilience expert Elliot Friedman said, “The availability of social support in all its forms — instrumental support, emotional support, support with how you think about things — they all matter and help us in facing challenge”.
The science is undeniable — this truly is an important area of life. So, I want to leave you with a few practical things to think about and propose a bit of a challenge. Something simple and actionable, which will benefit you (and your business/career) in the long run. Firstly, identify 1–2 key personal relationships you currently have and think about some ways you could strengthen or build those relationships. Some examples are calling them up and listening empathetically, doing something selfless, or scheduling in some quality time. Secondly, I want you to go out on a limb and extend your social or professional network. Whether it’s hitting up a new activity on Meetup, going to a networking function or getting setup by a friend on an awkward man date — you’ll thank me for it later.
