Game of Thrones 8.1 — “Winterfell” Episode Guide
Dany meets the Stark family, Bran creeps everyone the fuck out, and Sam & Jon get some real bad news.
😩 😱 GAME OF THRONES IS BACK, Y’ALL!!! 😱 😩
Mike: Ok, either these people really love Game of Thrones or they love Game of Thrones and wanted to create a viral tweet (mission accomplished). Either way, I ain’t watching Game of Thrones IN PUBLIC with beer all over me.
This tweet below is more my style:
This was also real AF for GoT fanatics that live in Chicago because we got hit with a snowstorm hours before the premiere. Annndddd my god almost every old person (over the age of 27 that still uses Facebook) made a basic ass post about this and received the proper 8–17 likes. 👵🏻 Good job 👴🏼
Benton: This about sums up my feelings of GoT returning (and also of Homecoming):
To the GoT haters:
Also, pour one out to this poor GoT fan who had two years to set his calendar and still fucked up 😂
Editor’s Note: If you haven’t noticed already, this isn’t your normal Game of Thrones episode review. It’s best to view this as a comprehensive guide to everything we want you to know about this episode.
There will be:
- Embedded tweets, GIFs, and screenshots of fan reactions and GoT characters
- YouTube videos of important GoT scenes and theories
- Scene-by-scene analysis from Benton, Sean, and me (aka the ScreenGods GoT team)
Our best advice is to grab a pair of headphones (or AirPods for you rich folks out there) and maybe a beer or a glass of Lannister vineyard wine to best enjoy the ride! You may be here for awhile.
Benton: SEX, LIES, MURDER, DRAGONS, INCEST, ZOMBIES, MAGIC TREES!
OPENING CREDITS TIME!!!
Benton:
AND THEY’RE NEW!!!!!!
🚨 👀 😱 NEW OPENING CREDITS OMFG 😱 👀 🚨
Here’s the Season 1 credits for comparison in case you think we had a little too much Milk of the Poppy:
🔎 🤓 IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS OF THE OPENING CREDITS ALERT 🤓 🔍
Sean: FUCK YES NEW CREDITS!!! LET’S GOOOOO!!!!
We start at the hole in the wall, because obviously.
And then we pass over The Last Hearth, which is sitting on a mountain that looks suspiciously spiraled. I’m sure this is just a casual effect and in no way related to anything that happens later in the episode. NOT IN ANY WAY RELATED.
Along the way, there’s this cool effect of the tiles flipping from snow white to blue, showing the progress the Night King is making on his way to kill every living thing that crosses his path.
The only other locations shown are Winterfell and King’s Landing, BUT we get cool extended interior shots of both to help give more sense of place. I like it!
At Winterfell, we get the Godswood, the Great Hall, and the Crypts. King’s Landing features bits of the Red Keep — a spiral staircase, the weird catacombs where the dragon skulls are kept, and the Throne Room. The three Winterfell locations and the Throne Room were all featured in this episode — Could the Staircase and the Catacombs be important later on?!
ALSO, I read in a BuzzFeed article that they are making subtle changes for each episode to hint at things that happen. How subtle? How much foreshadowing? We’ll have to see — I could see it being scene locations (like the Winterfell locations from this week) OR just really stupid minute things that we won’t really know the significance of until after the episode.
Additionally, the three featured scenes on the Astrolabe are different now! They’ve gone from showing scenes from Westerosi history to showing events we’ve seen on the show! Neat what cool things you can do when you’ve got an additional year a HBO just tossing money around.
Benton: I’m so glad we have Sean to do us this great service. I was just like, “Oh cool, they changed some stuff! I should read about it later,” and then just moved on with my life.
Mike: We’ll just blame business school for this attitude, Benton. You’re forgiven.
Meet the Starks: Dany & Her Dragons Arrive in Winterfell
Opening Shot Callback: Young Winterfell Boy mirroring Arya & Bran from S1E1
In the first of what will be many callbacks to previous episodes, we immediately notice the striking similarities of the start in S8E1 and S1E1.
We start with the opening scene of a random Winterfell boy running through the forest towards the crowd:
This kid has done all this work to get up to the front only to have no view 😩😩😩
Who was nice enough to let this kid go through?
But there’s more!
After Arya let’s this kid get through the crowd, he starts climbing up a tree to get a better view:
Which is similar, but not nearly as dangerous as Bran climbing up the tower to get the best view of King Robert in the pilot episode:
Dany & Jon Come to Town
Mike: Yes, we knew this would happen. But after years of waiting, it’s finally here! It was surreal to watch. Just look at them!
Of course, almost immediately after this moment, there is mad tension for Dany & Jon that persists throughout the episode (for REASONS), but at least we had this badass scene. These two definitely know how to make an entrance!
Sean: It really is a badass entrance. Also, shout-out to Varys for calling out Tyrion’s double-standard when it comes to problematic jokes.
Mike: Exactly! Tyrion had the nerve to call out Euron’s weak ass jokes in the Season 7 finale and then turn around and make a weak eunuch joke to Varys. Just one of many signs that Tyrion is off his game. You hate to see it.
Benton: One might say that a eunuch joke is…no hanging fruit…
Mike:
Also, I just want to give a shout out to the GoT VFX team for creating this amazing shot of the Dothraki army marching into Winterfell:
😊 The 🧐 Faces 🤨 of 😌 Arya 🥰
Mike: Maisie, you are a treasure. ALL. THE. LQQKS.
Arya & Jon
Arya & The Hound
Arya & Gendry
Benton: I love the looks on Arya’s face when she sees Jon and the Gendry. Longing to see her brother…and then just her being thirstyyyyyyyyyy.
Mike: Oh, the thirst has been real for quite. some. time.
The Northerners — Passive Aggressive? Racist? Both?
Sean: Cold weather? Passive Aggression towards outsiders? Hostility when said outsiders suggest you do something different than what’s happened since the place was founded generations ago, even if it will obviously benefit everyone? The North is Minnesota.
Mike, speaking for the black delegation: Look, I give the Northerners credit here, they gave everybody mean mugs, but I just have to mention a different perspective here. Almost every white GoT fan in my network had the “well, they just don’t like outsiders” perspective while #BlackTwitter and the #DemThrones was like:
Benton: God I love this GIF so much.
Mike: And who knows?! Maybe the Northerners can move to “I had two black friends over for a special boar dinner” stage by the end of the season. But it feels more like this will happen:
Benton: I would hope that shitty white lady from the bbq would have died a long time ago in Westeros. She was definitely a Frey.
Sean: As a member of the white delegation who remembers what it was like to move to Minnesota as a child, I concur with the findings of the black delegation.
Mike: I appreciate the support. Overall, I respect the Northerners’ consistency. They would definitely vote Trump.
But that switch from 😤 😡 to 😱 👀 when the North saw those 🐉🐉 tho!
Before…
After.
Mike: The only time I’ve felt the level of swag that Dany feels in this moment was when my 5th & 6th grade basketball teams were crushing teams by 30 points a game. We lost in the championship game twice tho 😤 😩 ARROGANCE IS NOT GOOD, DANY!
Mike: I also LOVE the two different reactions Arya and Sansa give to the dragons flying over Winterfell. Arya is like “I’mma ride these MFers” and Sansa is just pressed 50 ways to Sunday.
🎻 🎺🥁 Sean’s Symphonic Sidebar Time! 🥁🎺🎻
Sean: All these character callbacks are great (and there are more to come) but can I talk about some music callbacks too?! Is now a good time to do that?
Mike: The floor is yours.
Sean: Ok, so on my first viewing(s), I definitely picked up that they were using the same music as when Robert arrives in S1E1, and it really helps highlight the parallels between the two scenes. But then I saw a bunch of people talking on the old Tweet Machine about the use of elements of the Targaryen theme during the scene, and I was like “huh, didn’t pick up on that until the dragons flew by — is that what they were talking about?”
Quick sidebar on the sidebar. The Targaryen theme is based around a series of 4 (sometimes 5) two-note rises. The first is a step-and-a-half rise (say C to D#), typically repeated 3 times. The 4th (and sometimes 5th) rise is a half-step ending on the original base note (so B-C in this example). “Sean! I don’t really know what any of that means!” That’s ok, hypothetical person acting as a rhetorical device! I’ve found a good example for you! It kicks in at 0:24 into this video:
There’s a lot you can do with this simple skeleton of a theme. These main two-note rises are usually accompanied with light strings playing a quicker tempo harmony around them. Sometimes the 2nd repeating pair is a half-step rise to the second note (so D-D# to continue the example). Often you’ll hear a chorus singing this “Main” theme. But our guy Ramin is super clever! He’s taken this same basic structure and uses it in what I’ll call the “War” version, often played with a cello and/or bass. It usually accompanies the Unsullied kicking assorted asses. That theme can be heard here, coming in at around 1:10 in this video:
Anyway. After reading these comments online, I watch the opening scene again with an ear for it. And I gotta say. Y’ALL. The elements of the Targaryen theme? THEY’RE PLAYING THE “WAR” THEME UNDER THE KING’S ARRIVAL THEME!! IT’S WILD! It’s both in harmony and dissonance with the main Robert’s Arrival theme, which helps emphasize the echos of S1E1, but makes it different- almost disconcertingly so. The music dies away while Tyrion and Varys talk, and then the main Targaryen theme picks up once the dragons fly overhead- which makes that setup all the more amazing. Just fantastic work by Ramin Djawadi THE GOD.
Benton: Sean with the early “Ramin Djawadi THE GOD’ reference this week.
Sean: …. And? I will also note that Ramin Djawadi seems to do this playing around with themes a lot — more than most composers for TV or movies. The most extreme example that I’ve heard was in Westworld. He took a super dark and ominous theme from Season 1 that was played on a synth (Freeze All Motor Functions on the S1 soundtrack), brought it up a few octaves and played it delicately on the piano and it became a delicate, mournful theme played a few times in Season 2 (I Promise on the S2 Soundtrack). Exact same notes. The man is VERY good at his job.
Jon Reunites with Bran
Mike: Ugh! Jon’s face when he sees Bran 😩😩😩 And look, we are going to talk all day about how creepy Bran is but when he first sees Jon you can tell he has some #feels.
Sean: Nice transition to the Stark Theme here as Jon sees Bran for the first time since he left for The Wall back in S1E2.
Mike: Also, Jon’s hug & kiss combo is similar to the last time Jon saw Bran in S1E2:
Mike: And just look at little Bran here 😭
And since Bran was in a coma (?) at this moment he didn’t get to say goodbye to Jon OMG THIS IS SO EMOTIONAL. This is the last time Bran saw Jon:
Mike: And there’s some key dialogue from this scene:
Bran: Jon!
Jojen: If he sees you, he won’t let you go north.
Bran: He’s my brother.
Jojen: And wants to protect you. He’ll take you back to Castle Black. You have to decide.
Mike: Ugh, just more and more sadness why do I watch this show?! Twitter memes, cheer me up please!
Mike: Jon’s like “WTF is up with you, brah?”
Benton: It’s been a minute but I don’t remember the OG Three-Eyed Raven being THIS weird. Bran is the guy on the subway who just stares at you the entire ride and just when you think he may murder you starts knitting or some shit.
Sean: I mean, the Three-Eyed Raven was basically a tree, which is a whole different kind of weird. We don’t really know what the Children of the Forest really thought of him.
Benton: I’m gonna go out on a limb here (pun intended) and say still not as weird as Bran.
Mike: Fun fact: Isaac Hempstead Wright, the actor that plays Bran, doesn’t have 20/20 vision so he can’t see shit on set 😂
“I’m completely blind when I’m on set.” — Isaac Hempstead Wright
Mike: As a long-time card-carrying member of #TeamFourEyes, I feel Isaac on this. Not being able to see definitely helps pull off the distant, creepy vibe.
“Where’s Arya?” S1E1 Callback
After Jon finishes his awkward reunion with Bran he asks “where’s Arya?” which is the same question Catelyn Stark asked before King Robert arrived at Winterfell.
Dany Meets The Stark Family
Jon: Queen Daenerys of House Targaryen. My sister, Sansa Stark, the Lady of Winterfell.
Dany: Thank you for inviting us into your home, Lady Stark. The North is as beautiful as your brother claimed, as are you.
Sansa: Winterfell is yours, Your Grace.
Benton: I feel like Dany was actually trying. Maybe it’s just that Emilia Clarke has an irresistible smile, but I kinda felt bad for Dany here. However, I have Sansa winning my Iron Throne pool cuz that bitch is cooollldddddd bloooooooodddeeddddd.
Mike: I agree, Benton. I mean this is a “I’m trying my best here” face:
Also, Sansa’s “Winterfell is yours, Your Grace” is the same line Ned Stark said to King Robert when he arrived inside Winterfell! Back then, Sansa was DEEP in love with Joffrey 🤮🤮🤮 so this quick line is another example of how far Sansa has come.
Benton: The opening parallels gave me ALL THE FEELS. This series started in TWO THOUSAND ELEVEN! Yea that’s right, I wrote out the date in words because it was THAT LONG AGO. What a change tho from that first episode. Jon wasn’t even allowed to greet Robert back then and now he is next to his Aunt-lover leading an army!
Mike: Exactly! They had Jon in the second row and didn’t even recognize his presence, which, was bad back in S1 but at least it prevented him from getting the King Robert Death Touch!
What’s the King Robert Death Touch you ask?
Well, the geniuses over at New Rockstars realized that all the Stark family members that King Robert touched (Ned, Catelyn, Rob, and Rickon) are dead, and all the members he didn’t touch (Sansa, Arya, Bran, and Jon) are still alive! I mean if you watch the video again and see how Robert interacts with the family it almost makes no sense! Why rub Rickon’s head and then be like “nahhh I’m done touching the other kids after Rob” 😂 Just an incredible scene.
*Back to the present*
“We don’t have time for all this. The Night King has your dragon. He’s one of them now. The Wall has fallen, the dead march south.” — Bran
Everyone else is like:
Mike: Dany, Jon, and Sansa’s faces are great here. Just like “da fuq?”
Is it just Winter or is this Council meeting especially cold to Jon?
Sansa: Lord Umber, when can we expect your people to arrive?
Ned Umber: We need more horses and wagons, if it please my lady. And my lord. And my queen. Sorry.
Sansa: You’ll have as many as we can spare. Hurry back to Last Hearth and bring your people here.
Mike: So, when I first watched this scene I was like “why is Sansa calling on the youngest kid in the room?” but you should know that nothing in GoT is unintentional and of course at the end of the episode we’re like:
Lyanna Mormont v. Jon Snow: Round One
Ned: At once, Your Grace.”
Lyanna: Your Grace.” But you’re not. Are you? You left Winterfell a king and came back a — I’m not sure what you are now. [PEOPLE MURMURING] — A lord? Nothing at all? —
Jon: It’s not important.
Lyanna: Not important? We named you King in the North.[PEOPLE EXCLAIMING]
MAN: King of the North!
Jon: You did, my lady. It was the honor of my life. I’ll always be grateful for your faith. But when I left Winterfell, I told you we need allies or we will die. I have brought those allies home to fight alongside us. I had a choice, keep my crown or protect the North.
Sean: Lyanna Mormont from the top rope!
Benton: If I was Jorah, I would legit avoid Lyanna the entire time. That 12 yr old will FUCK YOU UP.
Mike: Lyanna was like:
Mike: Look, I think everyone has been #TeamLyannaMormont since S6 but I’m just gonna say it RIGHT now…
If there’s any top rope Lyanna is jumping from it’s some nationalist-North-on-some-mad-Olly-vibes bullshit 😂 I MEAN LOOK AT THE RESEMBLANCE HERE:
But I get it, Lyanna. I really do. However, I would hope that the young kid leadership mirrors most reasonable millennials in believing that Jon had a good reason to bend the knee. I mean just watch the first half of this video to see how hard Jon was representin’ the North in S7! Dany had to work! And it wasn’t until Dany went beyond the Wall to save Jon’s crew that he finally bent the knee.
ALSO… this ain’t the first Stark to bend the knee ARE WE FORGETTING ABOUT TORRHEN STARK EVERYONE?
For those who don’t know Torrhen Stark (a few hundred years before the start of Game of Thrones), his nickname is literally the King Who Knelt. And you know what? That was a good fucking idea. Aegon “First of His Name” Targaryen and his sister wives would have turned the North into a bunch of Icee popsicles if he was on some hype Lyanna shit.
Sean: Fair points, Mike. Also, a lot of people are talking about how they thing this is hinting at a betrayal by people of the North. However, I think this scene with Lyanna is setting up a moment later in the season where Dany is finally accepted by her- and by extension, the rest of The North. It reminds me of Saving Private Ryan a bit. *Spoiler Alert for a 20 year old movie* (holy shit, Saving Private Ryan is 20 years old!?)
Private Reiben, played by Ed Burns, spends the majority of the movie complaining about the mission. When they finally meet Private Ryan, and he says he’s staying with his unit to defend the bridge, Reiben cusses him out pretty thoroughly, and seems pretty disgusted with him. But after spending a bit of time with him, while they set up the defenses of the town and wait for the inevitable counter-attack, he comes to accept Ryan and his decision to to leave immediately, which culminates in this moment:
Man, gets me every time. Anyway, I can totally see something where during or after the Battle of Winterfell, Dany does something to earn the respect of Lyanna (who basically functions as the embodiment of all the people of The North) and is finally “Accepted” as queen.
Nobody Cued You, My Dude
“And soon the Lannister army will ride North to join our cause. I know, I know. Our people haven’t been friends in the past.” — Tyrion
Benton: Oh, have they not? Have they not been friends? Not the time, my dude. Not. The. Time.
Sean: Tyrion is suddenly REALLY BAD at reading the room.
Sansa v. Dany: Round Two
Sansa: May I ask, how are we meant to feed the greatest army the world has ever seen? While I ensured our stores would last through winter, I didn’t account for Dothraki, Unsullied and two full-grown dragons — What do dragons eat, anyway?
Dany: Whatever they want.
Mike: I’ll just say I respect the 🥶 chill 🥶 between Sansa and Dany right here. They both pulled petty ass moves here. Sansa openly asks a question about Dany’s dragons without even acknowledging she was in the room! And just when you think Sansa wins via knockout Dany connects with a 🔥 line and doesn’t look at Sansa either! Just masterclass work by both ladies.
Again, I get it. Sansa has to protect the North and Dany has to defend her position. I’m fairly certain this will last about halfway through Episode Two and then things will get better.
One last note: My second favorite part of this scene close behind “whatever they want” is how poor Jon is stuck in the middle of these two powerful women 😂
Our first ex-husband and ex-wife GoT reunion!
Sean: Tyrion is looking suspiciously towards Gendry and I DON’T LIKE IT!
Mike: Same! What are you hiding Tyrion?!
Mike: If you’re wondering why Lord Royce is giving Tyrion the stink eye here, it goes back to Season 1 as well!
Mike: Also, I’m curious as to what Royce and Sansa were discussing before Tyrion crashed their party but it’s not that important. Moving on!
Sansa: Last time we spoke was at Joffrey’s wedding.
Tyrion: Miserable affair.
Sansa: It had its moments. Apologies for leaving like that.
Tyrion: Yes, it was a bit hard to explain why my wife fled moments after the king’s murder.
Sean: Yes, Sansa, Joffrey’s wedding DID have its moments.
Mike: And while Sansa escaped death, she faced far worse for the next three seasons 😩. As she mentions below:
Sansa: We both survived.
Tyrion: Many underestimated you. Most of them are dead now.
Tyrion: I’m sure you weren’t thrilled to hear the Lannister army’s marching north. You have every right to be fearful of my sister. No one fears her more than I do — But I promise, you’ll be safe.
Sansa: Cersei told you her army was coming north to fight for you?
Tyrion: She did.
Sansa: And you believed her?
Mike: Sansa was like “and you believed her?”
“I used to think you were the cleverest man alive.” — Sansa
Sean: After her “I used to think you were the cleverest man alive” line, I yelled (to my empty apartment) “Fuck him up, Sansa!” and now I am Darryl, Socrates’ friend, from this Hall of Fame tweet:
Mike: Definitely, one of the best tweets of all-time. And while we’re talking about greatest hits, another wonderful person of Twitter posted a clip of Sansa’s best comebacks. Roll the tape!
Benton: TELL CERSEI IT WAS ME (RIP to the GOAT Lady Olenna)
Sean: Yeah, Sansa is on her way to being Lady Olenna’s true heir.
👀 Bran Staring at People Vol. 724 👀
People on they TOES:
🗡😭😩 Jon & Arya Reunite 😩 😭 🗡
Mike: This is a goregous picture. That’s all. Also…
IF YOU THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH CALLBACKS YOU WERE SADLY MISTAKEN.
We’ll start by going back to Season 7 with Arya and Sansa talking about Jon:
Mike: Sansa is not wrong!
Jon: How did you sneak up on me?
Arya: How did you survive a knife through the heart? I didn’t.
Sean: I love how they just kinda gloss over all the events of the past *Question Mark* number of years. At least Jon and Sansa had a nice little sit-down scene that implied that they’d been talking about everything and catching up. But Arya and Jon just sorta let it all slide. Like, is Jon aware that Arya is a badass assassin now? I HAVE QUESTIONS.
Mike: Add it to the number of questions in this show!
Sean: So I guess Sansa or Bran told Arya about that whole “Jon got knifed, died and then came back from the dead — but like, in a good way, not like in a wight way” thing? Or is that just common knowledge around The North? I feel like it’s not common knowledge because “I died — here are witnesses to my being dead, and then came back to lead you to victory against the Night King” should hold a decent amount of sway with people, IMO.
“You used to be taller.” — Arya
Benton: As the resident short person of this blog, can we stop with the digs at Kit Harrington being short?!
Mike: Talk to D&D! We are height-neutral at ScreenGods 😅
Jon: [CHUCKLES] You still have it.
Arya: Needle.
Jon: Have you ever used it?
Arya: Once or twice.
Jon: Where were you before? I could’ve used your help with Sansa.
Arya: She doesn’t like your queen, does she?
Jon: Sansa thinks she’s smarter than everyone.
Arya: She’s the smartest person I’ve ever met.
Jon: Now you’re defending her? [CHUCKLES]
Arya: You?
Benton: I was so pleased with Arya standing up for Sansa in this scene. The evolution of Arya and Sansa and their relationship as sisters has been really moving.
Mike: People forget these two did not like each other from the beginning of the series! So, I can totally see why Jon was shocked at Arya defending Sansa so strongly:
Which brings me to one of my low-key favorite moments of the entire series:
And one of my favorite GoT gifs coming all the way back in the pilot episode:
But even with all this animosity early in the show, Arya started to thaw the ice:
And these two are like BFFs offscreen too:
And in the outtakes?
I’m sorry. That was inappropriate. Ok, back to the scene!
Jon: I’m defending our family.
Arya: So is she.
Jon: Yeah.[NORMALLY] I’m her family too.
Arya: Don’t forget that.
Sean: Arya’s “Don’t forget that” has some real ominous overtones to it. REAL FUCKING OMINOUS OVERTONES.
Mike: Could be, but I sure hope not! I file this into the “Episode 1 reunion but don’t forget our family ties” folder. D&D have to add a little edge so it’s not all warm and fuzzy reunion. I’m mean look at the next frame here:
Mike: I think it’s some faux-tension that won’t go (or have the time) to become real.
Benton: The whole time I watched this scene I was wondering “What is Jon going to think when he sees Arya in action?”
Sean: Yeah, we could be in for a scene like Sansa watching the Arya/Brienne duel, except it’s Jon getting his ass saved by his Certified Badass little sister and he’s gonna be REALLY confused.
Mike: They have to give us this. Ok, this have to give this to me. I NEED IT!
Cersei’s Good News Is A Little Different Than Ours
Qyburn: Your Grace, I’m afraid I bring terrible news.The dead have broken through the Wall.Good.
Cersei: Good.
Mike: When QYBURN is looking at you like you crazy then GOTDAMN you are insane.
Benton: When the dude who got a hard-on for a zombie hand last season is concerned about you, it is not looking good.
Sean: I love how Qyburn never seems quite certain if he’s giving Cersei good news or bad news, and then just rolls with whatever her reaction is.
Euron Just Wants a Friend and…
Sean: I find this scene weirdly normal for a scene involving Euron.
Mike: Weirdly normal indeed. Euron was like “I have no one to talk to” which was a very tongueless-in-cheek comment, because, you know, HE CUTS OUT HIS CREWMEN’S TONGUES OUT
This also doesn’t help them when Theon comes to save Yara later…
Sean: Yeah, I question how helpful an entire crew that can’t talk would be generally, although there are other ways of communicating at sea (whistles, drums, etc).
Benton: I can’t help it. Euron cracks me up so much. I mean he is def gonna die soon, and I will not mourn him. But while he is here, I am entertained.
Mike: Agreed. He is so much fun.
🤷🏻♂️ Don’t Cheat Euron 🤷🏻♂️
Cersei: Twenty-thousand men, is it?
Harry Strickland: Yes, Your Grace. A few died in transit.
Euron: They cheated at dice. Or maybe I cheated. Someone cheated. They weren’t good fighters.You won’t miss them.
Benton: HBO really upgraded Harry Strickland. He is basically described as Steve Bannon in the books.
Sean: Steve Bannon in Westeros? YIKES. And, of course Euron casually killed members of the Golden Company. Of course!
Mike: Euron, v good at fighting!
🐘 🧐 Where are my GoTDAMN elephants? 🧐 🐘
Cersei: Horses? —
Harry: Two thousand.
Cersei: And elephants?
Harry: Uh, no elephants, Your Grace.
Cersei: That’s disappointing. I was told the Golden Company had elephants.
Harry: They are excellent beasts, Your Grace, but not well-suited to long sea voyages.
Cersei: In any event, you are most welcome here in King’s Landing, Captain Strickland.
Harry: We look forward to fighting on your behalf, Your Grace.
Mike: CERSEI WANTED HER GoTDAMN ELEPHANTS
THE SEX STAREDOWN
In GIF form:
Euron: I was hoping we could talk in private.
Cersei: After the war. That was our agreement.
Euron: Wars sometimes last years.
“You want a whore, buy one. You want a queen earn her.” — Cersei
And then:
Benton: I want someone from HBO to explain to me how they decide which sex scenes to show in GoT. We don’t get to see Euron and Cersei but we do get to see Bronn try and fail to get laid once again…
Mike: Great segue, Benton!
Ser Bronn of the Not Having Any Scenes with Cersei
Craya: That boy Eddie —
Dirah: The ginger?
Craya: That’s him.Came back with his face burnt right off. He’s got no eyelids now.
Mike: Excellent Ed Sheeran S7 callback. Of course, got his face burnt off in the “Field of Fire” episode 😂
Sean: Man I TOTALLY missed this call-back. LOL what a way to atone for his weird-ass cameo.
Benton: Still waiting to find out what happened to Gary Lightbody’s cameo from Season 4.
Qyburn the Disease Seer
Craya: You ever get lonely, I am partial to older gentlemen.
Qyburn: Poor girl.The pox will take her within the year.
Sean: LOL @ Qyburn’s Pox comment. And also Bronn’s concerned “Which girl?”
Mike: Yes! Yes! Yes! Just perfect execution from everyone. When Qyburn first came on the show I was terrified. Now, I am terrified and in love. One of my Top 10 characters on the show.
Ser Bronn’s Dilemma
Qyburn: The queen’s brothers made promises to you and broke them. Her Grace wants to rectify their mistake.
Bronn: She once gave me a castle and a wife, then rectified me right out of them.That was Ser Jaime’s doing, not hers.
Qyburn: When Queen Cersei wants something, she pays in advance and in gold.Several chests of it, in fact. Waiting for you in a wagon just outside.
Bronn: So she wants to murder someone, but she can’t send her soldiers. If it’s the Dragon Queen she’s after
Qyburn: She has other plans for the Targaryen girl.
Bronn: Yeah, well, good luck with that.
Mike: Ok, quick pause here. What plans does Cersei have for Dany?! YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER!
Benton: This worries me too! Knowing Cersei, this sounds like it’s gonna be really fucked up.
Mike: 😭*takes deep breath*😭 let’s continue:
Qyburn: Our queen’s brothers are unlikely to survive their Northern adventures. But in the event that they do. She has a keen sense of poetic justice.
“That fucking family.” — Bronn
Qyburn: When the Citadel expelled me, I thought I would die poor and alone, but in exchange for my service, Queen Cersei made me her Hand. What would she do for the man who rids her of her treasonous brothers?
Benton: No one actually believes Bronn is going to kill Tyrion and Jaime, right?
Sean: I’m actually curious as to what Bronn’s move is here. I could totally see him killing one but not the other, or saving one so he can kill him himself later and then getting killed in the process. OR I could see us not really ever seeing Bronn again…
Mike: They are definitely doing their best to set up existential tension here. Maybe Sean is right in there’s an arrow to the heart a la Jon killing Mance situation to prevent a more horrible death. I want to believe in an Option C, where Bronn turns around and kills Cersei or maybe Qyburn and he escapes.
However, you’re both missing the best part of this conversation: the Qyburn redemption story! Look at the gracious Queen Cersei helping our best STEM talent get a second chance to use his skills for the good of the realm.
Seriously. Elephants. I Want Them.
Sean: STILL MAD ABOUT ELEPHANTS.
Mike: SO mad about these elephants. I’m dyin.
Sean: We’re all pissed the Golden Company didn’t bring elephants, Cersei. But alas, there are only so many dollars in the VFX budget.
Mike: It could be due to the VFX budget, but I feel that like a first half of the series issue. Since the dragons have been full grown, GoT has been making bank and turning around and blowing it on crazy effects. Not to say that don’t have a budget anymore, but that’s gotten much larger as we get to S8.
My thinking is that the conversation between Harry Strickland and the elephants went down like this:
Harry Strickland: Hey, so the Iron Bank paid us a lot of money to bring 20,000 men and y’all over to Westeros to fi —
Elephants:
Mike: Drogon and Rhaegal would be set for at least two days with fried elephant, and these animals wanted no part of that.
Benton: Woo buddy there is a lot of first trimester wine drinking. Also, Lena Headey deserves an Emmy for this one screenshot. Her longing for Jaime comes through so much in this one scene. Heartbreaking stuff…if she wasn’t also evil.
Sean: This raises the age old question: How much time has passed here? Like, Euron left in the season finale to go to Essos to get the Golden Company, and now he’s back (sans elephants). How long is that trip? A few weeks? A month? I realize this show has always had an ambiguous relationship with the passage of time, but I’m still curious about it.
Mike: In the pilot episode, Cersei mentioned to Robert that they had been on the Kingsroad for a month. Since Jaime left King’s Landing at the end of S7 I’d assume roughly 3–6 weeks have passed.
Also, why is Cersei drinking here? She didn’t drink when Tyrion poured her a glass in the S7 finale:
🧐 So why now? 🧐 Is she pregnant and doesn’t care? Is she lying about her pregnancy to play her “treasonous” brothers? Is this just a Westerosi version of the morning after pill to not get a “Prince Euron” in her belly? I think (or maybe hope) that Benton is right and she’s heartbroken about Jaime and doesn’t care about risking her pregnancy anymore 😩
THEON DID A GOOD THING!!
Mike: As Theon & Co are saving Yara from Euron’s ship, we are presented with the non-dialogue dialogue of the series:
[DOOR OPENS] [DOOR CLOSES] [BOW STRING CREAKS] [MEN GRUNTING] — [FLESH SQUELCHES] — [GASPS] [PANTING] [GRUNTS] [BOTH GRUNT]
Mike: Another celebrity cameo! Rob McElhenney from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia fame, was the first victim of the Yara rescue. Even more funny is that Rob plays head of security on the show. Good that did him here!
Unnecessary Gore of the episode ✅
Mike: If you didn’t watch the “Behind the Scenes” video GoT published this week, check it out below. They put a lot of time into this face axe scene.
Mike: Yara’s faces are priceless here. Everyone else (knowing what Euron does to people) would be ecstatic to get rescued, but most of what Yara is thinking about comes next:
Mike: Theon should be thankful all he got was a loving headbutt from Yara. Thank all the drowned gods you know, Theon.
Theon: Daenerys went north.
Yara: Daenerys will need somewhere to retreat if they can’t hold the North. Somewhere the dead can’t go.
Theon: You’re my queen. I go where you command.
Yara: You want to go to Winterfell. To fight for the Starks. Go.
Yara: What is dead may never die.
Theon: What is dead may never die.
Yara: But kill the bastards anyway.
Benton: I get that this scene is necessary so we understand why at some point Dany will go to the Iron Islands and why Theon heads back to Winterfell, but also THERE ARE ONLY 5 MORE EPISODES
Mike: I’m assuming the same as you Benton the showrunners will find a way to make this work. Until then, I’ll do my best to guess!
For Theon, it continues his redemption arc. He’s good with Yara after rescuing her, but still has a little work to do to get back into the good graces of Winterfell. My guess is he’ll die a heroic death in the Battle of Winterfell, which still won’t make up for the horrible things he did, but will be a nice bow on his story.
For Yara, I don’t really have much insight, but I do still want her & Dany to be a couple. I think about this moment a lot:
😩 Reunite these two House leaders! 😍
Davos: Still probably the wisest person around
Varys: The Karstarks.
Tyrion: One of the better sigils. Beats an onion, anyway.
“Can’t argue with that.” — Davos
Davos: I’ve been up here a while, and I’m telling you, they’re stubborn as goats. You want their loyalty, you have to earn it.
Tyrion: I sense that you’re leading to a proposal.
Davos: A proposal is what I’m proposing. On the off chance that we survive the Night King, what if the Seven Kingdoms, for once in their whole shit history, were ruled by a just woman and an honorable man?
Tyrion: They do make a handsome couple.
Mike: One comment and one question:
- Comment: GoTdammit, Tyrion is right. They do make a good couple! I am going to enjoy these two for like 10 more minutes and nope I don’t care about the related shit because THEY DON’T KNOW RIGHT NOW.
- Question: What are they talking about in this scene? Because it’s definitely not anything related to Game of Thrones.
Varys: You overestimate our influence. Jon and Daenerys don’t want to listen to lonely old men.
Tyrion: I’m not that old. Not as old as him.[CHUCKLES] Our queen respects the wisdom of age.
Varys: Of course she does. Respect is how the young keep us at a distance, so we don’t remind them of an unpleasant truth.
Tyrion: What is that?
“Nothing lasts.” — Varys
Sean: Lots of good lines in this scene. Most of them are good, really. Shout- out to Liam Cunningham, who I feel doesn’t get as much publicity for how well be plays Davos — At least not as much as Peter Dinklage and Conleth Hill get for Tyrion and Varys.
Benton: Davos is the best character on this show. Don’t @ me.
Sean: I will not @ you. In fact I think the only character that is close at this point is Tormund.
Dragons, Ice Caves, and Ignorance: The Gritty Reboot of A Whole New World
Mike: So I was surprised that so many people didn’t like this scene! I am honestly shocked and disappointed. I don’t know, maybe it’s that people expected every episode to move a million miles a minute because there’s only six episodes? YOU NEED TO USE THE FIRST EPISODE TO ESTABLISH SHIT. It’s ok to have a cute scene like this because, let’s face it, this may be the last great moment they ever have. Ok, let’s get to the fun stuff:
Emilia Clarke is funny AF
Mike: I loved this scene for many reasons (#TeamDJForever), but my favorite part is Emilia Clarke getting the ability to show a different side of her character. Through the first seven seasons, Dany hasn’t had much reason to smile or joke around, so it was refreshing to see her, even for a few minutes, have some fun! I mean look at these faces:
Dany: Go on.
Jon: I don’t know how to ride a dragon.
Dany: Nobody does. Until they ride a dragon.
Jon: What if he doesn’t want me to?
Dany: Then I’ve enjoyed your company, Jon Snow.
Jon: What do I hold onto?
Dany: Whatever you can.
Mike: Eyebrow game 🔥💯🔥. Also, if you want more of this version of Emilia Clarke, shameless plug for her rom-com, Me Before You.
MORE 👏🏿 COMEDY 👏🏿 ROLES 👏🏿 FOR 👏🏿 EMILIA 👏🏿 PLEASE 👏🏿
Final note: I feel like this laugh was an outtake they kept in the episode 😇
🐉 Jon Rides A Dragon 🐉
Benton: Sooooo does Dany just not know that only Targaryens can ride dragons or is that just a book thing?
Mike: She still hasn’t had a real conversation about Jon coming back to life so of course she skips over this important realization. Honestly, she should have known from this point that Jon was a Targaryen:
Mike: People also complained this flying scene was like five minutes long. It was just under two minutes and was an adequate amount of time for JON RIDING A DRAGON FOR THE FIRST TIME AND THEN RIDING RHAEGAL AT THAT IT’S ONLY WHAT WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR EIGHT YEARS YOU SHITS.
Also, Jon will probably ride Rhaegal during one of the battles (or racing to a battle) in a future episode, so it probably makes sense for him to get a test run first. ALSO ALSO, the length of this flying scene allows Jon to go from:
“OMG I’M GONNA DIE”
To “I can get the hang of this.”
Which is an important development for episodes to come KEEP UP KIDS.
You can even see Dany being like “WTF?” which, ya know, 🚨 should be another sign gurllll HELLO 🚨
“Aah! You’ve completely ruined horses for me.” — Jon
Benton: Fun fact: Apparently Kit Harrington almost lost a ball filming this scene. Gotta be careful riding dragons.
“We could stay a thousand years. No one would find us.” — Dany
Mike: As much as fans want to say Dany is power-hunger and blood-thirsty (which, she is), we can also see there’s part of her that just wants to chill in an ice cave away from all the bullshit. And #ItIsKnown that caves are Jon’s power zone!
From Season 7:
And, we could never, ever forget the where the OG Snowman cave legend was born:
But, this is where the fun probably ends for these two #DrogonKnows
Mike: Rule #1: STAY IN THE GoTDAMN CAVE. ALWAYS! 😩😭😩
And the “All of the Different Types of Tension” Reunion Award goes to…
Arya: Leave him be.
Hound: I heard you were here. You left me to die.
Arya: First, I robbed you.
Hound: You’re a cold little bitch, aren’t you? Guess that’s why you’re still alive.
The Hound was like:
Benton: I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THESE TWO REUNIONS FOR YEARS OF MY LIFE! I really want some Arya and Hound fighting together action at the Battle of Winterfell.
🥰 🔨 Arya & Gendry 🗡🥰
Benton: Adorably awkward. Lots of great flirty lines here between Arya and Gendry.
Mike: Adorably awkward is right! And we’re gonna dissect the shit outta this 😂
Arya: That was a nice ax you made for him. You’ve gotten better.
Gendry: Yeah, thanks. So have you. I mean, you look good.
Arya: Thanks. So do you.
Mike: The look when you know you fucked up:
Benton: “I mean you look good.” Wow, Gendry. Spent 5 years rowing and couldn’t think of a better line than this?
Mike: I know, right?! And it’s crazy because Gendry has had some lines in the past.
Mike: And this isn’t necessarily a baller line, but just look at the excitement on Gendry’s face as he’s talking to Jon about Arya last season:
Gendry: It’s not a bad place to grow up, if it wasn’t so cold.
Arya: Stay close to that forge, then.
Gendry: Is that a command, Lady Stark?
Arya: Don’t call me that.
Gendry: As you wish, milady.
🚨 Another Callback Alert! 🚨
Mike: THIS IS WHY I DO THIS SHIT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Arya: Here’s my wish. Can you make it?
Gendry: What do you need something like this for?
Arya: Can you make it or not?
Gendry: You already have a sword. What’s that? It’s Valyrian steel. I always knew you were just another rich girl.
Arya: You don’t know any other rich girls.
Mike: First, new weapon alert! Will she use this to kill Cersei? Will she have to use this to kill her undead mother as Lady Stoneheart chases her through the Crypts of Winterfell? Who knows!
Second, That “you don’t know any other rich girls” line, Arya! My goodness.
And now that the flirting has intensified to its highest levels, it’s time for one final callback from the pilot episode (courtesy of Robert Baratheon):
Sean: Man, it’s gonna suck when Arya dies and Gendry instead marries Sansa in a weird parallel to how Brandon Stark died so Catelyn married Ned instead.
Benton: NOPEEEEEEE. Refuse to believe this will happen.
Mike: You’re OFF the team, Sean!
Jon and Sansa have another argument
Sean: Again — These siblings need to talk more. It would help. A LOT
Mike: Yes, they do, but I don’t know how much it would help? They both argue back and forth with bits of truth and don’t acknowledge each others GREAT questions/rebuttals. Sounds like a perfect modern relationship.
Sean: Yeah, Jon and Sansa are just tweeting at each other at this point.
Benton: Agree, but I do find Jon and Sansa’s relationship to be the most interesting on the show. They really respect each other. Which means something horrible is gonna happen soon to fuck it all up.
Mike: Now what could that something be?! 👀
HOW HAD NOBODY TOLD SAM YET?!
Mike: Let’s just describe this scene with faces:
Benton: This Robin Hood Men in Tights shout out KILLED ME.
Benton: Jim Broadbent’s character in S7 is like “Oh hmm I should probably tell him about this. Oopsies!”
Sean: John Bradley’s look when he finds out his brother also died. Goddamn, that took me out.
Mike: The best “It Can Always Get Worse” scene since the Red Wedding!
Mike: I agree! I bet not see Sam cry again or we WILL have (t)issues, HBO.
Benton: SAM HAS SNAPPED. Don’t mess with nerds who know stuff you don’t know!
Mike: Umm, yes, I feel you, Benton. At the same time… Dany did what she had to do. And while I believe Dany does feel bad, this tweet below is too good not to share:
Bran, You Better Roll Yo Ass Down to Those Crypts!
Sam: What are you doing out here?
Bran: Waiting, for an old friend. It’s time to tell Jon the truth.
Sam: No, no.You’re his brother. Shouldn’t you tell him?
Bran: I’m not his brother. He trusts you more than anyone. Now’s the time.
Mike: Sam’s face when Bran hit ’em with the “nah you gotta tell this shit” was priceless:
Mike: Yes, technically, Jon is your cousin and not your brother, but still! Y’all close family! Sam just learned the worst news seconds ago and you throw this on him? It’s just a cold ass combo, Bran.
Sean: “Waiting for an old friend” GODDAMN, BRAN
Mike: He had time to join Sam in the crypts, tell Jon the news together and be back to wait for Jaime in the morning with hours to spare! 😤
Jon Learns the Truth
But before the truth, let’s enjoy the Jon & Sam reunion
Mike: As for many characters, it’s also been ages since these two last saw each other 😫
Butttttttt that’s where the fun ends.
Jon: What’s wrong? Gilly? Is she all right?
Sam: She’s good.
Jon: Little Sam?
Sam: Don’t you know?
Jon: Know what?
Sam: Daenerys she executed my father and brother. They were her prisoners. She didn’t tell you.
Jon: I’m so sorry. We need to end this war.
Sam: Would you have done it?
Jon: Well, I’ve executed men who disobeyed me.
Mike: I know Sam is still raw after learning about his family (and having to tell Jon this news), however, what Dany did to his family is similar to what Jon did as Lord Commander (and Sam was there for that too)!
Mike: Both Randyll Tarly and punk ass Janos Slynt disrespected my couple (IN PUBLIC) so they had to go.
Sam: You’ve also spared men. Thousands of wildlings when they refused to kneel.
Jon: I wasn’t a king.
Sam: But you were. You’ve always been.
Jon: I gave up my crown, Sam. I bent the knee. I’m not King in the North anymore.
Sam: I’m not talking about the King in the North. I’m talking about the King of the bloody Seven Kingdoms.
Sam: Bran and I worked it out. I had a High Septon’s diary. Bran had whatever Bran has.
Mike: I LOL’d hard at that “Bran had whatever Bran has” line.
“Your mother was Lyanna Stark. [EXHALES SHARPLY] And your father your real father was Rhaegar Targaryen. You’ve never been a bastard. You’re Aegon Targaryen, true heir to the Iron Throne.” — Sam
Jon was like:
Sam: I’m sorry, I know it’s a lot to take in.
Jon: My father was the most honorable man I ever met. You’re saying he lied to me all my life.
Sam: No. Your father — Well, Ned Stark, he promised your mother he’d always protect you. And he did. Robert would have murdered you if he knew.
“You’re the true king. Aegon Targaryen, Sixth of His Name, Protector of the Realm, all of it.” — Sam
Mike: SO. MUCH. HERE. Ok, focus, Mike. I can’t remember many (if any) other shows that have such great series long pay-offs like GoT. Just amazing series construction by D&D, GRRM, and the entire team. Second, props to Ned Stark. He’s one of the worst politicians of all-time, but damn does he know how to keep a secret (the biggest secret btw) and take one for the team. Have the realm believe you, once the most honorable man in all of the Seven Kingdoms, broke your vows, bring a bastard home and have your wife despise you for decades. THAT’s commitment.
Jon: Daenerys is our queen.
Sam: She shouldn’t be.
Jon: That’s treason.
Sam: It’s the truth. You gave up your crown to save your people. Would she do the same?
Benton: And Sam isn’t just telling Jon he is the rightful heir. He is also planting seeds of doubt about whether Dany is a good person/leader. Again, don’t fuck with super smart people who read a lot.
Mike: Sam going up to Dany in the next episode like:
Sean: There’s a LOT to process here. Also, is Howland Reed gonna show up and confirm things for people, or are we gonna just take Sam and Bran at their word? OH *THEORY ALERT* What if the old friend who Bran is waiting for is NOT Jaime, as implied by the final scene, but is actually Meera coming back with her Dad, Howland Reed, who we saw during the Tower of Joy fight and was referenced by name and is the only other person who survived and would actually know and be able to confirm it! WHAT IF?!
Benton: Quite the theory, but I don’t think the showrunners have set that up enough. Pretty sure Bran is just peak level petty and is waiting for Jaime.
Mike: I think for this episode, Bran is just waiting for Jaime. It was already crazy enough for us to be like “is Bran waiting for Sam after hearing his family news” but then it was like “oh, he’s waiting for Jaime” only for it to be like, “actually, I’m waiting for the Reeds.” That’s a few too many hoops for this episode IMO.
However, as the president of the Meera Reed fan club, I am SO here for a reunion. And while a Howland Reed cameo isn’t necessary this season:
Finally, we can’t leave this scene without pouring one out for Jon. In Season 1, he just wanted to be a member of the Night’s Watch, but he’s stumbled and died his way to becoming the Lord Commander, King in the North, and now, the true heir to the Iron Throne.
He just wants to chill out but instead he has another title and has to reckon with the fact that he’s in love with his Auntie 😩😩😩
😱 🔥THE LAST HEARTH 🔥😱
Sean: The Tormund/Dolorous Edd reunion was really riding the line between good and unintentional parody, but I enjoy both these characters so I’ll allow it.
Mike: RIDING that line indeed but I am here for it as well. SPIN-OFF! SPIN-OFF! SPIN-OFF!
Benton: I am already sad about Tormund’s inevitable demise. Dude never loses his sense of humor no matter how terrifying shit gets. I feel like he has earned at least a first date with Brienne.
Mike: At least!
Lil’ Umber was like:
Mike: I mean, just look at these TERRIFYING photos:
Sean: Goddamn, this scene. As I said, I appreciate the return of Lord Commander Dolorous Edd, and the return of creepy ass white walker symbols. Also, I knew from the moment Tormund and Beric walked into The Last Hearth that the kid was gonna be dead and in a gruesome mess, and as soon as I saw him on the wall I just KNEW he was gonna come back to life AND IT STILL SHOOK ME WHEN HE DID HOLY SHIT.
Benton: I went down a rabbit hole of Night King stuff the other night, and I feel like it isn’t just a mission of death. There is definitely more to this dude. Also DO WE THINK HE WILL EVER TALK AND WHAT WILL HIS VOICE SOUND LIKE?!
Mike: Well, of course, someone on Twitter talked about it:
I’m 💀
Mike: But to your other point about the Night King, Benton, I agree! It’s not just a mission of total destruction. There has been much theory written and YouTube videos created about the origins of the Night King and how the Children, First Men, and Andals pushed him back thousands of years ago. Is the Night King a Stark? Is he a Targaryen? Is he both? Did Azor Ahai actually defeat the Night King and the White Walkers with his flaming sword? I don’t buy it. Me thinks there was a compromise struck somewhere in Westeros (maybe at the Isle of Faces) that stopped the apocalypse from happening. If, that’s where the Night King is headed, it’s another way to bring the Reeds back into the fold.
👀 ♿️ YEAH BITCH I’M ALIVE ♿️ 👀
Sean: That feeling when you try to sneak in after curfew but you realize Dad’s been waiting up for you
Benton: As an aside….DAMN JAIME LOOKS GOOD WITH THAT BEARD! DAAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMMMM
Mike: Yes, Jaime can make tired and beat down look good. I’m furious. But check out the difference of Jaime’s Winterfell entrances from the pilot episode to now:
Mike: Also, Twitter really brought during the Bran & Jaime reunion (watch them all because mah guudniss 😂):
Sean: So Bran really waited all night just to stare creepily at Jaime, and I gotta say — I respect the move.
Benton: I respect and strive for this level of pettiness. Probably almost froze to death just to see the look on Jaime’s face.
Mike: Bran is from the North he’s quite literally built for this 🥶 😂 and if someone did this shit (below) to me I would wait all night too:
Before we look ahead to episode 2, it’s time for…
👫 BENTON’S GoT RELATIONSHIP CHART 💏
Benton: This week’s edition is a version of the alignment chart but for all the various types of relationships going on this season. As always, I spent way too much time on this and my grades will most likely suffer. But ya gotta have priorities in life, kids.
Sean: This is EXCELLENT Content. 10/10, a much better use of your time than homework. Might want to tweet this one out there for the viral clicks.
👁 Look ahead to S8E2 👁
Mike: Where I gave praise to Ned earlier in this post, I have to knock him down a billion pegs for this decision in the pilot episode:
Y’ALL COULD HAVE HAD EIGHT MORE YEARS TO PREPARE but you just wanted to keep the peace (which didn’t happen anyway) for a couple more years 🤦🏿♂️
Jaime tryna stay alive
But then when Jaime tries to speak:
Here’s the best thing Jaime can do:
Mike: Ok, this probably won’t happen and Jon may not even tell Dany but it’s still too good not to share:
DA KANG COMIN
He ain’t SCURRED:
Sean: THEORY TIME!! Ok, so here’s one I saw on the old Interwebs today and I gotta say, I kinda like it: What if the Night King sends his army and his White Walker buddies to take down Winterfell while he himself rides his Ice Dragon around all that nonsense and goes to King’s Landing.
He totally avoids the two other dragons and all the armies that have been prepping for his arrival, and he gets to go to the city, which we have been told repeatedly has a million people living in it. THAT’S A BIG FUCKING WIGHT ARMY!!
This would also tie in with both Dany and Bran’s visions of a destroyed Red Keep that’s filled with snow, and Bran’s vision of a SINGLE dragon(‘s shadow) flying over King’s Landing.
It makes sense strategically from the Night King’s perspective. Plus, from a meta-analysis of the story standpoint, it would also make the final battle of the series involve the Night King, instead of that confrontation happening in Episode 3 as it looks to be happening now, and could unite all the characters in one place for that confrontation.
Mike: Damn. This is good!
Brienne & Tormund reunion?
Just a nice, way too emotional reunion for ya
Mike: Never forget, Shireen! Never forget.
O
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Is this post done?
If you actually made it this far, clap for yourself! This is the longest review post in ScreenGods history and may be the longest individual GoT episode review ever. Thank you for taking this journey with us.
