Game of Thrones 8.3 — “The Long Night” Episode Guide

Published in

Screen Gods

30 min readMay 6, 2019

The battle we’ve waited thousands of years and seven-plus seasons of TV time lasted one night. BUT IT WAS A LONG ONE? 🤷🏿‍♂️

Twitter users not watching “The Long Night” last Sunday:

Can you believe that 94% of America doesn’t watch Game of Thrones?

No spoiler review of the episode

Kinda spoiler review of the episode

Initial episode reactions:

Mike: Ok, so I have two reactions to this episode. Here’s the first, communicated in the way that I’ll never be able to match:

Now when you:

Remove the ridiculous expectations set by D&D, HBO, every media outlet saying this episode would feature the greatest battle in TV/movie history
Throw out 8,000+ years and seven seasons of build up about the Night King
Turn up the brightness of your TV

You get one of my favorite GoT episodes of the series! Ahhhhhh, it’s all so conflicting! But, again, the #1 rule we should all follow: there’s hardly anything that can match your expectations so just don’t fall for the trap!

An important note

WE WERE READY FOR MANY PEOPLE TO DIE

I made a huge mistake last week

I thought Brienne was 1,000,000% dead AND I WAS WRONG AND I AM SO SORRY

But people did die and most of the deaths were good (ok, I’ll get into that later!)

Sean: My initial reaction is that this was a great (if exhausting) episode of television. BUT! I’m really not sure how it fits as part of the larger narrative of the season and the story as a whole. We’ll definitely revisit this at the end of the season, but it does sorta feel like they had a few specific moments they wanted and the story was sorta them reverse-engineering those moments into existence. Some of those moments they did a good job of laying the groundwork for (basically everything Arya did has been set up in some way over the last few seasons), some moments seemed fairly natural (the demises of Jorah and Lyanna), a few seemed somewhat unearned (Sansa and Tyrion in the crypts — I know they have a shared history, but they’ve only had one scene together before this episode since S4), and a few looked AWESOME but were also VERY confusing (The Dothraki charge — WHY ARE THE LIGHT CAVALRY CHARGING LIKE THEY’RE HEAVY CAV?! AND WITH ONLY ONE VOLLEY FROM THE ARTILLERY?! AND WHY ARE THE ARTILLERY IN FRONT OF THE DAMN TRENCHES?! WHAT KIND OF SHITTY BATTLE PLAN IS THIS?!). Ahem.

The incessant Helps Deep comparisons leading up to the season and the episode also did NOT help at all. Part of what made Helms Deep such a great sequence was that while the battle itself is 45 minutes, they cut to the other parts of the story (Merry and Pippin with Treebeard, Frodo and Sam with Faramir) at several points. One of these — Merry and Pippin — was even associated with the main story of Helms Deep. That helped build tension while still advancing other parts of the story. Again — I’ll definitely be revisiting this over the next few reviews, but while this was a great individual piece of film making, it’s not quite as satisfying upon further reflection as, say, Hardhome or even Blackwater.

Who’s Your MVP of the episode?

Mike: Surprise! I don’t have a short answer.

Sean: That’s so unusual.

Mike: 🤷🏿‍♂️😬😅

Overall MVP: 🔥 Melisandre 🔥

Mike: Look, I’m not sayin my gurl is perfect. In fact, she has major flaws. SHE BURNED SHIREEN. It’s a problem. However, after many counseling sessions in Volantis, the Red Woman got her groove back and DOMINATED this episode.

#1 motivator of Arya Stark 😍 and the Dothraki 🥶
Emergency trench lighter
Chose her way to go out when like 50,000 people in Westeros wanted to kill her

Note for anyone that says Arya is their MVP:

Best Team Award — The Women of Winterfell (Arya, Lyanna, Melisandre, Dany, Brienne)

GoT All Defensive — First Team

Beric: the tweet below says it all

Theon: Dude held it DOWN with the dragonglass spear + bow & arrow combo

Jorah: I still don’t know how he survived that first wave attack but I’m glad he saved our girl.

Edd: Died just so cryin ass Sam could run away but he’d died for Sam 100/100 times

Jaime & Brienne: Wow they were just having mad sex on the battlefield good for them.

GoT All Defensive —Second Team

Dany: THERE WILL BE NO DANY SLANDER ON THIS REVIEW (except when I do it). Dany saved the ground fighters, saved Jon (AGAIN), and has NEVER backed down from any fight on this series.

Tormund, Gendry, Pod: They didn’t die and didn’t do anything stupid so congratulations.

GoT All Defensive —Third Team

Jon:

Look, his on the battlefield performance should put him on the Second Team, but his tactical mistakes put him next to Sam down on this list.

GoT All Defensive — Sixth Team

The Hound: I AM MAD AND DISAPPOINTED but you saved Arya so be thankful you’re this high on the list.

GoT All Defensive —Thirteenth Team

Sam: Don’t get me wrong, I respect Sam’s willingness to join his brothers on the battlefield but understand your strengths my dude. We told HBO two weeks ago we didn’t want to see Sam cry again and they did NOT listen.

Miguel Sapochnik, the director of this episode, mentioned in the “Game Revealed” extra that he split the episode (or “movie”) into three distinct genres:

Genre Sequence 1: Suspense
Genre Sequence 2: Horror
Genre Sequence 3: Action

So we’re gonna review this episode with these genres in mind.

Let’s get to it!

Genre Sequence 1: Suspense

🚨 TRACKING SHOT ALERT 🚨 snorts cocaine WE LOVE TRACKING SHOTS

Sean: Aaron Sorkin and Tommy Schlamme wish they could nail a tracking shot as great as this. Walk-and-talk? Fuck That, Sam’s got a Walk-and-Shit-His-Pants-Repeatedly and it’s fantastic.

Opening Scene of our Fighters

Sam gets up to Edd

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.You took your time.” — Edd

Mike: Yea! But like why the fuck are you here, Sam?! I know you can fight — and that you killed some wights — BUT OVERALL YOU WERE A LIABILITY

Sean: ALSO THE PEOPLE IN THE CRYPTS COULD USE, YA’KNOW, AT LEAST ONE OR TWO PEOPLE WITH SWORDS JUST IN CASE?!

The Red Woman Returns

Mike: MAH GURL IS BACK

🚨 Callback Alert 🚨*find scene from Season 7 when Melisandre said she would return to Winterfell*

“Do you speak their tongue? Tell them to lift their swords.” — Melisandre

Mike: FIRE DOMINOES!!! What a gorgeous shot 😩

Edd approves of Melisandre’s party fire trick

Mike: This was stupid subtle wink that Edd would die soon and I’m still not happy.

Davos does NOT approve tho

Mike: Chill, Davos! The only one that decides to kill me is ME.

Sean: Yeah, Davos really gotta calm down a bit, especially after that whole “lighting the swords on fire” trick. That could come in handy. MAYBE

Drogon and Rhaegal were like “oOoo good light, let’s ride!”

Mike: Beautiful! See, I’m telling you I liked this episode. Stick with me!

Jorah leads the Dothraki charge (w/Ghost)

Mike: Seeing Ghost next to Jorah (which, like, MAKES NO SENSE btw) is still astounding!

Sean: Yeah, I mean, Ghost was clearly angling for a quick “get the fuck outta this enclosed space” move — if things go south, he can go hang with his sister Nymeria. And the producers were clearly angling for a “Look, it’s really hard to CGI wolves and make it look in any way natural since humans have a baseline understanding of what canines look like and how they interact with humans so just lay off and enjoy these dragon aerial battle, ok?” move.

Mike: It all seems so hopeful right now! Look at the Dothraki charging with their fire blades! The good guys are gonna win, right?

The Wights to the Dothraki

Everyone seeing those lights go out

Everyone looking at Jorah as he came from the initial assault

Sean: So we’ve already established that Jon isn’t the best tactician, but my god — what looks cool is RARELY what’s best for your army and its survival. Someone should have asked Yohn Royce, the absolute unit that is so about battle that he has never taken his armor off, what to do. He’d probably suggest, as would I, that a headlong charge with light cav is NOT the best idea. What you COULD do is split the Dothraki into a few groups. Have some dismounted and in Winterfell where they can do some actual good. Have some mounted and waiting to attack the flanks when the Army of the Dead gets bogged down by the trenches. And have SOME of them go south and fuck things up for Cersei — LIKE THE ACTUAL RAIDERS THEY ARE. The MOMENT you heard from Jaime that Cersei wasn’t sending anyone else, SEND SOME OF THEM DOWN TO DEAL WITH HER!! She wouldn’t be expecting it, either! It’s WAY better than just sending them to get mowed down by the undead.

Genre Sequence 2: Horror

“Stand your ground!” — Brienne

Mike: That worked really well! Also, NO ONE SHOULD SURVIVED THIS BATTLE. The wights came in and literally tackled everyone from the jump. All the main characters should have been gone in seconds 😂

Well Mike you just had to bring up “not surviving” didn’t you?

Edd dies protecting Sam

Mike: They could have given Edd a much better death. I mean D&D or some other GoT director said it would be impossible to give everyone a great death (so I get it), but now knowing how few main characters died I feel they could have given him better treatment. However, I’ve decided to transfer my frustration to Sam and WHY THE FUCK HE WAS THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! EDD MAY STILL BE HERE DAMMIT!

AND THEN AFTER EDD DIES SAM JUST RUNS AWAY (which is probably the best move BUT GoTDAMMIT BE IRRATIONALLY HEROIC)!

Sean: Man, they did Edd dirty. I get that dying for your friends rather than the good of the realm is the reality of the Nights Watch, but C’mon. Edd was at Hardhome! He deserved better than a quick stab in the back while looking out for Sam, who should be in the crypts in the first fucking place.

Dany switches up the plan

Jon: The Night King is coming.
Dany: The dead are already here.

Mike: Dany was like “if you don’t LET go on my GoTdamn hand…” I’m goin to save my people (about five minutes too late).

Mike: I do love this switch up tho. Everybody thought Dany said this because of the crypts, but it was because she just saw her entire Dothraki squad get WERKED. Also, while people got mad for Dany deviating from the plan, more people agree that the original plan was bad, so Dany getting on Drogon to burn all those wights probably saved more lives than just staying on that hill.

Sean: Yeah, Jon and Dany should have been right above the Dothraki on that charge. I mean, you also never make that charge, but if you’re going to do it SEND THE FUCKING DRAGONS IN TOO! The “Suspense” section would have been more suspenseful if they had a better battle plan and it still went poorly. But anyway…

Mike: At least we got some amazing shots?

Mike: Absolutely stunning camera and VFX work. But there’s more!

Make it a painting and sell it for $50 million please!

Ok, that was fun, but let’s talk some more about tactics.

90% the brown people are gone THANKS

True

Sean: UGH! More tactical issues! As we move into Horror, can we talk about the Horror Show that is the defenses outside the castle? Why are the armies in FRONT of the trenches? They have to fall back through choke points! Why would you do that?! And even if you have some of the army in front of the trenches, WHY ARE THE CATAPULTS AND TREBUCHETS OUT IN THE OPEN?!?! WHO THE FUCK DECIDED TO DO THAT?! THEY ONLY GOT ONE SINGLE SALVO OFF!!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! Look- I get you only have so many spike to put in a trench- but why isn’t there a larger trench further out? You maybe put some of your army in between the two trenches, but you for SURE make it so that as the dead are climbing all over eachother to get through the first huge pit, you can shred them to bits with the artillery that are- and I cannot stress this enough- BEHIND THE INNER TRENCH SO YOU CAN STILL USE THEM EVEN AFTER YOU SET THAT TRENCH ON FIRE! This whole thing should be about slowing the horde down so you can permanently kill (with fire or dragonglass / valyrian steel) as many as possible. I mean, have none of y’all played Starcraft or Age of Empires? I get my guy Yohn Royce has, and nobody even bothered to ask him did they? DID THEY?

Also, why is so much of this battle plan dependent on Visually signaling to Jon and Dany to light the trench? Maybe have a plan B? The Night King LITERALLY BRINGS A BLIZZARD WITH HIM AND IT CAN BE HARD TO SEE THAT FAR DURING A BLIZZARD FOR FUCKS SAKE GUYS WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING?! Again — I loved most of this episode, but their battle plan was shit.

Get the steppin’ Sansa!

Sansa: I’m not abandoning my people.
Arya: Take this and go.
Sansa: I don’t know how to use it.

Arya was like

Light the trenches scene

Mike: MVP! MVP! MVP!

Let’s check-in on those crypts

“It’s the most heroic thing we can do now look the truth in the face.” — Sansa

Missandei checks Sansa

Sansa: It wouldn’t work between us.
Tyrion: Why not?
Sansa: The Dragon Queen. Your divided loyalties would become a problem.
Missandei: Yes. Without the Dragon Queen, there’d be no problem at all. We’d all be dead already.

Sean: Maybe in the middle of a siege isn’t the best time for flirty banter, even if it does help set up a more emotional moment later in this episode and potentially call Tyrion’s loyalties into question later? Maybe y’all could be doing something to reassure all the people down in the crypts with you? I dunno, just a thought.

Bran forgives Theon then goes to watch Endgame

Mike: Theon definitely dead.

Sean: Theon’s BEEN dead. Just a matter of time and place.

Bran: I’m going to go now.
Theon: Go where?

*Probably to go watch Endgame*

Mike: Now in fairness, Bran was playing his role by sending the Night King a GPS pin of where he was at, but still, could have been a bit more specific.

Sean: Is that what he was doing with the ravens? Or whatever he’s doing here? Does the Night King only get pinged when his Nokia is in use? Or is he off doing something else?

Mike: Maybe the Night King will tell us later in the episode BECAUSE I WAS PROMISED WE WOULD HEAR THE NIGHT KING THIS SEASON.

Sean: This is one of the things that could have been set up better and/or whose context could change depending on what we learn in the next few episodes.

Wights say “fuck yo trench!”

Mike: Find you a partner that will lay down in a fire trench so you can walk over like these wights! Yes, I know they are zombies controlled by the Night King but damn at some point one brain cell gotta be like, “wait you want me to do WHAT?”

Sean: I get that it’s easy to be a Monday Morning Siege Planner, but they shoulda made the trenches wider and deeper, IMO.

Mike: The post-action report is gonna be brutal.

Jon sees the Night King

Brienne, Jaime & Co retreat and fight wights on the castle balcony

Mike: Brienne looking out for Pod (feels level: 150)

Brienne and Jaime protecting each other on the wall (feels level: 150,000,000)

Mike: Again, Sam should have been a goner but 🤷🏿‍♂️

However, these inexplicable escapes led to one of my favorite GoT memes of the week:

Props to my internet friend bitchville for the find 🙌🏿

Arya kicks wight ass

Sean: Davos has a great look here. Just fantastic.

Beric snaps the Hound of his punk behavior

Beric: Clegane! Clegane! [SCREAMS] [GRUNTS] BERIC: Clegane! Clegane, we need you! You can’t give up on us.
Hound: Fuck off! We can’t beat them. Don’t you see that, you stupid whore? We’re fighting Death! They can’t beat Death.
Beric: Tell her that.

Mike: For all the punk behavior Sandor exhibited here my goodness the look he had when he saw Arya 😩😭😍 YOU GO PAPA

Sean: Yeah, we’re definitely headed towards a “Post-Clegane Bowl a grievously wounded Hound has a touching moment with Arya before she stabs him in the heart to put him out of his misery” moment.

Best Death Ever?

Mike: OMG WHAT A BADASS WAY TO GO OUT. Easy winner of “THESE COLORS DON’T RUN” AWARD #TeamLyanna cemented forever.

Sean: I had seen a pic of this moment before the episode, and knowing it was coming almost made it worse. It also eliminates my “Lyanna finally accepts Dany, representing the entire North accepting her” theory from contention. I guess I should have know better than to think D&D would let her survive.

Mike: I am v sad as well, but at least it’s a baller way out! Also, her spotlight allowed the internetz to find this gold:

And my gurl Maisie got moves too!

If Emilia Clarke has dance footage out there my brain will explode.

DRAGONFIGHT — Part 1

Sean: The Night King’s entrance here is so extremely badass. One of the greatest “Main Villain Enters The Fight” moments.

Mike: WE HAVE OUR FIRST DRAGON FIGHT!!!!

Yeah, it was kinda hard to see (shocker, I know) but, still, pretty cool.

Sean: I had an ok time seeing it, but I had a hard time following it. I know the idea was to make everything disorienting, but making the three dragons more unique (color, markings, anything!) so this could have been a bit easier to follow would have been nice.

Mike: Yes, this is a better description. I was like “I hope the dragon that just bit that dragon was our dragon!” They were some times were you knew it was Vision (blue flames or massive holes in the dragon wings) but the scenes were cut into so many 3–5 second clips it was hard to follow.

Arya Library Scene

Mike: VERY LOUD BLOOD ALERT!

Mike: Well done, Miguel. This scene scared the shit outta me.

Mike: I don’t know why but this female wight giving Arya’s shoulder a gushing blood kiss was one of the most sincere moments of the episode. I tear up every time I watch it.

Sean: Yeah, Maisie Williams doing great work here showing a mix of terror, relief and disgust, all while it’s dead quiet.

Arya getting chased through the halls

Mike: Me, during this chase scene:

Beric and the Hound

Arya escapes wights (with some help)

Mike: Beric “die 20 times, get up 19” Dondarrion with one of the most memorable shots of the entire series.

Sean: The literal Jesus moment he had was a TAD heavy-handed, but it still works for him.

Mike: Fair 😂 I feel like Beric was GoT’s version of Jesus, but it’s one of the few action sequences that made sense in this episode.

Melisandre and Arya scene

“The Lord brought him back for a purpose. Now that purpose has been served.” — Melisandre

Mike: I like how Melisandre was just chillin in the room ready to drop bars. She’s three steps ahead, y’all. M-V-P!

Arya: I know you.
Melisandre: And I know you.
Arya: You said we’d meet again.
Melisandre: And here we are. At the end of the world.
Arya: You said I’d shut many eyes forever. You were right about that too.
Melisandre: Brown eyes green eyes and blue eyes.

🚨 Callback Alert 🚨

Mike: In Season 3, Melisandre went “Brown, blue, green” with the eye color, but in this episode she goes “Brown, green, blue.” Most people expect Arya to kill Cersei (including me), but does this mean she won’t kill Cersei now? We’ll see!

[WIGHTS SNARLING AND THUDDING ON DOOR]

Melisandre: What do we say to the God of Death?
Arya: Not today.

Not today oooOoooo

Melisandre was hypin Arya up like

Genre Sequence 3: Action

Mike: See how they go from Arya running off screen to the Godswood HINT HINT BUT WE DIDN’T SEE IT YALL

Godswood Bran Defense Scene

“Here they come! Steady, lads. Steady now. Make every shot count.” — Theon

DRAGONFIGHT PART TWO

Mike: Mann I was happy as hell when the Night King fell.

But also, look at the Night King fallin like it’s no big deal 💀

Dany preheats the Night King

Sean: Night King has that classic villain overconfidence down.

Mike: HE CAN SMILE OMG THAT MEANS HE’S GONNA TALK RIGHT? RIGHT?!? Also, if Drogon would have gotten that kill I’d be in first in my GoT fantasy league 😩

Night King be like

Jon runs after the Night King

Mike: We can give Jon all the shit for being a poor tactician, but dude has NEVER (well, ok he kinda backed down vs. the Night King in the Eastwatch episode last season but besides that NEVER) backed down from a fight.

Sean: Look. I’ll give him credit here. But Aegon VI. My Guy. DON’T JUST FUCKING STOP RUNNING!! KEEP GOING!!! YOU ALMOST HAD HIM!! I mean, we know it wouldn’t have worked (in the post-show recap D&D said he needed to be killed in the Godswood, which would have been good info to actually PUT IN THE SHOW SOMEHOW but that’s neither here not there).

Mike: When the Night King wasn’t ready for the Jon smoke we should have known right then and there. Shameful.

Dany saves Jon

Mike: Thanks for saving Jon, Dany! But after Jon decided to go towards the Godswood, DON’T STALL ON THE GROUND AND ALLOW WIGHTS TO GET ALL STABBY WITH DROGON! Ok, I’ll give Dany the benefit of shock in this situation (totes normal for a battle between the living and the dead), but still.

There’s also this hilarious YouTube comment:

Sean: One thing I did appreciate here is that both the dragons acted like actual animals. Drogon got covered in wights and fucked off into the sky to shake them off, just like a bird would do. It actually made sense as a way to temporarily remove them from the endgame of the episode.

Sean: Yeah, they tell you the castle is in a nice neighborhood, close to the historic district but don’t mention the undead army just on the other side of that old wall. Sure, they tell you the wall is a registered historic place and should help the value of the castle increase over time, but isn’t is suspicious that it’s this cheap in the first place?

Speaking of issues the realtor didn’t discuss before closing

Sean: This would have been the perfect place for Varys to bite it. He could have maybe even killed a few wights too, with a dragon glass dagger he just happened to have this whole time.

That little girl didn’t do shit

Sean: Shireen would have taken down a bunch of those old-ass starks is all we’re saying.

Mike: Full disclosure: There was supposed to be more action in the crypts with Sansa and Theon killing a couple wights, but those scenes didn’t make the final cut. But since we’re the shit and a half, here you go:

Theon faces the Night King

👏🏿 Props to Theon 👏🏿

Jon runs through Winterfell

Mike: This is low-key one of my favorite scenes of the episode because Jon was like “well I guess Sam’s dead.”

Anytime Sam fights

Sam lying about the battle to Gilly like

Jon was ready to die

Jon, getting saved AGAIN

Also true

Sean: Don’t forget that time he was rescued by his uncle.

Mike: That’s true!

Night King v. Bran

Mike: Mannnn the Night King came through STUNTIN I’m dead

Sean: Would this be a good time to talk about Ramin Djawadi’s score for this whole sequence? It is?

Mike: Yes please!

Sean: Ok, cool. Roll that intro:

🎻 🎺🥁 Sean’s Symphonic Sidebar 🥁🎺🎻

Sean: The piece here is aptly called “The Night King” and you should definitely take 9 minutes out of your day to listen to it:

First things first: Do you remember the only other time Ramin Djawadi The God has used piano in the score? OF COURSE YOU DO! It was in the opening of the Season 6 finale, in a piece called The Light of the Seven:

The climax of that glorious piece of music is when the Sept of Baleor gets blown to the seven hells by wildfire. So we’ve already been trained to expect carnage when we hear piano in GoT. It also starts playing when Tyrion and Sansa are hiding in the crypt. The first note actually plays the exact moment Sansa pulls a dragonglass dagger out from her cloak. It’s just a piano playing as we pan around everything going even more to shit then it was, until the Night King and his bros start strolling into the godswood. At that point, a cello starts adding an ominous undertone to the whole piece. The key drops and more strings kick in right as Theon charges the Night King, and the cello picks up a variation on the main Game of Thrones theme, which is something RDTG likes to do, especially in big, pivotal moments (you can hear it in The Light of the Seven). Here is where I’ll add my one slight criticism of RDTG — the layering of strings and piano here sound a LOT like some of the Westworld variation themes. I know it’s a cliche to say a composer sounds like himself (especially one that’s a Hans Zimmer protege), but the little music-identifying voice in my brain keeps on waiting for it to turn into music from Westworld (It’s the same one that can point out similarities between the Gladiator, Pirates of the Caribbean and Dark Knight scores. He’s super fun to be around). Luckily on first watch I was so pulled in that I honestly didn’t notice until I saw someone tweet about it. I guess that’s just one of the perils of being The God and writing amazing scores for prestige TV. Anyway, the point is, RDTG does amazing work here, as always. A few bits and pieces of the theme were scattered in scenes with the Night King earlier in the episode, and here it just really builds perfectly. Not too frantic, just escalating with the hopelessness, and building to the perfect climax:

👀 🏃🏻‍♀️🔪 Arya shocker! 🔪🏃🏻‍♀️👀

Mike: It took the Night King 8,000 years and seven seasons to get to Winterfell and another 15,000 years to walk across the Godswood to get to Bran 🤦🏿‍♂️

Mike: OMG I loved the subtle detail of the perfectly conditioned white walker hair blowing. During the first watch I was like oh what the fu —

Mike: Is this not one of the best shots ever?! EVER.

And then when you think all is lost this happens:

Mike: Then hit ’em with the no look!

Who would have thought the Night King’s death would happen because of these two?!

Also, WHAT KIND OF ARMOR IS THIS, NK?!?

Arya Twitter Takeover Begins Now

Arya Stretch My Hands

Arya DMX

Arya kills NK crowd reactions

Bran was like Arya

Bran knew

How Arya leaped to the Night King

Theon was like

Arya GOAT tweets

You will get CLAPT

Arya Sports References

Arya x Dame

Arya in 4

Arya Belichick

Arya to the Jets

Arya, rejoining the Stark fam after killing the Night King

Arya Queen of the Seven Kingdoms

Michelle Obama

Gendry talking about Arya

Gendry, First Man of the Seven Kingdoms

Gendry behind his protector

Gotta dump him

Sean: Man, fuck that guy. Maisie could have stabbed him in real life and the cops wouldn’t have said a damn thing.

Arya’s badass journey

Sean: The worst was later in the week when some stupid fuckers were all “Oh, Jon yelling at the dragon was him distracting the dragon while Arya ran past! He’s yelling ‘Goooo!!’ at her” Man fuck y’all — she would have already had to be in the damn Godswood. He was yelling at the dragon WHILE SHE WAS IN MIDAIR JUMPING TOWARDS THE NIGHT KING!! I realize this show plays it fast and loose with the passage of time, but this is most DEFINITELY not it. He didn’t yell at a dragon for like three minutes while she sprinted past him and into the godwoods. Y’all need to get the fuck over the fact that girls can be badass assassins and kill things all by themselves. They’ve been setting this up for three seasons based on her entire story arc. The point of Jon yelling at the dragon was that shit got so bad HE WAS YELLING AT A DRAGON AS THE LAST RESORT TO TRY TO KILL IT OR SOMETHING I DUNNO I DON’T THINK JON EVEN KNOWS SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA YELL AT THINGS!! Fuck, people are so dumb.

Funny behind the scenes with NK, Arya, and Bran

Sean: I read a few interviews with Vladimir Furdik, the Slovakian stuntman who has played The Night King since season 6, and they’re all pretty hilarious. It’s not that he comes across as particularly funny — it’s just all these interviewers are asking questions of him like he’s a serious actor, when he’s actually just a stunt guy! He was doing stunts and coordinating stunts in a bunch of the scenes we saw, and then played the Night King for like a week. Someone asked him what part of his performance he was most proud of, and he said not hurting Maisie in any of the 15+ takes they did where he had to grab her throat and arm as she was jumping at him. What a pro!

WTF White Walkers?!

Night King looking at his White Walker crew like

White Walker Blue Devils

WTF Night King?!?

Night King Paul George

Backup QB-level Night King

Mike: From hittin a 40-yard out last season to easily missing his last two shots. Disappointing.

Sean: Impressed at the combine but couldn’t cut it in the league. The Night King is Mark Sanchez.

Jorah Dies — Goodbye, Ser Jorah of the Friendzone

🍺 Pour one out for #TeamMormont 🍺

Melisandre peaces out

Mike: You’ve done good gurl. But let’s get these jokes off

Davos making sure

Post-Episode Commentary

We gotta talk about how dark the episode was

Sean: Look. Maybe it’s because I watched it on my TV while having only 2 faint lights on so I wouldn’t kill myself when I got up to get more scotch. Maybe it’s because getting laser eye surgery 8 years ago makes my eyes especially sensitive to screen brightness. But I didn’t really have a problem seeing anything in this episode. I get the complaints, and HBO and the production team shouldn’t be so fucking defensive about it, but I didn’t realize the darkness was bothersome to people until this episode.

Mike: Yeahhhh this has been a problem for awhile but in this episode it got worse. I’ve been clued into this issue since I started these reviews last night. I’ve taken thousands of screenshots watching every second of the show multiple times and my goodness this show is darker than necessary.

For this episode, I had all the lights off and that shit was still too 😂 I changed the settings on my TV and it made it better, but this was just a bad move by the cinematography team.